Lost Friendship

I looked into her eyes and I knew things weren’t the same. The smile that used to brighten up her face whenever I came into her view, rarely appeared anymore, and I knew it would soon fade into non- existence. The three hour phone calls we had gradually came to a halt, so did the many special sleepovers. I knew she no longer considered me a best friend . She had other people to fall under that title, people who were more glamorous, more intelligent, more important than me. I was just a lonely, unattractive nerd, who was not good enough for anyone. 1

We had been best friends for as long as I could remember. I still remember as clearly as if it had happened yesterday, the day she pulled my pants down until they were dangling freely around my. Of course this was done in front of my current crush of the day. I was only ten at the time and I refused to speak to her for days. Those days we didn’t talk dragged by at a snails pace, making us both miserable. It was then when we realized the depth of our friendship. We literally thought we could not live without each other. That day we made a bond to each other. A promise: that we would care for each other, love each other, be there for each other, and be best friends forever.2

As I stood there looking into her blue eyes, I realised our promise was broken. Tears rolled down my face as I silently wished for things to go back to what they used to be like. She gave me one last look, and turned her back on me and walked away.3

It was weird seeing her walking and chatting with her new friends. Only a year ago, Sarah wouldn’t have been caught dead with them. At that sudden thought more tears rolled down my cheeks and soiling the collar of my favorite dress.4

Weeks passed and I had made no new friends. I spent my lunch times in the library trying to improve my already high grades. However nothing I did distracted me from the fact that I was lonely and had just lost a very important part of my life. I wish everyday for her to come crawling back to me, but I knew this would never happen.5

I heard the school bell ring in the distant, so I gathered my belongings and headed to my next lesson. On the way I noticed a large poster bearing the words School Talent Show This Friday. Singers, dancers, comedians all welcome. Singing was my hidden talent. No one in the world knew I could sing, not even Sarah. Whenever I was alone, I would take the opportunity to turn my music on softly and sing along. It was my favourite past time. I was incredibly shy and never even considered singing in public. This particular poster gave me the sudden urge to come out of my shell. I just knew it was time to take my talent to the next level. I took a deep breath and wrote my name on the signup list in perfect cursive under the unusual long list of names. As my pen lifted off the poster, I could feel the butterflies coming alive in my stomach. Nerves were already overtaking my body even though there was still almost just a week until the show.6

Everyday before, after, and even during school I practiced singing. It was difficult to select a song for the contest, because of a wide selection of my favorites. Eventually I settled on; someone’s watching over me , it was after all my number one favorite. My singing improved as my nerves weakened and Friday arrived in no time. 7

It was Friday lunchtime and I was next up to perform in the talent show. A kid named Jack was performing at the moment and he was very good. I knew I could not compete against him, he was too good. He sang his last note and took a bow. I heard my name get called and walked onto the stage. As I did I heard the whole school burst into laughter. I looked around and couldn’t see one face that wasn’t laughing. 8

“She has got to be kidding us, she can’t sing.” I quickly located the sources and looked in that direction. I saw Sarah rolling her eyes at me, her face red with laughter. I was about to burst into tears and run off the stage, but something held me back. I had to do this and show everyone who I really was. I cued for the music to begin playing. I heard the song begin playing, opened my mouth and sang in the best voice I possessed. I saw everyone’s mouth drop in astonishment as they heard me sing. They could not believe I was that good. As I got further into the song I noticed everyone was standing on their feet clapping. I sang my final note to a tremendous applause. I could not believe this was happening. They thought I was actually good. I walked off the stage and watched the rest of the performances. 9

The next day at school, everyone was congratulating me on such an incredible performance. It seemed that everyone in the whole school came up to me, with the exception of Sarah’s group. After the crowd surrounding me disappeared I saw Sarah staring at me crying. She walked up to me and burst into speech.10

“I’m so sorry I ever left you. I was rude, selfish and it wasn’t me. I thought they liked me, but it turns out they didn’t. When I said how good you were at singing they disowned me as their friend. I promise it will never happen again, can we still be friends?”11

As she stood there before me, her eyes red and puffy begging for forgiveness. She wanted our friendship to return to how it used to be, but I realised some things could never be the same. I had been wishing for weeks for her to come crawling back to me, and there she, but it wasn’t good enough. My wish had come true, but it didn’t matter, something we had was missing, a pledge was broken and the harm could never be repaired. It was at this moment I realized I didn’t want her back; The pain and suffering I had to endure in the time when we were not friends, had made me stronger.12

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this, the pledge is broken, dishonoured, and it can’t be repaired”.13

I turned my back on her and heard her sobs increase as I walked out of her life for the very last time.

Author notes

Please comment and tell me what you think and how it can be improved.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Sheilasbabygal4life
    October 2
    Edit | Reply
    This was good and very suspenseful. I enjoyed this. It was good. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest!~


  • Kagamine Rin
    July 18
    Edit | Reply
    So suspenseful.. very exciting and surprising, too~ :3


  • toolenduso
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    The one thing I really noticed about this story is that you are good at communicating emotions through your writing. However, in this particular piece, I feel it would have benefitted from an altered approach to the storytelling aspect; as in more emphasis on both detail and the story as interpreted by the main character rather than told by the main character.

    But you did a good job with this, keep up with the good work!

    Also, thanks for entering, and good luck in the contest!

