"Tiffany, look who's checking you out!" Britney Moors said as she dipped her french fries on her ketchup.1
"I think Drew Sawyer is checking you. Not me! duh." Tiffany Lawson replied.2
"Ya think?"3
"Totally."4
As the Cheer Leaders gossiped about boys, football jock Drew Sawyer walked in towards their table and pulled up a chair. "Hey ladies" he greeted them. Tiffany wasn't paying attention at him, instead she looked out the window, staring blankly.5
"Hey Tiffany." He said. Tiffany wasn't paying attention. She was still stared blankly in the window, admiring the view. She wouldn't pay attention if Britney elbowed her.6
"Wha? Oh, hi Drew." she said.7
"So, Tiff, you wanna go to the dance with me?" Drew asked.8
"Uhm, I'll think about it."9
"Oh, OK, lemme know." And he went out.10
"What was that 'I'll think about it' thing? You should have answered yes!" Britney blurted.11
"I wasn't feeling Drew as a date for the dance. He may be a hawtee, but I don't dig him." Tiffany replied.12
"Yeah, whatever. It's your loss." Britney said.13
She stared blankly again by the window as the the soft rain poured.14
The bell rang, lunch was over, classes began, classes ended. School was over. By now, the soft rain turned into a hard fall of rain. As time passed by, students were gone. Tiffany waited for her mom to pick her up.15
It's already 4:30, no sign of mom. Only 3 students were left. Tiffany, Britney, and Elmer, the science freak. After a few minutes, Britney's brother picked her up. Britney offered Tiffany a seat, but her brother looked mad. She just shook her head and smiled.16
Tiffany was all alone in a bench, her pompoms still at her hands. She waved them as Elmer watched. When Tiffany saw Elmer looking she smiled at him. Elmer turned red and went inside the school building again.17
"Wait! where are you going?" Tiffany asked.18
"Uh-I'm going to my locker." He said.19
"I'll come with you." Tiffany said, as she held her bag.20
The two went to Elmer's locker. Elmer's locker was pretty awesome for a nerd. It had retro wall paper, a shiny disco ball on top, and it's pretty organized.21
"Cool locker." Tiffany said.22
"Thanks" Elmer replied.23
"Hey what's this?" Tiffany asked. Holding up big sunglasses decorated with hearts, and sequins.24
"That's my present for my sister. She's turning 8."25
"Oh, that's pretty nice of you."26
"I am nice." Tiffany laughed at Elmer.27
"Have you ever tried the hall slide?" Elmer asked all of a sudden.28
"No."29
"Wanna try it? There's no students around."30
"OK!"31
Tiffany watched as Elmer slid down on the halls.32
"Looks like fun! Can I try it?" Tiffany asked. Elmer thought her how. On her first try, she screamed so hard that it can be heard all over the school. She fell down by the end.33
Elmer guided her to stand, he held her hand. Her hand is warm, while Elmer's was cold. Elmer was crushing on her, the moment she held her hands. Tiffany stood up. Elmer let goes his hand out of Tiffany, afraid she might sense his crushing. His heartbeat was racing.34
"No, don't let go." Tiffany said. "I like it." she continued.35
Elmer didn't let go, his heart was racing. They went strolling around the school while holding hands.36
"I'm feeling a little chilly right now." Tiffany said.37
Elmer offered his jacket. As he took it off, Tiffany noticed his abs. He's pretty fit, much fitter than Drew. Before she knew it she was also crushing on him.38
"Thanks." Tiffany said with a smile. "I know this might sound awkward, but can you hug me?" she continued. Elmer was surprised. He wrapped his arms around her. They felt the warmth of each other.39
Together, they watched the rain fall. It fell hard for 10 minutes, then the rain started to slow down. Elmer wasn't afraid or conscious of Tiffany right now, unlike earlier. "Tiff, can you go to the dance with me?" he blurted. And in a split second, Tiffany said "Yes." Elmer was totally surprised with the answer. He didn't quite expected it. Tiffany was also happy that she's going to the dance with someone she likes.40
At 6:00, they exchanged goodbyes.41
The next day,42
"Tiff, so going to the dance with me?" Drew asked.43
"Sorry. No," She replied.44
"What? You're gonna regret this Tiffany Ashton!" he exclaimed. He was raged with fury.45
"Yeah, sure whatever."46
Everyone was shocked. Her co-cheer leaders was in such disbelief.47
"OMG! who are you going out with now?" Britney asked.48
"Elmer." She replied.49
"Elmer? The science freak?"50
"He's not a freak! He's cool once you know him!"51
The cheerleaders gasped.52
"You are not Tiffany!"53
"Is it wrong for a cheerleader to love a geek?"54
"Yeah! Your image?"55
"I don't care. I like him. I wanna go out with someone I like, unlike you who looks at the exterior of a person. Come awn!"56
"That's quite a confession Tiff."57
Everyone looked at Britney in an odd way, Britney felt weak.58
"OK, I have a confession too. I like Tommy Chase!"59
Everyone gasped. It was shocking to know that Britney likes Tommy, the class clown.60
"Didn't that feel much better?"61
"Yes, it does!"62
And thus love does come in different shapes and sizes. A cheerleader loving a science freak, is like a swan loving a dolphin.
