She stood over him, feeding him the skin of his oozing genitals, the victim now the killer.1
His eyes taped open, he couldn’t look anywhere other than her smiling face as she said, “Think you’ll ever rape anyone again?”2
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She never thought she’d really do it. she had made plans, thought about it so much it had been her favorite obsession.4
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The first one was hard. Once she had him in the basement she faltered, just like she did before a fight, then she dove right in.6
Examining the tools she had acquired from working in the hospitals, she chose a scalpel. The pervert began to stir. “Good,” she thought. “I won’t have to wake it up. It must be conscious for the whole process.”7
She went to her recording station and pushed record. And she began the cleansing. 8
The man on the table had begun to stir and move, his eyes fluttering now, squinting in the glare of the bare bulb. She stood right behind his head and took a piece of duck tape off the roll and tapped his eye open then the other eye.9
The man began to panic now, he started speaking, “What... what are you doing, who are you...?” She remained silent. She had decided before she started that she wouldn’t speak to it. She had made this decision for several reasons. One, she believed it did not deserve to know what was going on. Another was silence is more terrifying than a screaming lunatic. Plus she didn’t want her voice on the recording. 10
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She moved down to stand near his crotch. His nude body covered in goosebumps, had started to shake. When her gloved hands touched him he suddenly became still. This did not last long, however, for when he saw the flash of the scalpel he began to thrash violently. She sighed, put down the scalpel, and moved to tighten the restraints. They were simple enough, his hands and feet bound and pulled taunt at either end of the cold steel table. She decided to reinforce these two ropes with two more. One over his chest and tied it tightly to the side. The second rapped over his thighs, so he couldn’t move his legs. “Good,” she thought. “Now it can’t move at all.” 12
The man on the table began to whimper and snivel. She picked up her scalpel again and, beginning at the base of the penis began to cut up towards the head. By now the man is screaming and weeping, she paused, looked down into his taped eyes and smiled. Going back to her work she slit down the other side, cutting just deep enough so that she would be able to peel the skin. “Oh,” she thought, “ if only it knew what I have in store for it.” She laughed a little to herself, smiling as she worked.13
Author notes
i've been thinking about this story for a long time and finally decided to write it
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I was reading this again, as I'm about to actually check out the next part. I thought if you changed [She never thought she’d really do it. she had made plans, thought about it so much it had been her favorite obsession.4] and made it above [She stood over him....] it would increase the credibility of the story as well as improve the flow of what you're trying to say. This is just a suggestion. I'm off to read the next chapter to find out what happens!!!
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paragraph 10, 'Another was silence is more terrifying than a screaming lunatic.' try reworking this, it seems a bit clumsy and i think a comma might help.
there seem to be a few inconsistancies as to calling the rapist him and it. at least that is in paragraph 13.
also when you have her thinking, differentiate it from the rapist speaking, maybe italics or 'these'. good job. -
i hope you're going to continue with this.
even though you don't have her speaking you could have her thinking her reasons for what she is doing. what's her motivation? is she a survivor? is she a friend of a survivor? is she just a psychopath chasing released convicts? more detailing would help answer these questions.
that aside this is well written. I would like to hear in more details what she does though and explain the expression on the guy's face. the fear, anger. strain.. that sort of thing -
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thank you
i'm working on the next sections
it delves into some personal issues you see she is me i haven't done this yet
but if i had separet identity i would
anyways i guess i might post what i have writing more might be thereputic
sorry for the miss spellings
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Jesus Christ
I think that is the only one that can save anyone who would cross you. It's pretty tough to psyche me out. This did it. I never thought I could be so creeped out by an abuse story. Your descriptiveness is amazing and somehow you get into the mind of the woman so well. She is quite clearly insane but in a rational way. I am amazed at your skill to portray this character.beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Scary
Wow, I loved it! I like how you referred to the victim as "it" giving it no personification what so ever because of it's atrocities. Brilliant work.
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twisted
nice story. i hope to read more of it soon. very interesting way to start off.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, overall: 7, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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it's kinda my life goal now all i have to do is get the guts to do it and figure out how not to get caught- i have no desire to go to jail because i took care of problem in the justice system
thanks for the comment
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this woman is creepy and yet I can see where this could happen. Interesting.
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thank you
i am actully a huge silence of the lambs fan and did derive inspiration from that and hannible
this is a possible life goal for me... to kill people like that- the rapist and what not, not people like hannible lector- he's a fuckin genuis -
This is very interesting with shades of "Silence of the Lamb". The mind of your character is just out of the serial killers files. Excellent work. Just beautiful.
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Fantastically Sickening
Thanks for commenting on my story- i'll be posting the second part in about ten mins. I really wasn't sure about it so your support means the worrld to me.
This piece is awesome- even being a woman it certainly made me cringe. Perfectly executed, I particullarly like the way you play with time and the way she refers to him as "it!" Excellent work. Good luck in the contest! Jen xxx -
thank you
if you ever here of this type of thing happening, it's me -
HOLY CRAP! I have to have more more more LOL I took out the rule where you can only have 2 max. so please feel free to enter the rest I have to know what happens
I f only that could be the penalty for rape >:L I bet people wouldn't do it as much...they would be stupid if they did 
anyway I hope to see another/more chapter/s
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thanks i'm working on it
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Ooooooooooooooooooooh...very evil and messed up, but very interesting too. *claps* Now you better hurry up and get the second part up here!
~ Lady ~ -
this was amazing babe!
i absolutely loved it and i cant wait for the next installment, that means write fast, dont leave me hanging. it was great!!!!!! ~taylor
Edited on Jul 15, 7:57 p.m. because 'typo'.
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