It was 11:05pm. He was late, very late. The young girl sat in her moonlit room. She rocked back and forth in the middle of her made bed. Hugging her legs to her chest, she crumpled the thin cotton with her heavy boots, and watched the red numbers on the clock. Her green ski jacket was bulky around her lanky frame, and she was hot underneath it. This irritated her. She decided she would look in the mirror one more time, but still nothing. Only her mean reflection; the plain, straight haired, mousey girl, staring back at her. She thought about trying what he had taught her, and started to say the words when it suddenly happened, that hot feeling in her chest, turning into a gaggle of a million flying insects inside her, pulling her towards the light that now shined through, red and gleaming, where the mirror just was. She gave into the uncomfortable, cutting feeling, which she had imagained must be similar to giving birth. She held her breath, strode across the room, and plunged into the light to his waiting white soft paws on the other side. Then she finally smiled.
Author notes
fantasy/running late for something
A contest entry
- Just one paragraph... by tallblondie.
450 points, ended May 23, 30 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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You have the makin's of a story teller but like many of us when we begin you need more drama in the write for example; in the opening lines you might have written it as follows. "Glancing at the clock, he's late she thought, very late indeed. She hugged her legs, rocking to the rythm of her heartbeat, as she sat, entranced by the moonlight spilling thru the window, filling the empty gloom with an eerie glow.
Just a thought.
Happy trails. -
Interesting use of the two prompts - especially taking the 'running late' prompt and applying it to someone the main character is waiting for. The description is fantastical - and serves to give this piece a mystical atmosphere.
Thank you for your entry in Just one paragraph... -
Very interesting and cool. You said a heap in one paragraph alright. Good job here darlin' ... keep them coming.
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Thanks, man. I'll try
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