-No Title-

'I'll be there in about 20 minutes. Will you be ready?'1

She almost shivered at the thought of how 'ready' she really was. 2

'Yes,' she managed to utter into the phone before his battery died. Left in silence, she smiled as she hung up her own phone. Walking to the bathroom, she giggled to herself as she thought of the ecstasies the night had to offer. She looked herself over one last time in the mirror, and discovered there was nothing more she could do to prepare for the evening. She wandered into the living room, where she sat day-dreaming on the couch until the sudden honk of a car horn outside startled her back to reality. Opening the door, she couldn't contain her smile, and as she approached the vehicle, neither could he. She climbed into the jeep, and they were on their way. 3

Each of them knew what was going to take place, but both refused to ruin it by speaking of it. Their original plans were to go to the movies, and get a bite to eat: the normal teenage date stuff. Where he took her was far, far different though. There was a secluded spot that he knew of, a spot he had never thought to take a girl before. It was always just a place he and his buddies went to get stoned without getting caught. It was a clearing in the woods, basically in the middle of nowhere. Luckily it was vehicle accessible, because the skirt and thigh-highs she wore definitely weren't hiking material. As they drove through the woods, she said in a small flirtatious voice, 'Where ever are you taking me, Romeo?' He let out a chuckle before turning to her and saying through his sly little smile, 'You'll see.'4

After perfectly maneuvering the jeep into the clearing he had taken her to, he said, 'Here we are. Now let's talk.' Just as he had finished the sentence, thunder sounded outside. She felt her heart leap as her fantasy of having sex outside, in a storm, crept into her mind. 'Well,' she said, 'I love your little spot. Do you bring all the girls here?' He knew she was flirting. He turned the engine off and unbuckled his seat belt. Moving a little closer to her, he answered jokingly, 'Every, single one.' He unbuckled her and pulled her closer. A chill ran down her spine as she eyed up his perfect hands, that were now both on her. She could feel her body growing hotter as the adrenaline started working its way through her. Thunder sounded again, louder this time, and they could hear the rain hitting the roof. She looked straight ahead out the windshield and saw a flash of lighting. When she looked back at him, she could not resist making the first move. She slowly moved in, and pressed her lips to his. After a few minutes of passionately exchanging long awaited kisses, he stopped. 'Let's move into the backseat,' he said with a smile she couldn't resist saying yes to. He helped her into the back, and climbed back after her.5

He laid her down onto the seat, which seemed strangely comfortable to her, and softly rested his body on top of hers, kissing her almost immediately. Darkness was quickly approaching due to the storm. Their kisses grew feverish and their hands began to wander. She could feel his hardness pushing against her pelvis through his pants. Her right hand was on his shoulder, her left hand inside his shirt, softly scratching his back. She dug her nails a little deeper as he kissed and gently nibbled her neck. Everything he did drove her to the point of orgasm. He lifted her shirt and kissed her tummy. He pulled her to a sitting position to unfasten her bra, kissing her mouth while doing so. Gently removing her shirt and bra to expose her pierced nipples, he felt a throbbing ache in his cock. Before laying her back down, she made sure to remove his shirt as well. Before kissing her mouth, he whispered to her how beautiful she was. She couldn't say anything, however, because he quickly put his mouth on hers. They were almost frantic now as the intensity of the moment multiplied. He removed her skirt with agile hands, and marveled at the fact that her underwear were nowhere to be seen. Kissing her breasts, he gently eased a finger inside of her. She arched her back and let a moan escape her lips, the sound enhanced by the quietness filling the jeep as the weather grew worse outside. 'Please,' she almost panted, 'take your pants off. I want to feel your naked body on mine.' He brought his lips back up to hers, removing his right hand from between her legs to hold himself up as he unzipped his pants with his left. After strategically removing his pants without injuring either of them, he placed himself between her now parted thighs. 'Is this better?' He breathed harder as he felt his throbbing cock gently brush against the warmth between her legs. 'Yes,' she almost moaned. She wanted him so badly. The hot, wetness of her pussy made it impossible for him to resist her. 'Take me,' the words were almost inaudible, but he had been waiting for her command. With his left hand, he took her right hand off his shoulder, their fingers interlocked as he slipped inside of her. She felt him inch by inch as he eased himself deeper inside. Clenching her vaginal muscles, she rocked her hips with the rhythm of each of his thrusts. The slow, deep movements quickened. The only sound reaching their ears, other than the storm outside, was their own heavy breathing. With her left hand she was scratching his back, scratching harder as he pounded himself deep inside of her. She moaned, and suddenly, as she was about to come, he stopped. 'I want you on top of me,' he whispered frantically. She giggled and kissed him, then backed her pelvis away from his as he slipped out of her. He sat up on the seat, and she climbed on top of him. She kissed him softly as she lifted herself to her knees and grasped his cock with her left hand. She brushed the tip of his penis against her opening, then slipped only the head inside, only to remove it shortly after. It was driving him crazy. 'You tease,' he said, smiling. She kissed him hard as she finally slid her pussy all the way down his shaft. Her hands were on his shoulders, supporting herself as she rode him softly. Watching her, he tried his hardest not to come inside of her. He couldn't hold back any longer, he wanted to take her hard and fast. He moved his hands from the seat and put them on her back. He laid her down on the seat once again and she wrapped her legs around him. She couldn't keep herself from moaning as he pounded her hard and fast. 'Where should I come,' he asked her suddenly. He almost couldn't hold it when she answered, 'I want to taste you.' She moaned loudly as he drove himself deep inside of her in the excitement he got from envisioning coming in her mouth. He was trying his hardest to hold it, but suddenly couldn't any longer. With no possible way of reaching her mouth in time, he slid himself out of her and spilled onto her stomach and chest. 'Sorry,' he said apologetically. 'Don't be,' she told him, unable to conceal the smile on her face as she placed her fingertips in his semen. She then brought her hand up to her face, seductively licking the come off of her fingers. 'This could get addicting,' he said smiling.6

