Step on my Shoes

“You are, by no means, the most ludicrous person I’ve ever met! Why the hell would I hug you, you fool!” a certain frenzied girl said, putting her pixie-sized, flip-flop-wearing feet on top of my white sneakers, stepping on them until I winced in pain— though I only did that to get her off me.1

Those were the current last words she told me. I admit, I am quite the fool saying that she’s dying to have my arms around her, but I’m not the most sought-after guy in the school for nothing, right?2

Ah, yes. She’s no other than my sweet soft-hearted Kimm— or Kimmie, as I like to call her— much to my bliss and much to her annoyance. She hates my guts, she hates my supremacy, she hates my looks, and she hates my potency. To put it simply and mildly, she hates everything about me. She hated me the first time her eyes landed on me— the moment she knew me. She eyes me as a rival; she eyes me as an idiot. Best of all, she eyes me as the “disgusting bastard who has girls bow before him wherever he goes, flattering him for his gorgeous looks.”3

And yes, those were her precise words. I remember asking, “Oh, so you do think I’m gorgeous?” And she hit me with her large Calculus book, leaving our friends guffawing and struggling to breathe fresh air. That was, when, just a few seconds ago? Well, the story continues…4

“Hey Kimmie!” I shouted after her, watching her stride away, her long black hair flourishing like the waves in the marine. She looked back at me, eyes raging in ferocity, and I smirked at her expression.5

“Do not call me Kimmie!” she hissed, making our audience laugh harder. Some were clutching their stomachs; some were holding on for support; some were resisting the temptation to laugh out loud and lose their pride; while some were already on the floor, tears of amusement falling down to their laps. Even a couple of teachers were watching in amusement. It seems that everybody wants to know first-handedly who wins today’s battle.6

“Oh, c’mon, don’t be like that, Kimmie-love!” I called after her, snickering. I never knew what happened next. All I knew was that she was strangling me using her bare hands. Even amidst the rather disturbing scene, no one made an effort to stop her. I started counting down with my fingers.7

“Five…four…” I muttered, “Three…two…one…”8

She let go, and I grinned in response. Just in time. “What the hell is your problem?!” she screamed at me.9

“Stop it with the caps lock mode! You’re destroying my eardrums!” I wailed in mockery, holding my hands on my ears.10

She stared at me for a few seconds; her arms crossed in front of her chest, and sighed. “What do you want me from me?”11

I grinned and went frank. “Spend the afternoon with me.” Cheers were heard all around us.12

She snorted in response and turned her back on me once again. “I can’t even last a minute with you, idiot.” I heard some of my fan girls behind me letting out ear-piercing screams at her.13

“It’s not everyday you hear the most sought-after guy in school ask out a girl!” I told her, leering. “You’re gonna regret this Kimmie!”14

“Yeah, I regret ever meeting you!”15

“Oh, c’mon Kimmie! Why do you hate me so much?”16

“In case you’re not aware, that’s because you’re a monster.”17

“Too late to flatter him now!” my best friend Chris shouted from the crowd.18

“Shut up, you bastard.” I yelled back at him, putting on a serious face. “Don’t goad my Kimmie here. We can’t underestimate a PMS-ing sugar-high pixie lady who mysteriously weighs as much as a cow.”19

“What the hell did you just call me?!” she bellyaches. I earned another hit on the head. Guess I have another trip in the infirmary later again. Oh well. It’s all worth it.20

“Oh, you were listening?” I teased her. “Does that mean that you’re interested in me?”21

Her pupils seemed to have formed the shape of raging fire. “You’re delusional, you’re repulsive, you’re preposterous, and you’re annoying.”22

“So you’re saying you’re unimpressed?” I asked her, my face falling, mocking her more.23

“And thoroughly disgusted.” Her pale cerulean orbs shot daggers at me. If looks could kill, I would’ve been a human dartboard by now.24

“It’s our destiny to be with each other!” I whined.25

“Destiny my foot.” Stubborn freak.26

“You’ll be the death of me, you vindictive woman!” I wailed, drowning the loud laughs of our audience.27

“Well, that’s good then!”28

“Yeah, because I won’t mind dying.”29

“Augh! Do the entire world and the whole of humanity a favor, will you?”30

“What do you want me to do? Commit suicide?”31

“Exactly!”32

“Then you’re coming with me!” I said, grasped her by the waist, and carried her, her face facing the crowd behind us. I heard a mixture of cheers and catcalls from the audience, but they were obscured as the little lady I was carrying kept shouting on my ears to put her down.33

