Right now, I find myself stuck. It's been over 48 hours since I found out. 48 hours of shock; 48 hours of convincing myself that they made a mistake: you would never make that grand of a mistake. 48 hours since I sat on my bed, tears screaming down my face and rocking me, anger and confusion fusing together. 48 hours since I stood in front of my mirror, watching as my eyes grew puffier with every second, red inhabiting the area and a tight feeling of air restriction in my chest. I've talked about it plenty; we had no choice. Sadly, the same thing was said in every conversation; "He was the LAST person I would have expected to do something like that"; "Nothing feels the same anymore"; "He must have been desperate, because he clearly didn't think it through." It's all been said repeatedly, but that doesn't cease the tears from trespassing with every thought of you; your name, your dorky sneakers, the way you once threw a fake centipede at me and cracked up when I screamed like a seven-year-old girl, and of course, your eyes; the most breathtaking shade of light-blue meets aqua-green. You were one of the most interesting people I knew; a great role model (for the most part), handsome beyond reason, funny, smart, quirky, and with the sense of humor of a child (stupid centipede!). Of course, you had your moments of seriousness. You'd angrily tell us to shut up and we'd listen; it wasn't often that you raised your voice to us. When you did, it was often for good reason. You were always a reasonable guy, willing to push us all to put out our best.1
So why did I write this, you ask? Because...it's the only way to unstick. That may sound creepy, or even stalker-like, but right now, I just feel so drained and tired. Not because of lack of sleep or sugar; but because I've been trying so hard to stay strong when everything else is spiraling out of control. I've always told myself I have the strength to withstand anything life throws at me, but this...I can't do it. Not now, anyway. Now, the only thing I want to do is crawl into my mom's lap and cry myself endlessly until sleep overtakes me. I can't do that though; the thought of being seen crying isn't appealing. Never liked it; never will.2
Chances are, you'll never see this. The importance of writing it is still crucial. Hopefully, one day I can come visit you. It won't be for a while. For one, I can't drive, and two, I'm not strong enough to face you just yet. When I am, maybe I'll have the guts to ask you why. Why you so stupidly chose to ruin your life, and your family's, and why couldn't have just asked for help. Did you think you were above that? You should know that any of us, all of us, would have helped in a heartbeat. And I hope you know that people talk about you. A lot. Especially those who didn't personally know you. It angers me, the things they say. I always stand up for you, G, for one reason. They didn't know you. And I did. That makes all the difference, because unless they knew what a kind, helpful, and considerate person you were, they wouldn't understand the motivation for my emotional behavior. You made a mistake, G. We all do, just some are bigger than others. You'll have to pay for your mistakes, but it doesn't make you any less of a person. Just know that when you get out, those who knew you will still be thinking of you, and wishing you and your family all the best in the world. So for now, it's goodbye. Just know; you'll always be my favorite math teacher. Stay strong, G.
Author notes
True story. I just had to get this off my chest. I haven't been able to stop crying.
Purple pigs fly in Texas
He just doesn't know what he's missing, Liz
A contest entry
- Emotional struggle by SimplyNoodle.
175 points, ended May 28, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel YOU by Dual.Of.Fireflies.
115 points, ended June 4, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow. This is really emotional, and I don't know what happened, but I think it's better that way. You really packed everything you needed to say in there.
So thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest!
Style: 9/10
Flow: 10/10
Uniqueness: 4/5
Readability: 7/7
Effect: 9/10
Lack of Errors: 3/3
Personal Score: 4/5
Total: 46/50 -
Good
Hello and thanks for entering my contest !
So, I’m commenting as I read, so bare with me, true!? Here goes…
I must say that the sequence of emotion is very prominent…starting off numb, anxious and sat…then growing more bold and slightly angry and pointed. I was put off by the long paragraphs, feeling impact could be better made in shorter bursts, but overall, this was a very powerful piece of writing.
When repeating over and over, paragraphs help. The use of punctuation made it kinda chaotic, taking away from the work slightly, but again, I must say it was very powerful and emotionally strained.
You did a wonderful job writing this. True emotion strung together in print always make for intense reads.
Great work and thanks again for entering.
~R
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Wowezers.
This was the most amazing story yet on Storywrite. Welcome to the finalists list! -
Holy crap, that part about hating being seen crying is something I totally identify with. I do have a suggestion, instead of a ton of semi colons and commas, perhaps break the sentences up a little bit more. Just a suggestion. I hope "G" gets better and comes back soon. Good luck in the contests! -Liz
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A good story but I am just one of those ppl who hate a lot of repitition in an opening, that is why you lost me on this one. great use of emotions though.
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This is really sweet... it really did make me feel deep. Though it was a little different than most stories I have seen so far, it really works for the contest. Thanks for entering!
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Wow, perfect. *clears throat from crying* excellent job. good luck. this definately hit a chord in my heart.
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Very good.
Awh wow, This is a very well written and emotional story. It also fits the guidlines perfectly. Athough he did somthing wrong, you still have complete faith in him. And athough you dont know what to do, and you cant stop crying. You still try to be strong. Beacause you know somone has to be strong other wise no one will be. I am very proud of you, one for writting this, and geting all your feelings out in the open. And two for being strong enough to struggle through it. Wonderful, and emotnal write here. I love it. And If you ever need somone to talk to feel free to message me, I am always up for a good chat. Good luck in the contest.
~ Chelsey
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