The hair stood on the back of my neck as the fan slowly came to a halt, its gentle whirring replaced by the rhythmic footsteps of my keeper. At first, my body tried to revolt. My legs squirmed in their stirrups. My arms shook restless behind my back, and my eyes begged for x-ray vision. I trembled as her footsteps stopped, her breath blowing soft against my skin. I felt her warm middle finger, press deeply into my ankle, following her delicate palm up the side of my leg, and up and around my bottom. Her sweet lips sucked gently on the side of my neck, her hips leaning into mine as her hands forcefully massaged the moons of my ass. The crowd gasped as I reeled back in ecstasy, but it was her thumb, digging into the side of my hip, and down the crease of my shaking thigh that left me immobilized. Her warm breath against my cold body brought me into a new state of being. 2
My chest forced itself forward. Sighs pulled themselves from my dry and aching lips. My back arched backwards like a cat in the afternoon sun, so sweet… before the agonizing cry escaped my mouth. Heat rose from my skin, the crack heard only nanoseconds before. My movements stopped. My cheek felt the blow. Her delicate, manicured hands harshly slapping the left side of my face in a way that caused my head to jolt. I pulled my lips towards her general direction, but my left breast felt the second hit. Her humid breath dripped lust onto my neck as she gently massaged the cheek she had struck. I cooed at her touch.
"Oh baby," she said in her thick, Italian accent. "My little slut has made a big mistake. I told you not to FLINCH."
I squeeled in defense as i felt the rush of her knee rising up towards my crotch. It wasn't there that she hit next, but the other side of my face, leaving a stinging bruise before fondling my neck, slowly grinding her risen knee against my clit. The moans became ones, not of pain, but of desire. Her hand rubbed harshly around my neck and collar bone, another finding it’s way down my outer leg on the opposite side. I could barely find air as she touched and kneaded. My clit throbbed against her moisturized leg, slowly bringing me to the edge. Her hand, so soft gripped tightly against my neck, blocking the air flow. I wheezed without breath, tears falling as her bony knee slammed itself on the inside of my defenseless crotch. How I loved her. How I lived to please her. My clit ached to the rhythm of my whimpers, but it wasn’t even a second before they were quelled by her tongue, forcing its way into my mouth. My keeper kissed up and down my chest, tracing her tongue around my erect nipples and down my cleavage. It flicked daintily in and around my naval, following the almost invisible line of blonde hair back up to my chest. I opened my mouth for the entrance of her index and middle finger. How perfect she was, as she pulled them slowly in and out of my mouth, tracing the wetness around my lips, sometimes rubbing it around my face before sticking them back in. I wanted to fuck her fingers with my mouth. If they were a cock or dildo i would have brought them to orgasm. Instead, I only brought my mistress to a short fit of desire and laughter.3
My hips thrust forward as her other hand reached down into my dripping pussy. I wanted nothing but her. “Please. PLEASE” I begged. “Please.”4
“What was that?” Her question was frigid and piercing. My clit throbbed for only her. I heard her torso spin, presumably moving towards the faceless crowd, who I had long forgotton until now. My keeper's palm rested, cupping my mound as her fingers danced around my clit and inner lips. My legs were shaking.5
“Please.” 6
Her teeth sunk into my neck, bleeding ecstasy through my skin. 7
“Please!” I cried, almost choking at the sound of applause. Three fingers rammed their way up into my pussy, her thumb still fondling my clit. Her mango scented lips teased mine as I felt another finger tracing it’s way around my asshole and gliding up and down the riff in my cheeks.8
“Please.”9
Her teeth bit harshly into my collar bone. I screamed. She had drawn blood. I could not see it but felt the slow droplets rundown onto my left breast. One hand continued teasing my crotch, the other was now running up and down my thigh.10
"Please."11
Her large hands squeezed and pulled at my aching breasts. 12
"Please."13
Her teeth slowly grated against my bottom lip, followed by her tongue.14
"Please." 15
"Please, what?"16
Her hand rubbed my chest seductively, coming threateningly close to my throat.17
"Please, mistress."18
Her lips sucked the ouside of my ear. “Pain is love,” she whispered sweetly, her hand ferociously rubbing and taunting my clit. My answer had pleased her greatly. 19
“Now cum.”20
Author notes
i thought i'd try something different. i write a lot of "normal" erotica, i guess you could say, but as i'm very into kink and bondage and all that i thought i'd slowly start working my way into it. please tell me what you think. if you think there is any way it might be better, as well, PLEASE let me know. :-)
Comments
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Absolutely beautiful and remarkably well described. The tale is enticing, and leaves you wanting more... much more.
Very well done, thank you for sharing such a delightful experience.beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Mmmmm....I love reading a dirty story when I get up on a lazy Saturday morning. Now that I'm all turned on, whatever shall I do?
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all i can say is wow
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Exciting
And inviting. I think I need to go back and read your earlier work. I'm new and just passing through here but writers like you make me think I might want to stay.
I found myself reading faster and becoming more excited as the story went on. I get the feeling that you were writing faster too. It was a little bit disjointed. I had to go back and read the second time to really follow the story line.
Your domina seemed to be driven by passion, not inflicting the sensual progression that would come from control. Maybe you could try writing a switch from the dom's perspective. It's a lot easier with the pen than it is in the bedroom. lol
Some elements that you included were left undeveloped. What is the point of having the crowd if the sub is not adequately humiliated? Or at very least, to use the crowd as a foil for a description of the joys of exhibitionism.
I enjoy the sensuality and perspective of your descriptions. "my eyes begged for x-ray vision" Nice. Opening the third paragraph by describing the reaction before indicating the blow is an interesting device. You did that well and could use it more often.
Still, you missed the chance to describe the blow. Not only how, but with what the blow is inflicted. Even a backhand could be described as taut sinew, raised knuckles, and four bony digits. A big part of the pleasure that makes BDSM so much more than vanilla sex is the vast range of sensuality that is possible. In part, that is because there are so many implements of infliction that can be applied. Perhaps a look at some of the BDSM suppliers could give you descriptions of the toys and tools that are available, inform your writing and offer you some possibilities.
All in all, very interesting. I want to see more.
Yours, OoohYahhh
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thank you so much for your very thorough comment. i always love it when people really take time to give a critique, because i want to get better and i want to please you all, as well. as this was my first bdsm write, i wasn't 100% sure how to approach it. i will definately edit it with your suggestions on describing the blows as well as the crowd. how did you think it was disjointed? and what did you mean by "the sensual progression that came from control" (basically, i LOVE bdsm and am trying to become as good at writing it as i feel that i am with my other erotica, so all comments are immensely appreciated)
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Great detail to the first person tale...
Pain is love???...more is now demanded -
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hahaha. you liked it?
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more of Please
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