Lifetimes away- Chap 1

What most people have to remember about religion is that it is mostly humanly sanctioned which leaves a lot of holes for whatever ever force a human chooses to believe in. I guess I could call myself christian, but I already have met and talked with such a force or God. I know that before we come down from heaven we write our whole entire lives out, well not every moment of it, but the highlights, when we will meet certain people and how the relationship plays out. This will then take place with God were he fills in the holes and boom you're born.1

I know there are a lot of people that don't believe in reincarnation, well for me it exists. I have lived a total of 156 lives, and some have been better than others. I currently reside within the body of a 25 year old woman named Jessie. I haven't really decided if I really like the name Jessie, the first human name ever given to me was Sorcha. I guess that maybe I am still a bit old fashioned.2

Why is it that I remember all my lives and the information I bare with them? God put it simply that he wants me to remember so that I may better help those that suddenly cut off their destiny. You see we may write the entirety of our lives before we come from heaven, but we also don't take into the account the negative influences of the earth. That is why most old souls think it's worthless to come back.3

I unfortunately do not have the means to not come back to earth, with my charge and all. I may interact with this world as a human and be known as a psychic, but I cannot talk about my deal with God. Which makes explaining how I know things rather tricky. I guess for example, I remember distinctly hating the fact that I would once more have to go through 12 years of hell just to get a bit of freedom. I was 5 by human standards, but i wanted to take the high school exit exam.4

I tried asking my parents for it, but what came out of my mouth instead was "Can I have a crayon?"5

Which to say the least frustrated me and even as I tried again the filter just formed other words. I was later explained by my best friend Ray, (whom is actually one of the old souls that won't come back) that no matter how I try to exert my superiority I am not allowed to explain it fully. I had to appear as normal as possible, but it's hard to be normal when you've never been normal.6

I spent much of my childhood writing notes that only I could understand, and that which gave me comfort that I could write down my ideas as long as no one figured out my code. Which begged another question, how long was I to keep this charge? Simply put, God had said until my soul mate comes to break the cycle. I would die, live, and help until then.7

I often wondered what it would be like to simply die and finally be able to stay with Ray. We had been best friends throughout time, it was in our 5 life time Ray decided that she wasn't going to come back with me. Simply put, she was tired of dealing with the pain and in that life time had finally found her soul mate. There was only one other life time that she had come back after that declaration.8

That had been my 17th life time and it was just after we had met, possibly a year. Ray had planned to be born in a good family, but had ended up with a drug addicted whore mother, and a pimp father. This had ended with an accidental/ intentional death. She had simply walked out into the street and got crushed by two cars that slammed into each other after she was trying to cross the street.9

How was it accidental and intentional? She had been considering dying, but she hadn't meant right at that second. Ray was just one of the examples of people taking and throwing away their destinies. If Ray had lived, she would of given a chance to a lot of kids that needed her and it had changed a lot of others destinies after that starting a spill of many unwinding ropes. 10

I then got charged with remembering every last one of my lives, and helping those that needed it. The bad part was that sometimes I really didn't want to remember and sometimes repressed it until I couldn't stand it anymore. I had come to accept it easily enough in this life time though. God had really thought out how to place me in this life time, but I guessed that he had put me in the others to help me further be able to connect with others.11

I had been given psychic parents and both were very open minded which made it much easier to just accept my destiny. Yet, even with my help here on earth, there is always one or more forces at worth. The embodiment of death is ever present and even though I don't mind death they seem to really be unemotional.12

"Hey Sorch!"13

Ray popped in beside me, she had crystal blue eyes and red curls that framed her face. 14

"I have your first assignment of the life time!"15

I hadn't gotten to help anyone just yet, with I having to build myself up to this point it'd taken a long while. I frowned, and it wasn't like had I hadn't expected it to come just not this soon after I graduated college to get a good job.16

"Hey Ray, what is the big man needing?"17

Ray had one thing going for her, she was a rather lively soul. 18

"Well it seems there is this guy and he works with you, he's been having a hard time dealing with the death of his daughter and well..he is thinking about taking law into his own hands. His daughter was murdered by a pedophile who is currently locked up."19

When she said the first part I got flashes of the man I was going to help. His name was Timothy, he had had a daughter named Chelsea. Timothy had white blond hair, green cat eyes and was rather tall. His daughter had been about 6, Chelsea looked way different reddish brown hair with waves of silk, and dark liquid eyes. The reason he was having a hard time is that Chelsea was the only child his wife could have. Complications had caused his wife to never be able to bare another child naturally on her own.20

I felt a wave of sympathy for Timothy and his wife Jane all the sudden. In the same instance that I felt it, I was sent back in time to relive something that I had locked away.21

My name was Annette, I was a french courtier about to bare my first child. I had tried so many times before, but my body gave up after the first two months of pregnancy and with each time I tried more heart ache seemed to spread. This one was my miracle, and thus would bare a name like no other child. 22

I flashed to several years later, I stood over the grave of my only child. Phillipe had been my life's work, miracle and now I had nothing to show for it. I didn't have any grandchildren, I didn't have a husband and no one would take a barren courtier of my age. 23

I was rushed back to my life time now as the present Jessie, yet even as I felt myself get pulled from the bitter sweetness of Anette. I could feel tears traveling down my cheeks, and my throat closed as I choked on a sob. 24

Ray was eying me closely as I had done the flash things many times before with her. Sometimes I came back smiling, others angry, confused, and sometimes I just cried.25

"It was bad Ray."26

I managed to choke out before I sobbed once more.27

"Don't worry Sorch, it's over now and you can help these people."28

I nodded, I would help these people deal with the death of Chelsea, after seeing the flashes of Anette I knew how to approach Timothy. I still had to come up with ways to get across to him that I understood without making it apparent that I knew what was crossing his mind.