Well, here I sit in this small, dank cell. Brought in just over an hour ago. What's the charge, you say? Murder in the first. Oh yes, dreaded murder, with an even more dreaded instrument. But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me impart upon you the knowledge of this oh, so wretched incident. 1
It was just the other day that it happened, you see. I had just picked up my children of six years and three, and they wanted fish. Not a dog, not a cat, but a fish. So with a sigh I turned off the road, and searched for a full half an hour until we happened upon a small place known as The Fish Place. It sounded alright, so I got out of the car, and walked up to the store. Now, my kids simply would not wait, so they bounced after and followed me, running about the store like two headless chickens. Well, after another hour, we were back in the car. Each child held a bag containing several small goldfish, guaranteed to die within a week, thus saving me. In the trunk lay a tank filled with overly expensive tank items, including a top-of-the-line filter, sparkly gravel, fake plants that looked real, and one of those fish tank castles. I arrived home looking hassled and harried (being rather allergic to fish, myself), and enlisted my husband to do the dirty work of setting up the children's new favorite toy. About twenty minutes later, my husband called me out to see his handy work. I smiled and nodded, then sighed as my three-year-old tugged at the skirt of my business suit. He had accidently swallowed his fish. Then I looked at my six-year-old, and he had accidently squeezed his to death. "We want more fish! We want more fish!" They started to cry. And that's when it hit me: if they can kill their fish, why can't I kill them? So I took up the little plastic castle and the poorly made plastic plants. With a crazy look in my eye, I converged upon the little brats, and...2
And that's how I ended up here. I'm much happier now, though. Never again do I have to look at fish. Of course, you're probably still wondering how exactly I killed them with fish tank ornaments. But really, you must ask yourself something: how many ways are there to kill someone with a plastic castle and fake seaweed?3
Author notes
Um...killer option ^^
This is supposed to be a funny murder, hope you like it!
Update: This story one first place in a contest. ^^ Thank you, eternalhellpit!
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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The word fish is like sheep, it means both singular and plural. ^^
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This was crazy! Pretty funny, though. Just one question. You write that each child held a bag of several goldfish, but once home, you write that each child killed their one goldfish. That doesn't seem to make much sense, so I wanted to point that out to you.
Good job, though.. Good luck. -
yeah, very twisted and strange indeed. and you're right, in a sad, sick way this is kind of funny. I got images of a demented mother stuffing seaweed down kid's throat and beating the other with a castle... lol. thanks for entering, good luck!
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The title drew me into this one and I have to admit I expected random and I wasn't disappointed
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Thanks for all the wonderful comments ^^ I really appreciate it.
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Lol! That's funny in a sick kind of way.
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LOL. Defently twisted and weird. I totally wasn't expecting that outcome. Thanks for sharing and always keep writing. Good luck in the contest. ~Karli~
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cute
cute. good luck with the contest -
ty ^^ it was a great idea for a contest
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just what i was looking for...good luck
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I love it, very twisted 
Good luck to you in the contest
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Wow. This is seriously ate-up in the ninth level of Hell on the fourth dimension of insanity. This makes me look somewhat sane. It's not bad, but really, really, really screwed up.
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