Falling too Fast

“This is what New York is, Mija,” and, oh, it was. This boy had melted down my worries and boiled away my fears. This magical boy had taken me to the top of the world and shown me what it’s like to live without fear.
“It most certainly is, Diego,” He laid his hands on my waist and flipped me right side up. His smile was enchanting. It was amazing that just five hours ago I was sitting in a hotel lobby flipping through a magazine because I was too afraid to go up the statue of liberty.
That seemed like a lifetime ago. Now I was fearless and free, on the edge of the world with the most beautiful boy in all of New York. He had taken my soul at breathed life into it.
My parents had left me in our hotel lobby to go up the statue of liberty when I said I was too afraid. It was so funny the way he had approached me. He walked right in front me, bent the middle of my magazine down and curtly said “You have beautiful eyes, you should let the world see them,” I laughed then. Laughed at the queer way looked at me, at the fact that he was talking to me at all.
Frankly, he was gorgeous, and I was not. But he was talking to me and soon he had whisked me away on what he called his own tour of “The Real New York” He simply started talking to me and after that he had me hooked. It was odd, but it was amazing.
Diego had olive skin and electric green eyes. He had an odd habit of brushing his hair back about once a minute. Sometimes he’d take his cell phone out of his pocket and flip it in and out, in and out, in and out.
It seemed all and everything he said and did was perfect. The way he talked made me feel like the top of the world just for being around him. I knew that this was falling in love.
He drove me around in his clunky green truck and showed me the side of New York only the naives new. We ate hamburgers in a under ground dusty little grunge blasting joint. We danced in in a neat little park tucked beneath the overwhelming chaos of his, our real New York.
In no time, I was on the edge of the world, or the top of his apartment building, upside down. I had told him I was a gymnast on the stairs on the way to the roof and he had insisted that I should stand on my hands on the ledge. Something in his wide green eyes just made me think he could catch me if I fell. I knew this was love, I knew it.1

He picked me up the next day in his truck and drove me back to his apartment. We walked up the stairs to the roof again and spent the day talking and talking and talking. Him being witty and funny, me laughing. We sat on the ledge of his building watching the sun set low in the sky.
“I think I love you, Mija,” He slipped his hand into my back pocket and I slipped mine into his. He leaned into me and kissed my neck. I leaned into his warmth and we kissed and kissed. He wrapped his arms around me and moved me away from the edge. The time was right, the setting perfect, and the way I felt about him left me vunerable. I would to anything at all for him. He tickled my bare belly and worked his hands hirer. Then he whispered into my ear “Stay here with me, stay with me forever”
“Wait, what?” I sat up, braking our kiss.
“I’m twenty, you will be eighteen in two months, I have my own place, stay with me,” I was shocked. I couldn’t stay with him! That was insane! I’d known him for two days!
“Diego, I’m sorry, I can’t,” He didn’t look at me. He locked his eyes on the sunset as I turned to go.
I cried as I walked back towards my hotel. I knew that what Diego and I had was special, but I couldn’t live with him.2

“Forever,” one faint word in the darkness. I heard one tiny call, a booming whisper in the empty room of my hotel.
“Hello? Is someone there?” I slipped on my slippers and stood up.
“Stay with me, forever,” the voice was not that of Diego’s, it had no wit or charm. It was cruel and estranged but still, it was his.
“Diego! Diego where are you?!” His eyes were red with weeping but still a shinning green. They were all I saw in the blackness before I felt the slice of the gag and the blinding hatred of two silver needles to my eyes. I could feel the neddles presence in the back of my eyes, I could blink without them hurting like hell.
He dragged me by my wrists to his apartment. I could hear him open the door of his apartment and he pushed me down to the floor.
“Now you will stay with me forever. Now you will love me, forever and ever and ever,”
“I won’t! I do not love you!” I screamed through the pain in my eyes. He kicked my side.
“So many love me though! Here, let me show you those who love me!” He laced his fingers through the back of mine. He led my fingers across the smooth feel of human skin “This is Sarah, she loves me,” it was her arm that my fingers felt. He released my hand. I continued to trace her arm. Her hand, I realized, was nailed to the wall.
I could hear Diego’s foot steps slowly moving across the floor “This is Katrina. This is Lily. This is Laura, Riley and Jamie… And now, Julia,” He grabbed me and threw me across the room and I crumpled against a wall “They all love me, and now you will too!” I felt him plunge a nail through my hand, and then the second. He plunged in the nail deeper with every whack of a hammer “You,” Whack “Will,” Whack “Stay,” Whack “Here,” Whack “Forever!” The pain seared through me with every plunge of the nail. My eyes and hands were screaming. He picked up my other hand and nailed it too. I hung like a crucifix on his apartment wall. I couldn’t believe what a vile evil thing Diego had turned out to be.
Then I felt his lips, warm and gentle still, on mine “I’m sorry,” His voice was soft, gentle, the voice of the Diego who had taught me to handstand on the edge of a sky scraper “I am so sorry, but I need you too stay with me forever,”

