Soo Jin sniffled. “I don't think you should be going out today.” her grandmother said.1
“Halmoni,” she protested, using the proper respectful term for her grandmother. “I want to show Song Hee my new dress and shoes.”2
“The weather doesn’t look good,” her halmoni answered. 3
“I won't be gone long,” the 12 year old answered. “Please let me go. She's always bragging about everything her mom buys her.”4
Her halmoni continued tying the strap in the front of Soo Jin’s new hanbok. “Well, the new dress your mom bought you is certainly pretty,” she said.5
Soo Jin looked down at the new yellow hanbok with the silk strap on its top now perfectly tied in place. She smiled as she lifted the bottom of her long skirt and looked beneath the hand painted designs on its hems to the delicate new white shoes on her feet. “I think it's prettier than anything Song Hee has,” she beamed. 6
With that, she wheeled to the edge of the porch in front her her halmoni’s door, and hopped down the short step to the ground. Her grandmother smiled as Soo Jin quickly ran out the gate.7
Soo Jin skipped down the dirt road toward the little field where the girls often gathered to pick flowers and play. She stopped briefly as she came to the edge of the wide, shallow creek that separated the block of houses where her halmoni lived from the main part of the town and the field. She lifted her new dress a few inches and skillfully skipped across the stepping stones that had been carefully placed to allow for crossing without spoiling one's shoes. 8
Once on the other side, she looked over to see several neighborhood boys playing in their normal place near the crossing. Tae Soo, one of the poorest of these boys stood and stared at her. 9
“Why does he always stare at me?” she thought to herself. She paused and examined him. His clothes were well worn and stained. His face was dirty as was not uncommon to the boys after roughhousing here. His tattered shoes were sewn together with leather thongs. “He's a strong boy,” Soo Jin thought to herself. “But he's such a poor boy.” 10
She smiled in spite of herself at his obvious admiration, but then she caught herself. She drew her smile back, turned her nose up slightly, and continued on to her normal play place pretending to not notice Tae Soo's eyes following her.11
Arriving beside the field of fully bloomed gaenari, she pranced proudly before the girls there. “See what my mom bought me?” she asked as she spun to display all sides of her new hanbok. “Isn't it pretty?” she asked. “The patterns are all hand painted.”12
“It's beautiful,” one of her friends said.13
“I think it's ugly,” another voice piped up.14
Soo Jin stopped and faced this new voice. “It's prettier than anything you have!” she said as she recognized Song Hee.15
“Hah!” Song Hee smirked. “Yellow is so ugly. My mom would never buy me a yellow dress.”16
Soo Jin drew her mouth tight and wrinkled her forehead slightly. “Yellow is my favorite color,” she retorted. “And besides, my mom bought it and she's a designer. She knows what's pretty.”17
“Hmmp,” Song Hee answered. “At least my mom's here. She doesn't send me away to live with my halmoni.”18
Soo Jin opened her mouth, then stopped under the sting of that remark. She blinked, determined not to let the tears that began to spring up show. “I'm only here during break!” she snapped. “My mom works hard, too.”19
“That's because your dad is too poor.”20
“My dad is not poor!” 21
“Hmmp,” Song Hee said again. “If he wasn’t poor, your mom wouldn’t have to work,” she said as she turned her back to walk away.22
Soo Jin's eyes drew up and her breath quickened. She moved to follow Song Hee, but Jung Ha, one of her friends, moved in front of her. “Let her go,” Jung Ha whispered. “Nobody likes her anyway. Everybody knows how stuck up she is.”23
Soo Jin watched as Song Hee strutted, nose obviously lifted, back toward the crossing point in the creek. Soo Jin sniffled, dropped her head, turned and walked to the edge of the play area. For a while, Jung Ha stayed and spoke with her, but soon, Soo Jin was left by herself. 24
She stopped and looked at the sea of yellow gaenari flowers in the field beside her favorite play spot. She stooped and picked one. She held it beside her new dress and admired the flower’s delicate beauty. Its color matched the skirt of her hanbok almost exactly. Pleased with this, she stooped and began examining the flowers closest to her. Carefully and meticulously she began picking a bouquet of only the most perfectly formed gaenaris. 25
