Pathetic Paper Flowers

As my cat strolls into my room, 1

two thoughts parade through my brains, one after another2

like macys day floats3

except without all the confetti and smiles and yelling.4

More somber and slow, with quiet meandering steps, 5

veiled in gray and paper flowers that melt in the rain.6

The first thought arose7

as the cat nuzzled my hand, and i picked it up8

burying my face into the soft fur9

hiding my tears in its body,10

sobs unheard under the rumble of its purr.11

"This cat is the only one who'll love me forever"12

no matter the mistakes made13

or how much i change14

seasons passing by.15

No torn promises or lies sharp like broken shards of glass16

or betrayals. 17

It cant even speak (perhaps the best part)18

so it cant do anything but 19

listen20

and lick my toes to make me giggle21

when i'm crying on my bed22

and nobody else seems to have remembered23

i still exist24

when it seems as if i have melted away25

just like those white paper flowers when droplets of water stain their crumpled surface.26

When my friends have vanished into smoke, as insubstantial as fog,27

like standing on a cloud28

and trying to tell yourself its solid ground.29

Then of course, my second thought is30

"How pathetic must i be31

where my cat is the only one who'll ever love me?"32

There must be something horribly wrong33

if the only thing in this wide world of ours that loves me unconditionaly34

doesnt even have apposable thumbs.35

If people cant bring themselves to stand by my side,36

how can i bear to look in the mirror?