Why can't I get you off my mind?1
Its just seems I can't leave you behind.2
Why are you still in my heart,3
When it was you who tore it apart?4
Why does your voice still thrill me,5
When at the same time it kills me?6
Why do I love you so much,7
And why do I long for your touch?8
Why does my heart feel like jello,9
Every time that you say hello?10
What did I say,11
That drove you away?12
Between us there is a wall,13
That I desperatly wish would fall.14
I just want to say,15
That there is no way,16
to forget you.17
And I wish I knew why.
any advice for changes would be greatly appreciated
Comments
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I think you edit a bit and make some stanzas so that way your reader will be able to see the changes in mood. Also a few spelling mistakes I think. But all in all I lved it. I'm pinning for a love as well and it kicks rocks. anyway, good job!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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