A tingle went down Soo Jin's spine. She lifted her head first and looked across the field of gaenari. She listened, it was totally quiet except for the sound of a few birds on some unseen perch. She turned her head. There, a polite distance away, Tae Soo stood watching her.26
Soo Jin turned her head back to the flowers pretending to not notice him, but Tae Soo continued to watch her every move. He approached to where he could speak comfortably and know she heard, but not close enough to make her feel crowded.27
“Is that a new dress?” Tae Soo spoke sweetly.28
“Yes,” Soo Jin answered without taking her attention from the flowers before her.29
“It's very pretty.”30
Soo Jin strained to keep from softening. She knew her father would not approve of her making friends with a poor boy such as Tae Soo, but his gentle compliment soothed the sting inflicted by Song Hee's remarks.31
“Song Hee didn't like it,” Soo Jin replied.32
“Song Hee's not very smart,” Tae Soo said.33
Soo Jin stopped now and faced him. She had never expected such a blunt answer about the wealthy girl from this shy boy who had never actually found the nerve to speak to her before. “Why do you say that?” Soo Jin asked. 34
“I know her,” Tae Soo answered. “She's hateful, but she's just hateful because she's trying to hide the fact that she's not too smart.” He paused expecting a response, but Soo Jin only stared. “She's also jealous because she knows she's not as pretty as you.”35
Soo Jin smiled now, almost forgetting the worn clothing and dirty face of the boy who spoke to her. “You think I'm pretty?” she asked.36
Tae Soo dropped his stare for a moment as if gathering his courage. It was improper for him to be this forward, but after a moment, he raised his gaze once again with a new look of determination. “Yes,” he said. “I think you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen.”37
Soo Jin smiled in spite of herself, but quickly remembered to whom she was speaking. She drew her mouth up again, and resumed her haughty demeanor. 38
“Has your father promised you to anyone?” Tae Soo asked abruptly.39
Soo Jin blinked. Her mouth dropped slightly. “Why are you asking that?”40
“A lot of girls are promised by the time they are your age.”41
“Why would I tell you?”42
“If you’re not promised, I want my dad to talk to your dad.”43
Soo Jin threw back her head and laughed slightly. “My dad says he’s going to find a rich man in Seoul for me. I’m going to be married to a rich man! You’re not rich.”44
Tae Soo dropped his eyes and sighed. “I can talk to my dad. We can go to Seoul, and I’ll start working now. I can be rich.”45
Soo Jin sighed. The sniffle that had originally almost prevented her day’s excursion began now to burn in her head. She began to realize that she was not feeling well, but this attention from Tae Soo intrigued her even if his persistence did frustrate her. She raised her bouquet of gaenari and smiled at Tae Soo.46
“Do you think these look good with my new dress?” she asked.47
“They’re everywhere,” Tae Soo said roughly. “I see them all the time, but you’re the prettiest girl I know.”48
Soo Jin dropped her hands and looked at the ground. Was that a compliment? Or did he not like her taste in flowers? She considered it for a moment. She raised her head again, and glanced both ways down the road in front of her. She was not feeling well, and wanted to go home, but at the same time, she did not want to lose the attention of the persistent, but poor boy. Such attention would certainly bring down her father’s disapproval, but there was an excitement when he complimented her, and a soothing of the pride that Song Hee always injured. 49
Without a word, or even a glance at her young suitor, Soo Jin began walking, but instead of walking back toward her grandmother’s house, she walked toward the fields in the opposite direction.50
Tae Soo turned to walk beside her, careful to give her enough room so as to not make her uncomfortable, nor to break any protocol.51
Soo Jin turned her head away from her follower and smiled, careful to not let him see. 52
Silently, Tae Soo walked beside her, and silently Soo Jin continued on.53
A sprinkle hit Soo Jin on her cheek. She looked at the sky. The clouds which had blanketed the sky that day now began to look ominous. Her sniffle had become a headache, and fatigue now began to fill her limbs. Attention or not, she needed to get home, and the promise of rain now made that more urgent. 54
Soo Jin turned and began walking back up the clay road toward the little village. Tae Soo reversed his course and stayed in his place across the road from the object of his adoration. 55
As they continued along the road through the now dry and harvested fields, the rain began to fall in earnest. 56