Author notes
Ok, so you might think it's a little cliche. But don't you all get tired of the story about Ms. Cheerleader crushing on Mr. Jock? How about Ms. Cheerleader crushing on Mr. Science freak hawtee?
A contest entry
- Not the normal love story! by ArtistoLeVerse.
165 points, ended May 22, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Catch of the Clichés by Tiger-Lily.
400 points, ended May 11, 26 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Ha
I really love this..it made me smile
.I totally agree with ur message
But don't you all get tired of the story about Ms. Cheerleader crushing on Mr. Jock? How about Ms. Cheerleader crushing on Mr. Science freak hawtee?
Lol anyway pure awesomness
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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Thanks!
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Hahahaha! 8 out 10, definitely.
Best of luck in your contests! I certainly wasn't expecting THAT from Britney. Most people are too stubborn to change their ways.
Though, in my school, the class clown is part of the preps. I guess it's because he irritates the teachers the most. XD
Though let me tell you it is dangerous to think science freak nerds are all sugar and cream. I know one who acts completely like a prep when it comes to who's brainy in the class and who isn't. XD
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Thanks!
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7 out of 10
Thought it was very good. I enjoyed reading and I'm sure you have a great imagination. Fantastic job, I liked it!
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Thanks!
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I will start with the editiing stuff:
As the Cheer Leaders gossip about boys, football jock Drew Sawyer walks in their table and pulls up a chair. "Hey ladies" he greets them. Tiffany wasn't paying attention at him, instead she looks out the window, staring blankly.5 (the part about Drew sawyer walks in their table, doesnt make sence. You might want to reconsider re writing that sentence.)
"Oh, OK, lemme know." And he went exited.10 (And he went exited? theres a mistake there, i not sure what your intending to write but yeh you might want to fix that up)
"Yeah, whatever. It's your lost." Britney said.13 (loss* not lost)
"Wait! where are you going?" Tiffany asked.18 (capitilise the W in where)
"uh-I'm going to my locker." He said.19 (Capital U for uh)
(It)had retro wall paper, a shiny disco ball on top, and it's pretty organized.21
33. Elmer thought her how. (doesnt make sence, im not sure what your meant to be saying so i will let you fix that up on your own.)
"Sorry. No(,)" She replied.44
I really think that you should go over it and edit, i think i picked most of them up. I like this story, because the characters were believeable and it was an interesting story. I like how you made the cheerleader turn the jock down, and pick the nerd. Ususally, cheerleaders date jocks and yeh, but i liked your ending better.
In this story i especially like how you wrote:
And thus love does come in different shapes and sizes. A cheerleader loving a science freak, is like a swan loving a dolphin.
I think that was an excellent way to end the story. Overall, i would rate this 8/10, and it was definitly an interesting read. Great work
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Oh, thanks!
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that was great. i loved reading it. i love the sentences at the end. great job.
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Thanks!
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You need to choose either past-tense or present-tense becasue you switched back and forth through out the story. In P.21 you used the number 2 in substitution of the actual word 'two'. You need to use the word not the number. Same with P.14.
I know you meant to spell hottie 'hawtee' but you really should just spell it hottie.
P.2 captiolize the 'D' in Duh.
Other than that im pretty sure I saw everything that needed to be brought up.
Thanks for entering and good luck. -
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Thanks! I'll edit it. I didn't know it had many errors.
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