    Style: 5/10
    Flow: 7/10
    Uniqueness: 3/5
    Readability: 4/7
    Effect: 8/10
    Lack of Errors: 2/3
    Personal Score: 2/5
    Total: 31/50


  • Marisalyn13
    June 14
    Edit | Reply
    pretty well. good luck and thanks for entering


  • SCREAMxTOxxBExHEARD
    June 10
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done.


  • iDifferent-
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    This was saddening and fairly emotional. There were a few sentences that didn't have a finishing word, but this was otherwise very nicely done.

    Great job and continue writing,
    RayneFall


  • Rose Hathaway
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    Wow you have entered this in alot. I loved it! Perfectly portrayed and I felt a connection to the characters thruogh one of my own personal experiences so that made me like it even more. Your words were strung together beautifully and the message was brilliant. All in all a fantastic story! Thanks for entering!

    ~~Roza


  • Clary--Selene--Tayy gold member
    May 24
    Edit | Reply
    great very sad...as i already said.


  • Cupcake14
    May 22
    Edit | Reply
    Hi kitty, and thanks for entering both my contests. Best of luck in both!


  • Para Turkey gold member
    May 17
    Edit | Reply

    kool

    that was a good story,sad but good


  • tonialoise
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Very sad indeed.

    I found a couple minor things that could use correcting;
    p2 "freely around my. " if you truly meant to omit something here you probably should have used ellipsis(...)

    p6 "I heard the school bell ring in the distant," should be "distance"

    p7 "Eventually I settled on; someone’s watching over me , " Titles of songs should both be in Quotes and Capitalized. Plus no space before the comma.

    p12 "and there she, " I think you meant to add a "was" after she

    While I know Sarah deserved it I still felt sympathy for her. I can't help but feel that the main character herself became a little uppity with her new found popularity. Some forgiveness is usually warranted, even if they never go back to full friendship. She just seemed kind of harsh at the end.


  • bowmore bill
    May 12

    Edit | Reply

    Infectious reading

    Hi Citcat, this is a very good piece of writing,it held my attention from start to finish.... Serves her right.
    This story points to the old addage...
    You don't know what you have missed untill its gone.

  • Cupcake14
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    Well..all I'd like to say is that friendship is rarely perfect. My best friend can be quite mean sometimes, but in return she tolerates my inconsistencies, so it's a 50-50 situation. However, I could really connect with your character on many levels..next year the school might put my best friend in a different class, and I know our friendship might not be the same again...I liked your protagonist, she was strong. I have been in a situation where my ex-best friend tried to be friends with me again...but I denied. It hurt a lot, and I still don't know whether I made the right decision.
    Bravo, you really seem to know a lot about friendship! Best of luck in all your contests!

  • Lady Michaella
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    wow... this is beautiful!!!!
    so sad, yet amazing
    its a fantastic story. friends just ditch you and then come crawling back when they need you. this is a beautiful story that really does show the transformation someones has when they come out of their shell
    x


  • SweeneyTodd-girl
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    This was a beautiful story, but so sad! I'm sorry, but this would not be rated G. It's about a lost friendship. I'm really sorry, but I can't add you to the finalists list, seeing as it doesn't really apply to the contest. Thanks for entering anyway. I really enjoyed reading your entry.


  • ablelaz silver member
    April 23

    Edit | Reply

    Well done

    I`m sorry my comments would not copy into the form available. I used color to highlihgt certain aspects of my critique, but color won`t copy I guess, unless I just don`t know how.
    Talk topm you soon---ablelaz


  • A Lovers Sin
    April 23
    Edit | Reply
    WOW is there a second part to this?? xxxxx

  • Clary--Selene--Tayy gold member
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    jesus caitlin are you tryin to make me sad??!! im supposed to be happy tonight cuz im goin out 2 have fun and now im cryin sheesh thanks a lot! but that was awesumicated!!!


  • HaydenLautner
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    This was very well written, and inspiring. I particularly like this story, because i cane relate to how my life is right now. The protagonist did a very good job leaving her 'friend behind'. This story was not only inpiring to other people but to me too. Very well done, and thank you for entering my contest


  • onaya3
    April 21

    Edit | Reply

    This is a touching subject...

    ...and a heartfelt one at that. The reader can empathise with the experience and your writing style communicates the message clearly. Good job!

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.

  • Done
    April 20

    Edit | Reply

    This was great.

    You have a very clear and succinct style to your writing that reads well and requires very little effort to get through it. That's a good thing. The best writers make you feel like the read is no effort at ALl, and I think you've GOt a good start on that.

    I can relate a lot to what you describe heRE aS I experienced the same when younger as I had unnatural anxiety, unbeknownst to me at the time. It made getting to know people very difficult. I too, could sing but never did until my later years of school and it opened doors for me. I also went out for athletics even though I was skinny as all get out and ended up finding something I excelled in with Track. Getting out there and doing IS what makes life happen and it's important not to let anyone else's opinion hold you back from that. I think it's TERrific that you stepped up and made it happen. You know, it's funny...but often times all that it takes is for someone to get to know us as we are and to break all the presumption away to see the reality of you. The cream always rises to the top. Good for you, and good for you for sticking to your guns and not caving to being a groupie simply to belong. Being on the outside for a while is good, because it makes you an individual and capable of doing for yourself rather than depending on anyone else to define you.

    Great job, both in life and with this write.

    al


  • GrimDeath
    April 20
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written.

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