“No!” Soo Jin exclaimed, looking down at the wet spots appearing on her new dress. 57
Forgetting all protocol, Tae Soo grabbed her by the hand. “Come with me!” he shouted. “I’ll keep you dry.”58
Soo Jin ran beside him into the field beside them. Tae Soo led her to a pyramid stack of straw in the middle of the field. Skillfully, he pulled back a sheaf on one side revealing a small hollowed spot in the middle of the stack. He stood to one side, and motioned to Soo Jin. “My friends and I play here. We made this. It’s really dry.”59
On cue, she entered the hollowed spot. It was just large enough for one person to sit comfortably.60
Tae Soo stood at the entrance, his back respectfully toward Soo Jin as if guarding her from any possible intrusion.61
Soo Jin’s head was pounding now. The occasionally drip through the straw stung and chilled when it hit her skin. She began shivering. The misery of her fever and the anxiety of being trapped out were too much now. Tears filled her eyes. Sobs began to force their way to the surface.62
Tae Soo stuck his head into the play fortress. Sympathy showed on his dripping face. He smiled, but Soo Jin did not return his smile.63
“Are you getting your new dress wet?” he offered.64
“No,” Soo Jin sobbed. “I’m sick, and I’m cold. I just want to get back to halmoni’s house.”65
Tae Soo withdrew his head from the entrance and looked up. He stuck his head in once again and said, “It’s still pouring. You’ll get your new dress really wet.”66
“I don’t care,” Soo Jin wept.67
“Okay, then take my hand, and I’ll help you home.”68
Soo Jin dropped her bouquet of carefully selected gaenari and took Tae Soo’s hand. She ran out into the rain beside the poor boy in well worn clothing. Down the road they ran together toward the town. Soo Jin’s lungs burned and her skin stung as she pressed on through the fever that was now overtaking her.69
They ran in the pouring rain to the little river where Soo Jin had crossed perhaps two hours earlier. The stream was now swollen out of its banks and flowing angrily. Its normally clear water was now muddy and filled with debris from its banks.70
Tae Soo looked at Soo Jin. “I don’t think you can cross.” He shouted above the noise of the rain, wind, and running water. “Maybe you can come to my house until the river goes back down.”71
“I can’t!” Soo Jin protested weakly. “Halmoni … “72
Tae Soo nodded knowingly. He looked down at Soo Jin’s new white shoes barely visible beneath her full dress. They were now splattered with the clay from the road. He looked again at the increasing fury of the stream before them. He walked in front of Soo Jin and bent over.73
“Get on my back,” he shouted. “I’ll carry you u-boo-ba. Your shoes are too pretty to wade through that water.”74
The burning in her chest and pain in her head weakened Soo Jin to the point of no resistance. Without a word, she leapt onto Tae Soo’s back and clung to him. 75
Tae Soo waded into the raging water. Soo Jin felt his body tense. Every step was a careful search for a solid footing, and a struggle with balance. He waded on into the river. The water which normally trickled only a few inches deep now slurped angrily around mid thighs. Soo Jin lifted her feet slightly to keep her new shoes out of the muddy slurry.76
Tae Soo’s breathing became heavier and his body shaky as he continued to fight for each step while holding his precious cargo safely. He passed mid-point in the torrent, but the steps did not come easier as he strained to gain the other side. Inch by inch, he steadily moved onward until at last he took the last few steps up through shallower water and finally out of the stream completely. 77
He stooped and lowered Soo Jin’s feet to the ground. He straightened to put his hands on his knees and gasped to regain his breath while resting in this position.78
Soo Jin continued to sob. “I’m so sick,” she cried. “I can’t make it.”79
Tae Soo nodded his head. He bent before her offering her his back once more. “U-boo-ba!” he shouted. “I’ll carry you to your halmoni’s house.”80
Soo Jin jumped weakly back onto Tae Soo’s back. Grunting with effort, Tae Soo chugged up the hill before him. Onward he strained valiantly until at last he came to the gate of the house where Soo Jin stayed.81
“Let me off here!” Soo Jin said as he approached the gate. “We can’t let halmoni see you carrying me.”82
Obediently, Tae Soo stopped, and stooped to allow Soo Jin to dismount. 83
“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” Tae Soo called as she closed the gate between them.84
