Dream House

Part 1:1

It was a cold November night, it was almost 12am. So I figured it was time to go to bed. I walked to my bed layed down under the my nice warm cloth quilt my mother had made me before she passed away 3 months ago.2

I feel into a deep sleep,I woke up I was no longer at my house, but at this Mansion,nothing like my 1 story house with 3 bedrooms and 1 bath.3

I walked down the hall, and I saw a man. He was sitten in a rocking chair, rocking back and forths, he was wearing a mask. I asked him to remove it and thats when he did, I saw his face. It was all scars! I screamed at horrific image I saw in front of me. I fell to the floor crying and screaming, "WHAT IS THIS PLACE WHERE AM I AND WHEN DO I GET TO GO HOME" The man said "Hush my dear! My name is Josh, I am 29 years old, I'm an old friend of your moms, she told me to take good care of you, and to make sure you get punished for all your actions!" Now come here my Darling,then he kissed my lips.. Me only being 17 Im scared and crying by this point. He said its ok, just obey everything I say or your worst nightmare will soon become real. Thats when I screamed "IM ONLY 17! IM SCARED! WHAT MUST I DO TO EVER GET OUTTA THIS PLACE I MISS MY DAD DOSE HE KNOW IM HERE!" Your father is gone. "GONE WHERE!" I screamed. Thats for me to know and you to find out, Said Josh. "Please tell me where my Dad is.. and my sister where is she.? Your father is gone! Your sister is dead! Its me and you now! Don't you get it! Your family no longer cares for you!Thats when I fell to the floor crying :'( WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS! He said go back to your room put on the dress hanging in the corner and meet me back in here! Hurry now! Before I punish you.I walked down the hall,looking at all the detail on the walls, there I saw pictures of me and my family hanging on it. I started bailing! I was so scared and who was this man! I got to my room, put on the dress, it was red and puffy! Like a princess dress, I walked back out to where he was he told me I haft to listen to everything he says.. Thats when he took me by the hand, we walked outside and we were standing there he turned away thats when I took off running towards the highway! He ran after me caught me and said THATS IT YOUR PUNISHMENT IS AWAITING YOUNG LADY! Thats when he took me inside and..................4

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Comments


  • July 21, 2005
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    Spooky! I think you should split your work into more paragraphs. Each time a new person speaks you begin another paragraph. Don't forget quotation marks and punctuation. Great job, though. I like the idea behind it. I can't wait to read more of your stories!

  • amyanne
    July 12, 2005
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    wow frieky, you've out done ur self again blake....i wanna read more and check spelling u got a few spelling errors but other than that this is vrey good i want to see part 2!