Oubliette

“My God.” The professor placed three of his thin fingers on the glass. “How long has she been like this?”1

“Ever since she was brought in,” the doctor sighed.2

“This has been going on for two weeks?”3

“Indeed. I have no idea what she saw down there, but clearly it’s disturbed her.”4

“That is clear.”5

“L’abîme!”6

The professor flinched back. Even through the one-way mirror, the woman’s voice was shrill.7

“L’abîme!”8

She wore a straight-jacket. Her eyes were bloodshot and wide. Her hair hung about her in oily strands, like so many rat tails growing from her scalp. She rolled on the ground, like a hog in imaginary filth.9

“And the restraints were administered after she clawed herself?”10

“Yes. She still has the scabs.”11

“And what is that word she keeps saying?”12

“‘The abyss.’ Unsurprising, given what drove her to this.”13

The professor and doctor watched the woman squirm on the ground. Eventually she tired and stopped.14

“Disturbing.” The professor adjusted his glasses.15

“Nous avons oublié!”16

The two men glanced at each other.17

“Je sais!”18

“I’ll ask the translator,” the doctor said. “But what do you suggest we do with her?”19

“I suppose all you can do is keep her confined. She is clearly suffering from schizophrenia, or the like. I just wonder how the hell she learned to speak French.”20

“And fluently, too,” the doctor said. “She’s been writing poems. Nonsense about ‘who we truly are,’ and what not. How ‘we all speak in a language that we don’t deserve.’21

“What the hell was down there?”22

The doctor shrugged and then handed a photo to the professor. On it was a wall, and an image upon it that was drawn in what appeared to be dried blood. It was the distorted visage of a man. ‘Quand nous oublions, nous devenons’ was scrawled across his face.23

“When she clawed herself open?”24

“Naturally.”25

“And the words?”26

“‘When we forget, we become.’”27

“She was looking for downed fighter planes, was she not? On the salvage ship Depth?”28

“Yes. But they lost radio contact, and when they brought her back up…”29

“L’abîme!”30

“I wonder what she saw…” The professor sighed.31

“Something strange,” the doctor reported. “The diving suit camera only shows that she got to where the plane was before losing it.”32

“Did they recover the fighter?” the professor asked.33

“I have no idea.”34

Six months later, the woman was discharged having recovered from severe post traumatic stress disorder. Six days after that, neighbors heard a gunshot. Six hours after that, the doctor was informed.35

The woman had put a gun in her mouth and pulled the trigger, blowing a single hole out the top of her skull. Written on the walls, in blood, were the words:36

“When good men forget what has happened, children die.”37

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Asfand
    July 28, 2009

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    Wow, I think that like so many other stories, this has great potential to be very terrifying. I love your concept, it's utterly creepy.

    I would suggest giving the reader something to be AFRAID OF other than just the 'idea'. Give them a complete scene which makes them fearful -- just my personal view of course.

    Otherwise, well done!Thanks for entering


  • Luci Ferraris
    July 14, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Still the question remains. What happened with her?
    This writing could have fit in the contest I did, it was a pity I didn't get enough entries.

    Great reading, especially the French lines mixed in it. Thanks.

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • Intoxica
    July 12, 2009

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    Hmm...Very interesting.
    I liked the touch of French. It's my first language, so I enjoyed its presence in the story...
    Did you research it, or do you speak it?

    Anyway, I liked the length. It was short, I didn't pick up a single grammatical or spelling error...and it had a terrific ending!
    Well done.


  • Surreal Rhapsody
    May 29, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    p 9: oh, good similie, comparing her hair to rat's tails

    Great short story! It really has some depth that I will have to look into more deeply. I wonder what on earth she saw! This was a fascinating story. Its interesting to see the differnt side for your writing, this is very different from "History". Wonderful and earie.

    -Savannah


  • SaffronGreenSpirit
    May 15, 2009

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    Strangely confusing...what did she see over there? Some kind of monster? The man's spirit took hold of her?
    Extremely disturbing...in the finalists list.


  • AshleyAesthetic
    May 9, 2009

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    =O
    Utterly fantastic! This was extremely delicious to read. I want more! Thank you so much for entering!

1 - 6 of 6