Soo Jin ran shivering and aching into her halmoni’s house. Halmoni met her with excited reprimands as she entered dripping into the house, but Soo Jin was too far gone to respond. As her halmoni undressed and dried her, she faded into feverish dreams and fitful sleep.85
Dream after dream of nonsense and surreal worlds troubled her, but in each dream a dirty little boy in tattered clothing followed her and repeated “You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever known.” Often this mysterious boy would carry her on his back, and she would cling to him, sometimes even marveling at how easily he wielded her weight. Each time the dream replayed he seemed to gain strength. Always he was polite, and soothed her as he cooed about how pretty her new dress and shoes were. He stood between her and the monsters of her sleep who chased her and told her that her parents did not care for her. He reprimanded those who told her how ugly her dress was. 86
Sometimes her halmoni’s face appeared gently and spoke softly as she spooned seaweed soup or hot noodles for Soo Jin's nourishment. Each time halmoni’s face would be before her only for a few moments, then would disappear and leave her at the mercy of those cruel beings in her fever dreams again. Each time, the mysterious poor boy would again stand up to defend her, then would turn to her and tell her how pretty she was.87
Soo Jin opened her eyes. She blinked and strained at the face which glowed lovingly above her. “Mom!” she exclaimed quietly as she reached weakly toward the figure above. 88
“My little girl!” her mother exclaimed tearfully as she gathered her up in her arms. “Oh! My little girl! You’re back with us.”89
Soo Jin snuggled into her mother’s loving embrace. “I missed you so much,” she said.90
“I missed you, too,” her mother said. “You’ve been so sick you didn’t even know when I came!”91
Soo Jin drew back and thought of her trip home. “Tae Soo!” she said, forgetting the social differences that separated them.92
“Tae Soo?” halmoni piped in. “What do you know about Tae Soo?”93
“Halmoni, please don’t be mad,” Soo Jin protested weakly. “I know he’s a poor boy, and I didn’t try to make friends with him.”94
“I’m not angry,” halmoni said calmly. “I know who Tae Soo is. Why did you ask about him?”95
“He’s a good boy,” Soo Jin whimpered.96
Halmoni leaned forward and put her hand reassuringly on Soo Jin’s. “You’re not in trouble,” She said calmly. “But if you know something about Tae Soo, then tell us.”97
Soo Jin dropped her eyes from her grandmothers. “He carried me home,” she confessed.98
Soo Jin’s mother and grandmother’s eyes widened as they looked at each other.99
“So you know why he was on this side of the river?” halmoni asked.100
“I couldn’t get across the river. I was too sick. He carried me u-boo-ba across the river and on to your house, but I wouldn’t let him come to your house because I know you wouldn’t like it.”101
“Aigu,” halmoni gasped as she sat back forcefully and covered her eyes with her hands.102
“Halmoni,” Soo Jin protested weakly, but bravely. “All the other kids are mean to me. Tae Soo is nice to me. I know he’s a poor boy, but can’t we be friends?”103
Soo Jin’s mother looked knowingly at halmoni. She blinked away the tear which was making its way to her face and looked again at her daughter.104
“Soo Jin,” she said softly. “You’ve been sick for 10 days. A lot of things have happened that you don’t know about. The most important thing that happened involved Tae Soo. Nobody knew why he was on this side of the river, but when he tried to get back to the other side, it was very flooded. His friends saw him trying to cross, but the water was almost waist high at the crossing point. He was swept away. His friends chased him down the river to help him, and they did get him out of the river, but it was too late.”105
Soo Jin felt a sickness in the pit of her stomach. “What do you mean by ‘too late?’” she asked.106
“I mean he drowned,” Soo Jin’s mother said. “His mother told him to stay on the other side of the river.”107
Soo Jin snuggled her face into her mother once again and wept bitterly. “He was on this side of the river because he brought me home when I was sick,” she sobbed.108
Soo Jin’s mother cried with her. At last halmoni broke the chorus of sobs. “All we ever saw was a poor boy playing in the dirt with the other poor boys,” she said. “We saw that he was poor, but we never saw beyond that to what kind of heart he had.”109
Soo Jin’s mother wiped her eyes and nodded. “We have to tell his mom,” she said. “She needs to know that he died because he was a good boy, and not because he disobeyed.” She sniffled, and looked at halmoni. “Should we invite her here, or should we go to her house.”110
