My Worst Nightmare

The worst nightmare a man can have does not involve ghosts, zombies, your mom, or your grandma, but a clown is trying to rob you while you are peeing. And not in a fun way. It started somewhere in middle of my dream, and somehow I ended up in a public bathhroom, peeing. It all went pretty well untill...1

BANG!2

There was a sound of gun shot. Everyone froze, and stopped whatever they are doing. Everyone except for me. I did tried to stop, but it was not a very easy task holding your pee when your bladder felt like it’s holding.....lets say about 16 gallons of water. Its like a fricking water hose. The only difference is mine dosen’t have a off switch.3

BANG! BANG!4

There was more sounds of gun shot. It scared the hell out of the people in the little room who were trying to crap. And somehow the gun shot helped them speed up things a bit. There were sudden AAAAAHHHHHHs and WHHOOOs coming out the little rooms, then it was replaced by the sounds of water popping, and later on more AAAAHHHHs and WHOOOs, and then all over again for a few more times.5

I slowly tilted my head to the right, and looked over my shoulder. I caught the glance of a guy in a clown costume holding a gun, with a shaggy hair. He wore Abercrombie & Fitch jacket, and greanish jeans. He grinned gayly at us, well mostly me. And when I said gayly I meant both of it's definitions. I looked at his face carefully. Somehow this guy reminds me of president George Bush. Maybe it’s because his hair, or the messed up make up, or maybe it's just the fact that he is a clown. Im not sure which.6

“Everyone stop whatever you are doing!!! This is ROBBERY!!!” Said the burglar scanning around the room, shouting while waving his gun.7

“Dude?”8

“Yeah?”9

“People are trying to pee here.”10

“Sorry.” He apologized, and put his gun away.11

5 seconds later……12

“Dude?”13

“Yeah?”14

“It would help if you’d stop stareing at me.”15

“Sorry.” He apologized again, and turned around with his hands folded to his back.16

There was silence for the next few minutes. The only sound that could be heard in this room of course was the sound of me peeing, and the occasional popping sound coming out of the little rooms. Later on I started to feel very uncomfortable. The feeling was kind of ticklish, kind of weird It felt exactly as if someone was...17

“Dude?” I asked.18

“Yeah?” He replied.19

“Why are you touching my butt?”20

“Im looking for your wallet.”21

“Ohhhh, okay.” I nodded. “ Dude?”22

“Yeah?”23

“Stop touching my butt!!!”24

“Sorry.”25

And then there was more silence. But it was later on broke by the sound of...26

Click!27

I turned around to see a gun pointed at me28

“Dude?”29

“Yeah?”30

“What are you doing?”31

“Give me the money.” He ordered32

“But Im still peeing.”33

“Sorry, but Im loosing my patience. As you can see im a burglar, and if If I don't steal money, my family goes hungry. So If I don't get the money in the next three seconds, I guess Im gonna have to kill you.” He explained.34

At that moment I said the only words any good man would say at times like this, “What kind of burglar wears a stupid clown costume. And why the hell I should care about your family? You $#(%&#%##. Go and @#$%^% you !#@@#%*#!”35

Suddenly everyone in the room, including the people who were crapping, clapped and cheered for my bravery and courage. Then we started partying in the bathroom. As for the crazy clown looking dude, he ran out the bathroom crying. I even got 5 dollars from one of the dudes that was crapping in the bathroom. Life is good.36

Yeah...I totally should have done that.37

But instead I said, “Please don't kill me!!!” And started crying like a little girl, who just peed her pants.38

So in the next three seconds I tried very hard, using every bits of muscle cells, nerve cells, blood cells etc. to finish peeing, while some clown is pointing at me with a gun, which could pretty much would explode my head in to macaroni and cheese with one shot. Okay, I was freaking out. Sweats and tears were pouring down my face. The feeling was fricking unbearable. But a man is got to do what a man is got to do. I am going to finish peeing, like a man!39

“One.....”40

“I can do this, I am the man!”41

“Two.....”42

“Okay...maybe I cant”43

“Three.....”44

“NOOOO! PLEASE DON'T KILL MEEE!!!”45

“Okay times up! Now you die!”46

“ALMOST DONE...”47

BANG!!48

*****49

I woke up in my bedroom staring in to celling. The first thing that pops to my mind was, I hate clowns. The second thing that pops in to my mind was, I fricking hate clowns. I then fixed the position of my pillow and went back to sleep. Something does not feel right. I opened up my eyes once more. I scaned around the room trying to figure out an answer. Why do I feel so uncomfotable? I looked around and made sure no clowns was touching my butt. Of course there was no clowns touching my butt. I was going paranoid. I kept looking around the room untill I finally spotted the bathroom, and the answer hit me. Oh right, I still need to pee.50

51

Author notes

Moral of the story is "Never mess with a clown. Especially when you are peeing, and when the clown has a gun."

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Comments

1 - 48 of 48

  • Sonic Banana
    September 19
    Edit | Reply
    wtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfw


  • SoulStealer13
    July 21
    Edit | Reply
    I love this! XD dreams are really funny, eh? great job, and I hope you pee well!
    ~Utau-chan


  • Mistress Cheetah
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE IT!! I LOVE DREAM LIKE STORIES!! MAN, YOU ARE ONE STEP AWAY FROM WINNING!!!


  • Killmemylove
    June 26

    Edit | Reply
    hahahaha i laughed so hard XD i love this! dude? yeah? stop touching my butt! ROFL!
    and yesh clowns are SCARY!!!


  • colinlinder
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    Funny stuff, and I hate clowns too! The great thing about writing a dream sequence is that you don't have to make things make sense, in fact the stranger the concepts in the dream the better. And this one was full of strange concepts. Enjoyable read, thanks


  • TNTrouble
    June 15

    Edit | Reply
    Alright ... pretty damn interesting and a bit funny as well. Well done mate. I enjoyed reading this one.


