A Modest Proposal

A Modest Proposal: 1

Solution to Decrease the Surplus Population2

Charles Dickens made a wonderful point that there are prisons and poor houses to support the poor, and his character Ebenezer Scrooge did not have to, in his book A Christmas Carol. In today’s economy parents have just enough money to support their children. However, supporting their children’s children is stretching it. Schools across America are continuously having the debate of whether or not the school should provide condoms should a child need them. While these people are stuck in their little conference rooms trying to decide there are children getting pregnant every day. Nationally, more than half of the teenage populations abstain from sex only until they are 17. Now, with the exception of morals, this is not a big issue. However, out of all those teens, about 1 million become pregnant every year. That is close to 2,800 teen pregnancies a day. Not to mention the rise in spreading sexually transmitted diseases. In the United States, 1 in 4 teens will be infected with a sexually transmitted disease. All of these numbers could significantly decrease if teenagers across America used protection. If schools merely had the sources available they would have no excuse not to get them. Unfortunately, the school system decides to ignore the simple solution and still get angry for the teenagers getting pregnant and spreading disease. Allow me to propose a solution. If we are so worried about our children having children at such a young age why don’t we completely prevent them from getting pregnant? It seems at this point in time, the only reasonable solution is castration.* 3

Now, castrating the whole population would eventually kill us all if we couldn’t reproduce. However, by carefully looking over family histories, to make sure the most fertile remain “whole” we can easily make sure the population prevails. It’s a lottery, but like organ donors you could opt for your children to be castrated knowing you’d be doing a service to your country. It would also be reassuring to parents, who are strongly against teenage pregnancies, that their child will not be having children at such a young age.4

Say at birth (much like circumcision) the doctors take one third of the males and two thirds of the females (because there are more women than men in the United States) and castrate them. If not at birth once they are healthy enough the operation will be preformed. By solving the problem at such a young age, schools have absolutely no worries about contraception, because there will be nothing to prevent. Schools will no longer have the discussions of condoms because they will be irrelevant. Without teenage pregnancy to worry about the school system can concentrate on other more important academic issues. We can’t stop children from being sexually active but pregnancy will no longer be a concern. 5

Only 39% of teenagers in the United States have jobs. However, with the increase in teenage pregnancy there is an increase in dropout rates because teenagers must take care of their children. In order to do so they must find jobs. In this economy there aren’t enough jobs for the adults, never mind the irresponsible pregnant teenagers. By castrating our children we end up benefiting the economy. If teenagers aren’t having children they won’t need to find jobs which will open the market to adults.6

By not having children the dropout rate will decrease because teenagers will be able to focus on their studies instead of their infants. By remaining in school they will become more intelligent, motivating them to go to college. Essentially, not only will we benefit the economy but we will become a smarter class of people because we were able to stay in school. This will help us as a country to rise from this recession we are in.7

You may ask: What about those who are not castrated? Of course not everyone will be castrated because, again, we need to continue reproducing so that we don’t die off. Therefore, I propose the reissue of an old friend, the chastity belt. It kept woman from having children in the medieval era; it can keep teenagers from having children now. As a graduation present, instead of a car as the symbol of freedom, they can be presented with the key to their belt. It seems more than reasonable.8

Of course, the authorities who run the schools could just wise up and distribute contraception to students. It would make everyone’s lives easier. Teenage boys would not be embarrassed by having to walk into a convenient store and buy contraception. Not to mention more children would stay in school because they are not labored by taking care of their own child, therefore the school would be benefiting. STDs would be a smaller concern as well. However, there are thousands of schools that refuse to distribute condoms because they believe it is encouraging their student to take part in sexual activity. If so many schools refuse such a simple solution, then simple obviously isn’t the way to solve this problem.9

So I ask you, why not just teach good morals in schools? Instead of having “Sex Education” where children learn how to properly use condoms (that the school won’t provide), teach the good morals of abstinence. Why doesn’t the “scarlet letter” exist anymore? If teenagers are told not to have sex, pregnancy proves they are, so why not ridicule them. Morals, and the words of the Bible used to mean so much but they have gone down the drain. Yet another practical reason that can’t work because the majority of teenagers no longer care about what is right and wrong. The fear of God cannot scare them if they do not believe in him.10

Some people may not agree with me, but I’m not looking to argue. It is clear that trying simple solutions do not work. Nevertheless, I find if performed properly castration can be just as simple of a solution. I myself do not have to worry about being put under the knife because I am not an infant, and therefore cannot be considered for this procedure. Not to mention the fact that more females in the United States would have decreased my chances as well. Castration ceases the decision of the school system, comfort the minds of parents, improve the economy, and more. I cannot see how anyone would disagree with this proposal.11

*Medically the term castration refers to both sexes unlike the social term that is used only for males.12