“We’ll invite her here,” halmoni said. “But first, we need to visit her at her house. We need to wait until Soo Jin can go with us because we want her to see what a good thing her son did.”111
“I’m strong enough to go,” Soo Jin whimpered. “I want to go to his grave with his mother, too.” Soo Jin dried her eyes, then looked at her mother, encouraged now that she could speak of Tae Soo freely. “He told me he wanted his dad to ask my dad to promise me to him. He always told me how pretty he thought I was.”112
Soo Jin’s mother’s eyes watered again. She wiped them, then turned her attention once again to her daughter. “The bad thing is that we would never have considered him before, but with what we know about him now, how could we have found anyone who would have cared for you more?”113
Soo Jin embraced her mother again. “He only thought about getting me home. He was so nice to me.” She drew her face back from her mother. “I don’t want to think about being promised now,” she said. “I just want to think about Tae Soo.”114
“Me, too,” her mother answered. “He’s our hero. Right now, let’s just remember him.”115
Author notes
Source of the story: This is based on a story told to me by one of our friends. This incident was what she described as one of the real formative experiences of her life. She told it as a "first love, lost love" type of story, but I guess my love for the heroic changed the emphasis a little bit. For the romantics, you might like to know that the lady who I call "Soo Jin" (Not her real name) lives in the US today, and has never married.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 64 of 64
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Thank you Highof75. I'm glad you liked it. When our friend told us the story this was based on, I thought it was just too good to lose, so I wrote this. I'm happy you enjoyed it.
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Beautiful
Mm... I love these kind of stories. The ones that make you want to sob and cry.
I really liked how you encooperated Korean culture into the story. And I also enjoyed how you told what the Korean words meant without just saying it.
This story was wonderful. Simply wonderful. Sometimes... Life is more strange than fiction. I don't think anybody can ever forget soemthing like this if it happened.
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Thank you, Liz. I plan to keep the stories ... my kids seem to like them. I'm glad you like them, too - I really like writing them.
Thank you for stopping by, my friend. -
This is a great story! I just love to read your work. I hope you are working on putting a book of short stories together for one day.......even if only for your family to hand down from generation to generation.
Liz -
Thank you very much, my friend. Those are good points, and something I really needed to know. I will work on the story and incorporate things like this. I definitely needed the good feedback from the ladies like you have given.
I really appreciate the time you put into reading this, considering, and the good feedback. Thank you VERY much! -
I do agree with a lot that DragonDancer has had to say about your main character. I have now read the story three or four times and do find that I cannot really picture the girl in my mind as clearly as I can picture the surroundings... So yes, maybe a little more description would help a lot. As well as giving her a few 'mannerisms'... perhaps pulling or twisting a strand of her hair, or chewing her lip... Perhaps you could also try to explain some of the customs that make the boy seem 'forward'... does this excite, or dismay the girl?
I found also that towards the end, the story seemed to rush towards the conclusion. As if you were afraid you may run out of words before you had finished. I don't know whether this was the way you intended it to be...
But I must say that I do love the story, sad ending and all. It really is enjoyably different from what we find on here mostly.
(Sorry for taking so long to give you these comments you asked for, I have been having problems with my PC.) -
Thank you so much, Kathy. I really appreciate you stopping by. I've been out all week with my daughter at Softball Nationals, and unfortunately, I have only a few hours home before I have to leave for another week. I know I have some catching up to do, and I will catch up. I want you to know that I really appreciate you stopping by, reading, and commenting. I'm so happy you liked the story.
