1
"hey keeva do your thing and get us out of here like now!"Jiro growled. Kitto said " say please." Keeva sighed and then closed her eyes well the eye you could see. The guard enered and instead of 3 helpless prisoners he found 2 prisoners and a soft bit of dirt more like quicksand really. As the shocked man gaped at them Keeva gagged him and the ground became stone trapping him.23
2 hours later... "The mission was a success while we were trappped we got the information"Jiro bragged. "you mean Keeva got the the information while you were sleeping"Kitto corrected. "What kinda twin are you!"he yelled. As the twins were fighting Keeva walked off and bumped into her crush Neji Hyuga who was angry of course. "watch it don't you have eyes."he said. "yes i do if you weren't blind you would have seen them."she said before walking off, if Neji had looked at her face as she left he would have seen the blush on her face. leave it to me to have crush that's rude as hell she thought before she went to sleep.4
Comments
-
Good in General
Lol. Poor Keeva. I'd say good start, except try to fix a few errors, like when people speak, try something like;
"Watch it. Don't you have eyes?", he said. "Yes, I do. If you weren't blind you would have seen them.", she said before walking off. If Neji...
But It's still understandable, so I think it's pretty good as far as the plot goes, just some grammar mistakes/capitalization, that kind of thing.
Adding your comment:
