I had a purpose,
I had a dream,
To be successful,
A life that is meaningful.1
I had ambitions,
I had aspirations,
To reach for the sky,
To soar up high.2
Perhaps it is not meant to be,
Circumstances are against me,
Pitiful and pathetic,
Wasn’t what I wanted to be.3
My dreams in ruins,
I am disheartened,
A shell of what I was,
A disgrace to myself.4
Never would’ve forsee,
This consuming misery,
To be so bitter,
I deserve better.5
Crying my hopes away,
No longer a part of me,
The fleeting memory,
Of whom I used to be. 6
Comments
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I really like the way this is written, and it all comes together very well! The content is also very good, and it's a great poem over all =) Well done
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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This is a great piece, I like how you set up your rhyming scale, even dropping the n from forseen to make it rhym a bit more. As much as I like critiquing for spelling I can't seem to read this the same if it were spelled with the n. I know this comes well after this piece was written but well done, it clearly brings images to my mind of emotions and just how real the message is.
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wow, so heartfelt and sad.
it flows really well with the way you have worded this.
this would have to be one of the best poems i have read on here.
well done!
keep up the good work xxx
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WOW
I have to say that unless the poet is Walt Whitman among others of his kind I do not usually like poetry. But I have to say that I am exmtremely happy I read this. I think you did a great job!
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