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Thank you very much, DragonDancer. That was the kind of feedback I really needed precisely because, being a man, I don't think like a woman (And I don't read many women who can build a convincing masculine character, either). I think you may have addressed several of the things that led my daughter to her conclusion about the main character. The everyday thoughts in her head are what really baffles me - I don't know what a girl thinks about (Being married for 20 years and raising 2 daughters has reinforced this within me - I do not know what goes on in a girl's mind). I'll work on this with advice.
When she is told that she is pretty, I think a blush would be very appropriate. The boy is being forward to the point of being uncustomary, and she is trying to maintain her distance and her mindfulness of their social difference, but a blush or some similar reaction is something that perhaps I missed. Good catch.
I never thought about a girl thinking about her hair (More problems with writing about the opposite gender). I thought her name and the culture I was trying to portray explained the color, but a descriptive mention might not be out of order either.
I didn't really like that the real life story ended like that. When I thought about what the story was really about, though, I decided I didn't have a better ending than the real one.
Thank you very much for such a good and detailed critique. On this piece especially, this was very helpful. I will continue to work on my main female character. Your consultation is very helpful. -
Great
WOW what a wonderful first love, lost love story. As always you have penned a fantastic piece here. It was very sad to hear of her hero not making it. I like how the older folks came around and relized that it is what is in the heart not what is on the out side that counts.
Kathy
Edited on Jul 30, 11:06 because 'typo'. -
Good
Hm...interesting. I don't think I've read many stories in this sort of sense. Very...realistic, actually. The little girl does seem a little flat in character though. I'm not that great doing to opposite gender myself, so I can't really blame you on that one!
Perhaps simply adding in the normal every day sort of thoughts that go on in her own head more?
Like about her sniffle...I completely didn't catch that in the beginning. That and I don't know very many girls that don't twitter away one someone says something like "I think you're pretty." I mean, even I (being more of a tom-boy) would say "Do you think so?" or blush or something...
Also, I noticed she didn't even think about her hair. She must have hair, of course, but I don't think I even say a mention of the color. Nor of her grandmother's...
Another thing you can do to help emphasize a character and give them shape is to choose different ways of them speaking. Like using "huff" vs. "say." Or something like that.
Near the end, the girl whimpers a great deal. I wonder if you might want to give a little more direction with that. It sort of makes her...well...sort of like a wounded dog under the table...she more or less disappears.
Again, near the ending, when she's sick and sleeping...I think it'd be very interesting if you tried to go into a little more detail about the "monsters" and perhaps even have her mother and grandmother mention some of her odd, feverish ramblings in the end?
Now, I know you said this was based off of a real story and everything, and don't get me wrong, but I'm not too happy that the boy died. Made me want to cry and then yell at you for such a thing. Get all that happy-lovey-lovey sort of stuff out and kill the guy? Not exactly romatic material. *pout*
Anyway, aside from that bit about character building, I adored it...aside from not liking the ending...
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Thank you so much my friend. Your comments mean a lot to me. Thank you for stopping by.
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Hi, Once again the weaver of tales has spun a wonderful fabric and taken me there, wonderful Steve, you never disapoint me, a very big hug Di
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Thank you so much Paula. I really appreciate your kind words. You are a very good poet and I enjoy reading your work immensely. I'm glad you liked this.
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Steven, what an incredible story! And made even more so knowing that this had basis in fact. You are an extremely gifted storyteller! I was completely caught up in the story of Soo Jin and Tae Soo! This is such a wonderful "morality tale!" The kind that used to be told freely to our children; not just a story that entertained, but one that gave a marvelous "life lesson." I think if you're not published yet, you should definitely try! An excellent write!
Paula -
Thank you very much Kyleen. I'm so glad you stopped by, and I really appreciate your comments.
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That was so amazing. It's terrible, but amazing. I will ponder this for hours and share it with friends.
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Thank you so much for stopping by. I wish this one would have had a happy ending. Really, I wish they all had happy endings. I really enjoy your comments. Thank you so much.
