Title not descide yet, and not finished

There we stood. The man who murdered my family and me. I knew that this would be my only opportunity to take him down. But he was much stronger than me. I couldn't rely on brute force to take him out. I was going to have to make a move....and fast.1

I quickly swept my eyes over the whole room. A crowbar, fire log,and metal weight were all with in five meters. All I had to do was get past him. 2

"You should really give up kid. I'm a master killer. You really think a talentless pipsqueak like yourself is gonna get past me?" He stepped out a bit and guarded his stance. The element of surprise wasn't going to help me, but I was smaller and quicker. If I could just-3

I darted to the left near the crowbar, he lunged at me just as I swerved to the right. I sprinted toward the weight. With all my strength I picked it up and swung it wildly. A deep grunt echoed of the cellar's walls, telling me that I had hit my target. I walked over to the crowbar and gripped it tightly. In my head the faces of my family swam. Their ghosts egged me on. Everyone from my Grandpa Louis to itty bitty Ara, who was only five years old. I was going to kill me. I measure my steps carefully. I would take no chance of him catching my ankles. When at last I stood over him, I raised the weapon high above my head. The bastard's eyes opened and narrowed at his vision focused on me. He even had the nerve to smile. I gritted my teeth. "Rot in hell fucker."4

I would have succeeded, had it not been for an accomplice. I heard a gun shot behind me. instinctively I turned to see the danger. In that moment my legs were yanked from underneath me. I rested on pure air before my head made contact with the concrete floor. Tears streamed into my eyes. I was numb, but my brain and nerves still knew that it hurt. He was up too quickly, kicking the iron bar from my reach. HE crouched over me. As he slowly knelt,I thought a flicker of compassion could be seen in his cold green eyes. But it was a trick of the light, for he pulled a small white napkin from his pocket and chuckled. 5

"You know what comes next right? Sleepy time." I tried to wiggle but my limbs didn't respond. Panic filled me though, as the white silencer covered my nose and mouth. He held it down firmly, starring straight into my eyes; he would be the last thing i would see. Mom, I'm sorry. I shivered as his unnaturally soft knuckles smeared the tears from my eyes. "Next time you plan on killing someone; don't hesitate. It could mean your life, kiddo." 6

I wanted to insult him but the oxygen was thinning in my body. My eyes fluttered and asphyxia began to set in. The the black clouds grew just as the thunder rolled.7

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I woke up in the back of a large vehicle, the kind that civilians weren't allowed to drive. We were in the mountains. I can't see, but the way a car rides on roads, dirts, and over rocky ground is distinguishable from the others. Not to mention the smell of oak and pine. As I open my eyes, I learn that it would've been no use. My vision is handicapped by a blind fold. 8


My heart was still beating like a drum when the two men opened the rear of the car. I was pulled from the backseat and lead into an apartment building. The grip of the guard was so strong that my small frame had no chance what so ever to resist. I asked them frequently where they would take her...why they had captured me ...what they would do to me. I was afraid, my body was shivering and as much as I wanted to shout as soon as I was be out of the car...in this moment my throat resisted. It was like a giant hand was pressing my chest. Tears of frustration ran down my cheeks.

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Comments

  • I liked this. I can't judge it until it's finished though. I'll write a more lengthy comment once it's done. Until then, good job so far.

  • Omg this was amazing.
    I loved the detail and you can tell by reading it that you took time to play it out like it was happening right there in front of you as you wrote it. I loved the last paragraph. It was so detailed and you actually felt the emotion of the person being kidnapped. I usually don't like stories like this, but you made it work. =]
    3 clappys for you!!!
    Love ya, Rae!!! ^^
    -Becky-