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El-Mo Super Hero2
El-Mo was the greatest superhero of all time, twirling his two hand-crafted pistols over his head, between his legs, and returning them to his holsters crossing his hands over each other while doing so. He seemed to find plenty of superhero work to do, but on his off time, he played computer games--by himself. Most of the people online didn't like playing with him because he had become so good at it.3
Being slightly wealthy for the inheritance of his late parents, he was somewhat eccentric--or weird as most people called him. Not having a job, he spent extreme amounts of his inheritance on his superhero costume with his purple cape and mask, his black cowboy hat with the leather strap to hold it on, and his yellow tights and ostrich cowboy boots. He considered himself unique, and thought of nothing else but computer games and saving old ladies at the grocery store. 4
Unfortunately, El-Mo (Spanish for The Moo) was not blessed with good luck. He instead seemed to be almost cursed with the worst luck one could imagine. Normally when a superhero is called upon, everyone suddenly feels secure, and they know they will be in good hands. When Moo arrived on the scene instead, disappointment was not normally their only emotion. They suddenly felt that they were sure to die from his awkward attempts to save them. The last old lady beat him with her cane and handed her purse over to the mugger. She then turn and walked seven blocks to the police department.5
After that beating, Moo went home and laughed hysterically at the entire incident. He had a great sense of humor, and he laughed at himself quite often. He loved to laugh, and it was great fun for him when bystanders laughed at him because that meant that they were having fun while he was saving a life--or getting beaten.6
El-Mo didn't realize that fate was about to step into his life and change him forever. He had donned his superhero suit and grabbed a bagel before he hit the streets in search of lives to save. He was really feeling good about himself, and he knew that today was the day that would make the difference in everything he knew. Of course, he didn't realize that it was only his imagination and that fate really wasn't going to play much of a part in anything except bringing him eye to eye with the most horrible incident he would ever see.7
As he walked through the city streets, he searched around for someone to save, but he saw nothing. He was almost finished with his bagel when he suddenly heard a shrill scream coming from an apartment in the middle of the block. Taking out his pistols, he twirled them a couple of times before crossing his arms and holstering them again. Not thinking to keep them out for intimidation purposes, he ran into the building following closely the screams to guide him. 8
He finally found the apartment from which the screams came. Once again he took a moment to twirl his guns and reholster them. He adjusted his mask, readjusted his gun belt, and flexed his shoulders so as to relax himself. Finally he was ready for action. Getting up his courage, he knocked on the door and waited for it to be opened for him. As the screaming continued, he knocked again. Unfortunately for Moo, he had grown up with the greatest of respect for people, and it never dawned on him to break down the door and rescue the damsel in distress. Therefore, the screams continued.9
Realizing he would have to do something more, he knocked as loud as he could, and an old woman came out of another apartment. She looked him up and down and through her laughter asked him what he was doing. Moo explained what was happening, and the old woman pulled a chain from out of her bra and unlocked the door of the apartment from where the screams emitted. In flew Moo with his bow-legged stance, his arms bent and his hands ready to grab the pistols. Looking around to find the damsel, he noticed the television set was on loud, and an actress was screaming at the top of her lungs. An old lady came out of her kitchen carrying a saucer and cup of steeping tea. Looking to see Moo standing there in yellow and purple, she was startled and threw the scalding tea right into his groin. 10
Moo ran all the was back to his home holding his genitals the entire way and removed his superhero costume as he ran through the door. He placed it in the closet lovingly, went to the kitchen for a bag of ice for his groin, and sat naked in front of the computer. He decided that his days as a superhero were over--until the next old lady needed him.11
Author notes
I chose option #2 and chose El-Mo.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thank you, Beth. Are you catching up again?
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LOL.... This is so funny Gramma!!! You did a great job on this story!!! It is sooooo hilarious!!! I really like it!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
Aww, thank you. I'm not usually really good at humor, but your little guy just stole my heart. lol I'm so glad you liked this. Hugs, Patricia
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most excellent
First of all, this was great
Thanks for choosing one of my characters to write about!
I loved the way El-Mo twirled his guns only to reholster them, not just once, but a bunch of times
really awesome write, i was laughing most of the way through! -
Thanks, TerrBear. You just gave me a great idea!
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Like I've said, this is quite funny. The hilarious part is you substitute cowz for chickenz and you have me. This is my future, as I'm already eccentric.
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