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Thank you very much, my friend. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you so much for stopping by.
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Brilliant
Steve, you have such a gift for words and stories...I sit here crying for Tae Soo and what heart he had and wishing that he'd had his happily ever after. So much love and caring shown in deeds done and not just words. You have painted a portrait I can contemplate for hours and fills me with emotion. -
Brilliant
Oh dearest Soul -- now you have me crying. Millions of tears I have shed; these are most sacred. For Tae Soo and Soo Jin ... and a hug for the writer too.
Myra -
Thank you for stopping by. I'm really glad you liked it.
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Thank you for stopping by. I'm glad you liked it.
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
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Nice!
This was a very moving story. -
ohh, wow, i was not expecting it to be that long, but is was well worth the read. true stories are always the best. keep up the good work and never stop writing.
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wow *nods* good but long...
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Thank you for stopping by and reading. Yes, I write stories, and I need to develop the story, so they usually turn out about 2000 - 3000 words (About a 10 - 15 minute read). I'm glad you made it through it, and glad you thought it was worth the read.
Thank you for stopping by. -
Jesus its long....but it was great and definitely worth the read.Keep it up.
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This was SUCH a great story...so sad...oh theres a tear theres a tear...lol...come and check my story out too ok..thank you
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Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it.
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wow. splendid
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Thank you very much for stopping by and reading, my friend. You're always a great encouragement. I know I have some catching up to do on your page. I've been on vacation the last few days, but I'll get over and visit as soon as I can.
Again, thank you very much. -
Thank you very much for stopping by and reading, my friend. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you very much for stopping by.
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Thank you very much for stopping by and reading, my friend. I'm glad you liked it. I've been on vacation and am just catching back up here.
I've been through it a few times and have tightened it up a bit, so maybe I should change my author's comments. One thing that made me very nervous about writing this story was that the main character was female, so I had to write primarily from a female perspective. I honestly didn't know if I could pull that off convincingly. I thought through the story the way my friend told it and looked very hard for elements I thought made it "female," but since I've never been female, I was not sure how real world females would react to the perspective. Your comments are very encouraging.
Thank you very much for stopping by. -
Thank you very much for stopping by and reading, my friend. I'm glad you liked it. I've been on vacation and am just catching back up here. I really appreciate your comments. Thank you very much.
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Thank you very much for stopping by and reading. I'm glad you liked it. I'm sorry it took me this long to get back - I've been on vacation (far from a computer
). I visited your author page, and the subject matter you say you write of most times sounds like they types of stories (and poetry) that interests me most. I look forward to getting over to your page for a while (As soon as I answer my other friends here.)
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again you grace us with an amazing write, that`s why you are our favorite story writer, every story just keeps getting better & more complexe, you know how to give life to every sentence you write, I can jump right in and live through any of these moments, as an invisible spectator or one of the characters, your way of writing makes it possible, and it`s a unique gift indeed, keep `em coming
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ahhhhhh~ your stories have always been a joy to read, a great joy~! i relaly enjoyed this one. i think when you say it has weak writing, i supose it's prehaps not as descriptive as some of your other stories? however, i don't think it needs to be.and it's descriptive enough, beautfifully written. it has a touch of everything... *joy*
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(falls to the floor kicking and screaming) Why... why.... Why'd he have to die... (sniff-sniff)... ... This was so sad.... An absolutely wonderful write.... but so sad... I found nothing at all weak about this story... You pulled me into the write from the start and kept me reading for more.... It's left me somewhat speechless... Great work my friend!!!
Have a great day full of inspiration!
Bonnie
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tenderly written, sad
The message about appearances in the story carries a wonderful moral in the telling. Clothes and wealth mean little without character to build upon. This is very inspired and lays forth a good lesson about false pride. We do want what is best for our children, but what we see is frequently a facade that needs to be pierced. Sometimes there is a terrible price to pay when we don't go beyond it. This genuinely touched me, Steven. I'm liking your short stories very much. -
Outstanding!
I absolutely , loved this OUTSTANDING, story..Sad..Breathtaking..Sweet..loving and Inspiring..EXCELLENT!