“Can you hear what I’m saying or am I making a complete fool of myself?” she asked, sighing, kicking her feet to nowhere.34

“Sorry to inform you, but you are making a fool of yourself.” I grinned at her. I noticed that our friends were tailing behind us, obviously amused by our actions. Still, it was an everyday battle. The most of the people we were passing didn’t even glance at us; as if we do this everyday— well, we do perform this everyday. Kind of like a play set out for everyone— every day for almost a decade. Well, it was tamer when we were younger.35

Chris started hushing the other students away who were traumatized by the person I was carrying. “Just your usual skirmish. Perfectly normal. Move along now… you there! What are you looking at? Never seen a pixie-sized fiend before? Keep walking!” Well, I can’t blame them, at the very least. The scheme I’m using is the latest one from my brilliant wits— if I do say so myself.36

“Kimm, you have a recital in a half hour, remember? Ask your boyfriend to put you down or you’ll be late.” Isabelle said, a.k.a Kimmie’s best friend.37

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Kimmie shouted at them in exasperation.38

“Well, whose fault is that?” John smirked, another part of the gang. Weird, don’t you think so? We’re from the same group of friends but we never seem to get along. Behind us, our friends were having an animated discussion about the first time Kimmie and I met, and I jovially joined them, letting Kimmie rumble and grumble about this and that, and these and those.39

“First grade; regarded as the most memorable year in History; when Tyler and Kimm first met.” The dramatic one of the group reminisced, Hailey. Her eyes shone like the stars in the memory.40

“Aye.” Mark agreed, grinning wide. “It was the year when the most treacherous yet most amusing couple met.”41

“But we’re not a couple for Pete’s sake. Is that so hard to grasp?!” I heard Kimmie puffed.42

Rein snorted, crossing his arms across his chest. “Yeah it is.”43

“But—”44

“And remember how Kimm stepped on Tyler’s shoes?” Kate interrupted her, giggling.45

“‘Don’t touch me or you’ll regret underestimating me! Now get off, bastard!’ ” Hailey imitated Kimmie’s then-high pitched voice.46

“I never knew Kimmie’s vocabulary in first grade was as thick as the bible.” Chris commented, smirking.47

“The only thing is,” Isabelle continued, “They’re not exactly the cleanest and purest words there are, right?”48

“I’ll kill you guys for bringing this up…” I heard Kimmie mumble. “Stupid resemblance…” She hates people discussing the past— maybe that’s why she hates History so much. She said it brings back memories some don’t want to remember. Well, let her forget that first grade, first class memory, and I’ll treasure it like a frog that ate a bar of gold.49

“Well, I still can’t grasp how I honestly look like your cousin.” I complained. “How dense can a person be, hugging people just because they look like your family? I mean, I am the most handsome guy alive, you know.”50

“Not to mention conceited and naïve.” She mumbled.51

“Oh, so you agree that I’m handsome the way you agree that I’m gorgeous? Oh, stop it Kimmie, you’re embarrassing me!” I pretended to be humiliated, much to our friends’ hilarity.52

“You evil hag.”53

“Look who’s talking.”54

“Hey,” Isabelle interrupted. “I thought we were talking about how shoes became the reason how the two became a couple— I mean, rivals?”55

“I think Kimm’s the only one who made the rival thing up.” Rein snickered from the back.56

“How unlikely. I mean, seriously, of all things to bring two people together, why shoes?” Hailey ventured.57

“We’re not together…” Kimmie grumbled, and I simpered.58

“Actually,” I told them, much to Kimmie’s annoyance. “It was her pair of green flip flops and my white sneakers, to be exact.”59

“And now he’s acting like he has amazing photographic memory…” Kimmie murmured again.60

“I can’t believe how shoes can be such a great impact to meet up two soul mates.” Isabelle reminisced.61

“Traitor…” Kimmie burbled heatedly.62

“Look at all the years. I mean, we’re sixteen now. It seems like just yesterday when Kimm first stepped on Tyler’s poor feet.” Kate remarked.63

“God forgive me to whatever I’ll do to these people…” Kimmie muttered under her breath.64

“Give it a break Kimmie,” John was saying. “You’re starting the war too early.”65

“Rot in hell…”66

Mark “tut”-ed Kimmie and said, “Having such a colorful vocabulary isn’t actually the best way to attract guys, Kimm.”67

And that, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, is what brought us to our rather abnormal relationship. I dunno about her, but I’m hoping that she’ll step on my shoes again.