She sat, and stared at the glistening metal box as if it were the only thing in the world. What harm would it do? Pandora did it and the world changed, but would this be so bad? She scrunched her nose at it with trepidation. She couldn't imagine what such a pretty thing was doing there. She tentatively touched the button without knowledge of what the future holds. Up popped the Jack bouncing merrily, oblivious to her little fingers snapping back or her face taking on an expression similar to his. The little girl giggled and wiggled with glee then pushed the Jack back down with hope filling her eyes.
Author notes
written for contest; The Power of Words. by Neomaxizoondweebie
it's not as "flowery" with description as I was trying for, but I hope it's powerful enough. 
Was going for curiosity and joy.
for contest; Show me what you're made of...in one paragraph by Eyes Pried Open
favorite farm animal; horse
In a list
A contest entry
- The Power of Words. by Neomaxizoondweebie.
350 points, ended May 25, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Show me what you're made of...in one paragraph by DogsLookUp.
1000 points, ended June 17, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I am SO sick of sad stories. by Everpurple.
100 points, ended July 21, 31 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
what did this provoke in you?
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Ah, little kids and their toys...a constant source of wonder.
I thought that was fluffy, cute, and captured the tender moment of an innocent child with her unpredictable Jack. Did I love this story? No, but it was sweet and sometimes you need more of these sugar-coated tales to shake off the morbid ones. One grammatical error I noticed was the comma after "glistening." You don't REALLY need it there, but the sentence is easier to read with the comma placed after sat:
"She sat, staring at the glistening metal box as if it were the only thing in the world."
Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck.
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Yep, that's why I wrote it, was getting very overloaded by the dark stuff I'd been reading lately.
Hmm... I definitely agree with the comma after sat, don't know why I missed it. It's also my understanding that with adjectives a comma is placed after each that are modifying the noun though in this case I suppose glistening can also be used to describe the metal and not just the box, so perhaps it does work better your way. Thanks.
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Awwwwww, this is so very cute. I love it because at first I thought twas jsut another version of Pandora's Box but then it became something fun and sweet.
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Thanks I guess a little misdirection is a good thing.
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I guess if I had paid attention to the background I might have had a clue that it wasn't based on the original.
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maybe, but then you never know on this site.
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true
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adorable.
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I like it, i think its cute =)
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AWW..unfortunately i just gave away my last applause..sorry.
well written, I love how its a jack in the box and how its sooo surprising
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It's enough that you read and commented. Thanks.
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lawl. Nice.
May not have been quite as flowery as it could've been, but it certainly painted a pretty picture of a little girl in my head.
The allusion to Pandora's box was a nice name-drop, too. I liked it.
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it was actually quite powerful for soemthing so simple ^^
Well done, amazing.
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How cute! This effectively provoked...cuteness in me. Hahaha. I wish you best of luck in the contest(and wonder what is going to be the fate of my entry if yours is so good.
)
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hehe... glad you liked it and it provoked cuteness.
And don't worry, I think your fate is better than you think.
(like your username too.)
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Cool childhood thing
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xD How very, very cute! It really is a refreshing change from all of the doom and gloom that the other stories seem to center around. While that's powerful, there has to be something said for a cutesy story that just makes the reader all smiley. I really expected this to end badly, what with the reference to Pandora's Box.
This was quite a joy to read, so thank you for the smile! Best of luck in my contest!
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Thanks I can fully sympathize I just ended a contest with not one happy story even though I said I'd give brownie points for them.
I'm happy you liked it thanks for the comment and applause.
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well its descriptive, and short and to the point. its pretty good all in all. this type of writing, however, would only work in short pieces. the only thing i suggest is to take out pandora reference. if its a little girl narrorating then how would she know about mythology?
but thats just my two cents on it.
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Thanks, actually I was imagining it was the child's parent watching the child play with the new toy.
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Hi toni!
This no doubt a very curious and wonderful discription of a joy a little one can feel. i must say this is creative Toni. good job dear keep it up. good luck sweetie.
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Thank you dear.
I'm glad you think so.
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Awesome! I thought you wrote this quite well for only using ten lines. It was entertaining and cute. Haha.
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Thanks.
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awwwwww, thats cute XD little kids are always curiose no matter what X3
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Thanks Yeah, the wee little ones like that always amaze me.
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