God bless,
Betty -
Thank you very much for your kind words. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much for stopping by.
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I have enjoyed this story very much and I really fail to see where it is lacking in detail, information, descriptive and precise imagery or anything else. The storyline flows very well and even the dialogue is written with the greatest of care and ease in mind. This is well done.
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Thank you very much for the careful read and the well thought out response. I'm happy you liked it. Thank you for stopping by.
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It's not a long story for the way and the message that is in here. Very well written, Normally long writes do keep me distracted. I think you have done a very good job to keep the reader interested and attentive. Well done StevenHoward. There are some lines that really touched me...
Often this mysterious boy would carry her on his back, and she would cling to him, sometimes even marveling at how easily he wielded her weight.
“I’m strong enough to go,” Soo Jin whimpered. “I want to go to his grave with his mother, too.”
Thanks for sharing this food for the soul. thanks a lot!
Lencio -
good write i especially liked this bit.
Soo Jin threw back her head and laughed slightly. “My dad says he’s going to find a rich man in Seoul for me. I’m going to be married to a rich man! You’re not rich.”
good work
keep it up. -
Vickie, my friend, so good to hear from you! I am always happy to read your wonderful comments. Thank you so much! I am so happy you liked it. Thank you for the encouragement.
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Thank you very much. I'm really glad you liked it. Thank you for stopping by.
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*breathes deeply* wwwooahhhh... a sad story, a beautiful story, a sweet story, an amazing story. thoughtful, incredible, well thought out, beautifully written, beautiful imagery. just AMAZINGGG
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You call this"weak"???? Are you feeling well? Do you need better glasses? This is fantastic! You have such a gift for writing original stories or retelling an existing story. Of course I like stories with happy endings, but not all of life has a "happy ending". You attention to detail leaves nothing for the mind to have to fill in. You are the best! vj
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Thank you my friend. I'm glad you liked it.
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Wow! This was an amazing story, alittle long, but very very good. I have read some of your poetry in the past and have liked it. Keep writing all this really great work.
Thanx for writing,
MightyReciter -
Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it. I'm glad you stopped by.
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Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for stopping by.
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OH wow . . . That was beautiful. It was long, but it was so good that you really didn't notice how long you'd been reading it. I've never been one to be very emotional, but I truly fougt back tears near the end. And the morals behind the story were ones of true vital importance. That was stunning. Absolutely stunning. I can't wait to read your next piece.
Edited on Jul 11, 4:36 p.m. because 'Just had another thought'. -
Wow, this was a great story.. it kept my attention all the way through and it was refreshing to read a story with a hero like that, even though he was lost. Alot of talent...good job!
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Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you for stopping by.
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Thank you very much my friend. I'm very happy that you liked it. Thank you for stopping by.
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Thank you very much, Molly. I'm glad you liked it. I'm glad to have met you here today. Thank you very much for stopping by.
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That was a good story. The last part was sad though but it was still good. I never took my eyes away from it. You have talent in writing. Expecially stories like this one. Good job. Keep on writing.
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Wow... that story is powerfully beautiful. It has strong morals behind it, and it is a stunningly beautiful write. The descriptions are so vivid, and your characters are so strong. Keep it up!
Love, Peace, and Empathy...
Allie
Edited on Jul 11, 1:17 p.m. because ''. -
WONDERFUL
What a wonderful story, My eyes were glued to every line. It has a wonderful message and was written so very well!!! Great work, I'll have to read more of your works. -
Thank you my friend. I always love to hear from you, and I'm glad that you liked it. Thank you for stopping by.
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It's so nice and refreshing to see another wonderful story from your pen. I enjoy your stories because they share so much history and culture that some of us might not otherwise get to enjoy. I also know what you mean about story writing. I will often go back and tweak and re-tweak after thinking about it and reading it a few times. It helps to just step back for a bit and then tackle it again. It's hard to make too many valid suggestions on stories unless they are grammatical or spelling because as a rule, the writer is the only one who really knows what response he was hoping to achieve and what message he wants to relay. You have done a fine job here Steven.
♥ Kimberly
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