Sweet Water (Prologue)

Prologue1

The river is quiet tonight; whispering in hushed noises as the water laps up onto the bank, refreshing the dirt. I find that I feel crowded and lonely, too soft and too strong, too focus and too forlorn. I feel like everyone else and that alone, is enough to make my skin tight. I feel just as anyone else, with all those weaknesses and all those notions of guilt that can drive a man insane. I feel alone, invisible and defenseless like a poor base. With just these forest folk to keep me company, the echo of outskirt life embedding trails in my mind and I find that I am unable to move away from the wolf's howling. It calls to me in every way imaginable and yet, still, I pull away from it, afraid the wolf will consume me. Afraid of the hated that runs like life through me, afraid for no reason, simply afraid. The howling seeps into my veins and bleeds in my soul. I feel the bloodlust in the marrow of my bones; feel the snap of a rubber band in my mind. Then, oceans pull back and silence fills the leaves. I am alone...2

His presence is heavy on my back, every cell tightening into knots. "Do you want to know where she is??" His voice feels clean and smooth, like metal. Exactly like metal. "Where you left her? Left her behind? Behind to die?" The coldness of his words hit me hard as Russian blizzards. No thoughts come, no blood rushes, all my feelings freeze into that absolute benumbing sensation of death. Hard as titanium, the words crawl under my skin, that heaviness pulling me down against the Earth, my every sensation leaking into the soil, like rainfall. 3

“You’re here to die, aren’t you, Pup,” Like a snake charmer, he motions around me, like liquid in a beautiful dance, quick as lightning, gentle as cotton. I soak it in like a deprived man, waiting for his liquid movement to come and shred me apart, for him to come and lap up my blood like a dog. Waiting. “You’re here because you know I’d be here,” not of word can satisfy me, not a word can shift me, not a word can make me move. “I’m a kindly creature, you know,” his words flow so easily, so fluidly and with such charisma, the gravity of him holds me here. “And as a kindly and gentle creature, I will, of course, fulfill your wish.” 4

It’s an odd feeling, wanting to die. Every fiber of my being pulls away from the notion, sickened by nature of my depravity, sickened by my stillness, sickened by the lack of fear. 5

Until now, I realize, I haven’t set an eye on him. When my eyes do indeed find him, my heart miss a thud, bile raises in my throat and all of the color rushes out of me. That, of course, is the first reaction of it. The second part, anger rockets through my muscles and I find I am so enraged that even my eyes feel as if they are burning. Not a single thought crosses my mind beside to rip him apart, limb by limb. Watch him suffer, watch him burn for his crime. I want to kill him. There is no guilt, there are no precautions, there are no sentiments, there is only hate, and there is only bloodlust. There in his arms he holds the most delicate angel, his muscled arms tight around her and she looks like a limp doll of silk. That deep rooted hate fills me indefinitely and the world burns red. In seconds, my world changes and I am that black beast of nightmares, that heavy devil of Dante’s rings. With my teeth bared, with my muscles tight as stretched springs, my entire world depends on this moment, on the dissolving situation. I see my life flash before my eyes. 6

Before I have time to act, before I can shred the monster apart…I jump from my bed, thoroughly sweated and tight like overstretched elastic, my heart beating so hard, so fast, my chest pulsates in reaction. 7

These dreams haunt me, the cover my skin in gloss, obsess my mind with clutter until I feel like a stranger in my own skin. I lay there, pinned to my bed by my own nature and own nightmares, by the anger in my heart, by the serenity of that angel’s face. I feel her like a feather in my mind. 8

Author notes

This is Sweet Water. It's a story about a werewolf.

Sweet Water
Chapter One: Rain

A contest entry

Comment, please.

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Mistress Cheetah
    October 14
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    I love your expression! Good work!


  • Wickedruby1 gold member
    October 13
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    Interesting

    This piece needs some attention to puncutation. The center subject is strong and might make a good story.

  • martial artist
    October 12
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    the story was different but good


  • Sheilasbabygal4life
    September 22

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    This was very interesting and very enjoyable to read. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest!!


  • MusicOfTheNight9
    July 27

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    Great! I really liked the description, and the way you kept the tension was fantastic! really great job! I like the idea, it is very... captivating and I can't wait to read more! Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest!

    Kudos,
    CreaterSk8er


  • toolenduso
    July 16

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    Wow. I am honestly surprised at just how unique this story is given the subject matter. A+ for creativity. I also like the style, the cryptic, darkened feeling given off by the narrative...

    So thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest!

    Style: 9/10
    Flow: 8/10
    Uniqueness: 5/5
    Readability: 5/7
    Effect: 8/10
    Lack of Errors: 3/3
    Personal Score: 4/5
    Total: 42/50

  • chessie
    May 18

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    :)

    I love your title. It is really mysterious and tells you nothing about what is coming. It was gripping.


  • Violette silver member
    May 17

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    Great description

    I loved the title- I had no idea what to expect. Great description and style of writing; I have put you up with the other finalists. Just be careful, there are a LOT of werewolf stories out there, make sure yours stays original.


  • beutifullcloud
    May 16

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    cool! is was so dak and sinister, and to be honest i thought the story had strated with some thing like that but it turn out to be a dream, I like that


  • Marisalyn13
    May 15

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    Mysterious

    It was mysterious like edward from twilight (thats a good thing) and I really enjoyed this well written master peice. Thnkyou for eentering good luck in my contest


  • xrainbowajx
    May 12
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    -jazz hands- mysterious

    good, mysterious, interesting, and compelling. i could get into one like this and im usually thumbs down with young agults, but this is good.


  • rettalee
    May 11

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    Very good.

    This almost reminds me of what I am working on.. I love stuff like this, you descibe very well, Im jelous. Dreams are a fantastic way to start a story!

1 - 13 of 13