  • AquarianMonkey
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    Clowns and Dubya ... when you have to pee in your sleep, it can oftentimes bring out the weirdest dreams. LOL read...


  • Serenity Blackheart silver member
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    LOL. Clowns are sick. They really are. xD This is hilareous! I've never had a dream like that. Mostly mine are about the end of the world. xD


    • StreetRider
      June 10
      Edit | Reply
      Haha glad you liked it. Lol dreams about the end of the world, thats cool. Thanks for reading!


  • Visions to Ponder
    June 8

    Edit | Reply
    OH MY GOSH! This is THE funniest thing I have ever read!! OMG where did you get this idea? Its totally insane! I LOVE IT! GREAT JOB!

    • StreetRider
      June 9
      Edit | Reply
      haha glad u enjoyed it, and thanks for the kind compliment! Stay tune for more of my awesome stories! Thanks for reading!


  • BigTuck
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    It kind of feels like a stream of consciousness writing. As well it should if it's to resemble a dream. But it feels kind of choppy. Like you went back later and added things that didn't necessarily need to be added.


  • pyschogirl
    June 6

    Edit | Reply

    Omz Funny Dream!!

    Haha, oh my God, I'm laughing my ass off right now. Super funny story, wish I had dreams as hilarious as that. My mom hates clowns, yet she isn't scared of The Joker. Doesn't make that much sense. Irrevelant, yet true. God, super funny.

    • StreetRider
      June 7
      Edit | Reply
      Good to see you enjoyed this story! And thanks for the kind compliment! Im sure u gonna have a dream like that sometime.

  • rustic
    June 6
    Edit | Reply
    hahahah i've never seen a real clown now i think about it.....
    great read ;]

  • kilva of the wolves
    May 24

    Edit | Reply
    lol me and my frind was reading this and she peed on herself wile laughing her *bunny* but off....lol....great story...

    • StreetRider
      May 25
      Edit | Reply
      HAHAHA really? she peed on herself lol. Well i guess the joke is on her then haha. Glad you enjoyed this story. Thanks for reading!


  • Mag the Chodja gold member
    May 22

    Edit | Reply

    Clown Lulz no mores?

    I've read and commented on this one before, so I'll keep my comment short and sweet.

    It's still funny the second time around. xD

    Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck!


  • Caradoc
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Dude that's so messed up. To quote from a book I like. "Like killing a guy when he's on the can, It's just wrong." It was well written though and aside from maybe a few spelling and grammatical errors it was good. I liked it. And for the record, I hate clowns too.

    beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.

    • StreetRider
      May 14
      Edit | Reply
      Good to see you liked it. I will check the spelling and grammatical error sometime, although i was never good at grammer. And thanks for reading!


  • IntrepidFantasy Greeters member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    LOL oh my god that is one funny story! I can't quit laughing just picturing all that in my mind. I've been known to have some pretty messed up dreams before myself. Isn't it wierd how we dream such crazy things sometimes? lol.
    Joann

    • StreetRider
      May 13
      Edit | Reply
      Haha yeah I I know right? Most people says that "the thing you dream is trying to make sense of everything that happened that day". But I guess that doesnt work for most of the dreams. Btw thanks for reading!


  • Dead Beauty
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    That... that is a strange yet freaky dream. I congratulate your brain for thinking it up If I had a dream where I needed to pee or if I was actually peeing... well... then I would wet my bed in real life too.


    • StreetRider
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      haha yeah most people would probably wet thier pants, but i somehow didnt, go me jk. Thanks for reading!

      • Dead Beauty
        May 11
        Edit | Reply
        LOL lucky... when I was on a residential trip I wet my bed cause of my dream and woke up immediately in the middle of the night... but my friends still found out and teased me. I also congratulate you for not peeing. LOL

  • Izzy822
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    LMAO finally a story about hating clowns!!!!!
    I completely relate to that part. The rest was just hilarious!!! Very creative!!


    • StreetRider
      May 7
      Edit | Reply
      haha, good to see im not the only one who hates clowns lol. Glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading!


  • Silas Aidan
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    LMFAO
    Omg, that was funny as shit. xD
    Despite the lack of descriptive paragraphs, this still succeeded in painting a nice motion picture in my head.

    Clowns are abyssmal. Dx

    Work on your grammar, though. Plenty of mistakes. lol

    • StreetRider
      May 6
      Edit | Reply
      haha glad you liked it. And yes i will try to be more descriptive in future stories. As for grammar, I was never really good at it, im still trying to improve. So if you'll be so kind enough to point out the grammer mistakes, i would be really appreciate it. Thanks for reading!


  • Cadburry melted
    May 4
    Edit | Reply
    this is crazy and funny.


  • imagist
    May 4
    Edit | Reply
    glad I'm not the only one with some psychotic dreams!


    • StreetRider
      May 5
      Edit | Reply
      lol hahaha. Ya, me too, i thought i was going crazy. Thanks for reading my story btw.


  • MsAlee gold member
    May 3

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I must say tis a very interesting dream. I am sure any psychologist would love to hear it and analyze it.

    Great write though I laughed the whole way through.

    • StreetRider
      May 4
      Edit | Reply
      lol ya, im sure a psychologist would to love hear this story. But i think after analyzing it, they probably think the result is because I am scared of clowns, and have a *bunny* bladder problem. Which of course Im not. Anyways thanks for reading! Awesome dp btw.


  • His.Golden.Eyes
    May 3
    Edit | Reply
    That was the most random thing I have ever read on storywrite...or anywhere XD.

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