He apologizes and I say it's ok. but it's not ok. What he did is not ok. When you apologize you're supposed to do so with the knowledge that you sincerely will not repeat the offense again. He uses "sorry" like an excuse. "I said sorry, so it's ok." Then he makes no attempt to rectify the behavior. I know he's got a disorder, but so do I and I don't let that stand as an excuse for my behavior. Just because it's not my fault doesn't mean I am excused from the responsibility of it. So why is he?1
Why is an apology from him worth so much more than one from me? What, I'm not REALLY sorry? If I said the things he says, he'd flip out; but I have to take it calmly and am not allowed to blow up.2
I have to say it's ok; never having a chance to say what I'm really thinking. I just bury it. Maybe that's why I'm so explosive everywhere else; because I've been forced to be implosive at home all my life.3
He talked to me about common courteousy right after threatening to slap me in the face... ironic, no?4
Author notes
Just a ramble. sorry.
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Comments
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I was in a realtionship like this...I odn't care hat the disorder is...there is NO reason to act the way they do if they aren't willing to get help for it...sorry, my ex was Bipolar...so i really knows how this feels...I'm not with him anymore...I thank the goddess above for that...and i found my angel, but he left me, so im tryingot live life still, but ive honestly lost my will to go on...this is a good write, and i hope it didn't really happen to you, and if it has, hun...you need to get out now while your ahead...no amount of sorries is worht takeing a risk like that....
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This is exactly how I feel at the moment. Not that much of a stoy since it is a ramble, but it's a ramble that I liked reading.
Thanks,
Amanda -
This is interesting, its kind of how I feel about a friend of mine, I think a lot of people feel this, and I truly dont mind the rambling (I do it myself
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