Author notes

I chose creepy murders as my prompt!
Yes, 4 made sense!

The house stands on dreary hill
It stands forlorn, austere, and still

So the scret is that he is a murderer!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    June 14

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    I liked this and the weird, dark twist at the end was a very nice touch. Some grammatical errors here and there, but overall an intriguing tale. Good work and good luck in the contest.



  • I see that you took the title prompt (please include in your author notes) and went in a direction that I totally didn't see. Well done on that.

    Just goes to show that, no matter how cute someone is, it doesn't mean he/she isn't psychotic. This is definitely proof of such.

    Other than a few grammatical things here and there (and stuff you can find by going through spell check), I think you have a very dark, surprising tale. Thank you for entering in my contest. Good luck.

  • I love the secret. This is kind of gross, but it's really good. very creative. this would have been really good for my contest that just ended, called "Heartbreak." The only thing is that I want to know if all of the other girls went through the "don't, can't, want to, go live with him" phase, or if they went through what MIja did. good job.


  • Arcos
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    This was certainly creepy. I think we've all had some crazy partners, but he certainly takes the cake.

    This was good. I liked how fast paced it was. It didn't linger on details and it quickly turned into a nightmare, and in horror, sudden change is usually better than gradual, I think.

    However, a little more detail would have been nice in a few spots. What does Mija look like? What did the panoramic view from the top of his apartment look like? These things would have given better pictures and overall helped the story without ruining the speed of the piece.

    Good work. I like what you've done here.

  • Wow this had such a creepy twist. It was really good and creativer


    Thanks so much for entering my contest!

    -Melissa

  • Wow. That was morbid. I realllllllly loved it. It was just the right kind of creepy with a twist of romance.
    It was boy-meets-girl gone bad.
    Amazing.
    -Chantale
    Thanks for reading the rules and I wish you the best of luck in the contest.

    P.S. Welcome to the finalist's list!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.

  • Amazing! You took a love story and made it horror. Mind blowing. A brilliant turn of events.

  • sad, yet amazing. i think you could become a published author. your descriptions took my breath away, and I saw no grammer or spelling mistakes, even if other did. lol. I'm bad at that kind of thing. Well, cross your fingers. lol.

  • WOW!!! This was wonderful! and sad! and terrifying! It was VERY well written, there were only a few spelling mistakes, but other than that, it was AMAZING!!!!!!

  • As I said in the previous comment, THANK YOU!
    That was AMAZING!

  • THANK YOU!
    This was amazing. I could pick almost ALL of the prompts for this one. It was horror and romance, and you had the most of everything! I LOVED it!


  • Cupcake14
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm...at first I thought it would be a gooey romance, and I'm not the gooey romance kind of person. My curiousity compelled me to see and voila-one of the creepiest stories I've ever read. I could almost here Diego's mad voice. Wonderful story, and wish you gold in all three(Even though I'm entering them too. )


  • MJs-Angel
    May 16
    Edit | Reply
    Creepy...but still great. I hope you win a Gold in all three contests. Great job!

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