So Much Blood

Horns were blaring, screams going unnoticed to his ears, deafened by the consequential ringing caused from the impact his head made with the windshield, cracking it in a complex, spidery web. His hands where shaking, unable to be brought under control. His heart racing, his breathing shallow and fast, he fumbled with the door handle of the car. Stepping out into the sun he did not see the crowd around him as his eyes were only able to take in the blood, so much blood, and the body of the man on the street. There was so much blood, how could his body hold that much blood? The man was dead. That could be seen quite clearly from the lack of the natural rise and fall of his chest. The driver fell to his knees, looked around at the blood, all that blood, and collapsed, only to wake up several hours later in a hospital bed....1

AUTHORS NOTES!2

Accidental Death and Horror. thats my pairing

A contest entry

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  • tallblondie gold member
    May 23

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    You've used the two prompts well in this piece - the aftermath of the accident - and the emotional impact on the main character are captured well. If anything, I would recommend - for sheer impact - removing the following sections:

    'That could be seen quite clearly from the lack of the natural rise and fall of his chest.' - preceeding sentence sums this up - and this part is simply redundant.

    'only to wake up several hours later in a hospital bed' - this moves the paragraph to a new scene - for full impact, just ending the paragraph with 'collapsed' is sufficient.

    Thank you for your entry in Just one paragraph...