With a napkin that he found in the glove compartment, he tenderly cleaned off her stomach and chest. She sat up and kissed him softly on the lips. They exchanged shy smiles as they reclothed themselves. He helped her climb back into the front seat, and then followed. 'Let's get something to eat,' he said as he turned the key in the ignition. The motor made no sound. 'Shit,' he uttered as he realized he had left his lights on, therefore killing the battery. 'Do you have your phone on you,' he asked her, 'Mine is dead.' She regretfully informed him that she had left her phone at home. For a moment they sat in silence, until suddenly they looked at each other and laughed. They climbed into the backseat.7

Author notes

This is the first piece of this kind that I have written. Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

Also...title suggestions?

What did you think? Please comment!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Token Massacre silver member
    August 15, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Absolutely amazing

    Suggestion for a title would be ... In the Middle of Nowhere.
    Opinion on this story is wow. Not only is it extremely erotic it's well expressed. You pull the people right in there with you as if we're being naughty and watching them through the window. I'm extremely impressed.
    As for suggestions, you need to work on your layout. You have him and her talking in the same paragraph, that doesn't work. When he speaks it's his time same goes for her. Break up your paragraphs a little more.
    You could do with more background information .... Things she is looking at or doing while waiting for him to show up. You tell us nothing about the characters, not how they look, their ages .... nothing
    Also in paragraph 6 you wrote 2 sentences back to back that begin with 'before' neither is necessary.
    You've got some sentence fragmentations and those are easily fixed. Read it aloud and it'll make more sense as far as wording goes.
    This is your first erotic story, wow I'm faving this and I'll definitely be back to read more. Oh and I love the fact that they left the lights on. good minor detailing


  • FirstScript
    April 27, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome!

    Really the first one? You're good!
    Title suggestions? Well...
    How about Storm Songs ?
    Just a suggestion... but great work!


  • catrinaG
    July 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    *jaw drops* Damn. Absolutly amazing. My favorite erotica story ever. You need to do more of these, if you do, I'll most likely add you do my favorites list! Woah! awsome awsome awsome work.

    XXCATXX

  • thepoisonpen
    July 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this is ur first story?? clap clap!!!! as for a title..dang i suck at titles..its hot


  • July 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    ooo this was hot and great for ur first story x x

  • Black Rose 1481
    July 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Sexalicious

    very sexy soo hottt i love the fact that he left his lights on
    im a fan now check out some of my stuff
    Sh0rty


  • Twisteddolly
    July 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Lol this was awesome!! an excellent write...very real scenerio, the emotions were also a nice touch. Hot, tempting and very descriptive! I loved it, the ending was also a very cute with the dead battery....shoot I wouldnt mind being stuck out there with him

    Jessixa

  • neurossection
    July 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hah, that was a really great story ... very, very hot, and just really cute little high school kid date thing. The dead car battery was a nice little way to end it, kinda humourous. Great write!

  • Vampyric Lust
    July 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this was really good especially for it being your first write and everything...fuckin talent man. I cant think of a title but it reminds me of a very good song by skid row


  • rindomai
    July 21, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    haha that was awesome... just cuase there's actually a story and it's cute in and of itself. especially the whole dead car battery thing LOL! that would suck.. but hey, make the best of it, right? as for title... hm. bah i suck at titles LOL sorry...

1 - 10 of 10