Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it.1
If the pain and sorow are balanced out,2
by those two wonderful monthes that we shared.3
Sometimes late at night I wonder4
What your doing, who your with5
And if your happy.6
Sometimes its hard to keep from saying,7
Those three little words,8
That used to mean so much to us.9
Sometimes I wonder if you even loved me,10
If all the words were lies,11
If all the promises even mattered. 12
Sometimes it hurts to hear your name.13
Those are the worst days,14
And those nights are even worse.15
Sometimes I just sit and cry,16
The pain too much to handle,17
And then I feel that I must surely die.18
Because sometimes the pain is so great,19
That I feel like my heart is bleeding,20
And I don't feel I can go on without you. 21
Sometimes I wonder,22
If you ever wonder,23
The same things that I do.24
I like the feelings behind this one but I hate the words. Any suggestions will be very very very appreciated
Comments
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the words are fine really. but if you want you could get a thesaurus and look up synonyms* (sp) and then you can put more meaning into the words
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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ooOoo
I thoroughly enjoyed this, bruh. Or chick. Whichever.
It certainly does have great meaning behind it, though your words could use a bit of a tweaking.
Stanzas are a good way to go, too. If you pasted it and SW just screwed you over, there's an option toward the end of the submit page that reads "Fix line spacing". Uncheck that box and it'll leave your shiz alone. ^^ -
I was a bit confused, but I like the poem. I don't really have any suggestions. It was pretty nice the way it was!
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