Blog: Why can’t I be like everyone else?
Yes, I know that’s not the normal way to start a blog, but this isn’t the first day of anything, and it’s my blog so I’ll do what I want! Bugger, now I sound completely like some cocky dominatrix or something, you know one of those leather, spiky heels and a great big whip types. Or do I mean Margaret Thatcher? Don’t mention that name in this house, not if you want your mother to still feed you. So, as I was saying, what’s normal? Am I normal? Regular? Midi? Isnt’ that just coffee? I doubt it. I’ll never be completely normal, not with this skin, hair and the specs, OMG don’t mention the specs. Do I sound like a walking cliché? Probably. So, not totally regular. Not that I’m like a nerd or anything, don’t know enough about laptops to fix them, that’s geekland anyway. Sorry, digressing as my English teacher Ms A (she’d like to be normal but definitely isn’t) is always telling me. So, you want to know who I am? In Year 7 French we had to write a fact file about ourselves (and mais oui I did say my favourite food was custard) won’t bore you with that again….1
Name: Poppy Love (seriously) might not be the name I was saddled with by my amazingly still together bonkers parents (that was Angela for some reason) but I’ve called myself Poppy for years now. Even Nana G’s given in.2
Physical Description: not tall enough, not blonde enough, dishwater eyes, bad skin, pale and evident blackheads – and I’m sure I found a wrinkle yesterday as well. Too fat for anyone’s liking and nothing special in any of those erogenous zones either. I’m already saving up for the surgery. My mate Deebo bought me a special moneybox, it’s supposed to be for botox but she adapted it. They sell them in the gift section at Debenhams next to the personal shopper dolls, the ones that should look like Gok Wan.3
Likes: reading, occasionally I may break out into perfectly constructed sentences because I read A LOT. Not just rubbish either; I’m not into Chick Lit or even Mr Darcy. We had to do Pride and Prejudice as part of our special study and I hated the bloody thing. Why does it take ten pages for drippy Lizzy Bennett to climb down from a carriage and say ‘Good morning Mr Darcy’ in that simpering girly way? Ms A made us sit through that BBC thing, the one that gets women of a certain age all hot when Colin Firth appears in his wet pants. Ms A had to sit down. So you can stick your Chick Lit, Ms A would kill me for calling the sainted Jane Chick Lit, but it is.
Anyway, you don’t really need to know much about me; I’m not interesting. In fact I probably have the most uncool life ever. Nothing and I mean nothing of any interest whatsoever has ever happened or is likely to happen to me. I live in Cheshire for God’s sake – Cheshire! I still go to school, but not for that much longer, only two full terms left now. I’ve done all my applications. I know where I want to go, and I’m going to get there. 4
There you have it – completely uncool. I daresay if I lived in small town America’s equivalent I’d at least be driving myself to school and be able to look moderately cool in my casual style but no. We have to wear a uniform; can you believe it, in this day and age? (sorry, cliché alert) A school uniform! Not one of those titillating Britney Spears types either thank you very much before anyone gets any ideas, we wear black. At least it keeps the Goths quiet, that is when they’re not moping about scratching themselves and claiming the world hates their little stripy-gloved existence. I’d just let them get on with it. What I don’t get is their fascination with morbidity and don’t get me started on their bands. Honestly, all those piercings and guyliner. I’m not adverse to the odd tattoo, but I have to draw the line at pierced tongues and nipples. Makes your eyes water just thinking about where else they have the metal. Ouch!
Suppose they think they’re cool in their own way, so good luck to them. They’re something I’ll never be. And do I care? Yes, I suppose I do. I’d love to be Ms Megapopular but it’s never going to happen. No lad really looks beyond my homework. Did I mention I’m on for all As. Thing is, I may not be coolly beautiful, but I am clever, not that it gets me anywhere with anyone.
Author notes
This is the opening of a blog story about a girl whose ambition leads her into infernal realms, a devil who isn't quite what he seems and their relationship - please tell me if it's a credible narrative voice.
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I like this...it's different and cool to get inside this teenagers head. It's very opininated which I love...the narrator is quite bitter which is entertaining. I'd look forward to see how the devil is introduced...one thing that put me off a bit was the format...maybe put it inti paragraphs?
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Love the title. It made me click.
I think it is a great start. Interesting enough to keep a person reading. I wish it had been spaced out a little more, maybe a double space between paragraphs or an indention just for ease of reading.
Still it kept my attention -
Right, right, right
Okay. So, this is really good so far! I like how the girl seems to think she's nothing special. Yes, in some parts it does sound cliche but I think that's what makes it special. I can't wait to read more, and I expect you can't wait to write more about it. Where did you get such an insperation for this? As I annoyingly keep saying this is good, which is probably why I'm reading it. Yes, I know that sounds rather rude but why else would I be commenting or anyone else for that matter? Questions!
Ink ~ -
OMG!
This was amazing! I enjoyed every single bit of it. I sometimes feel like that. It made me want to keep reading. Please carry on the blog, I feel as though its a bit like me.
I loved it! I love the characters and the setting. I'm in Year 7 too! And I'm counting down the days till the end of term.
This is amazing (sorry I've already said that), but I love it (I've said that as well)
I would just say though, you could have down with bigger gaps in between paragraphs (sorry, I've forgotten what you call them now...) because I kept getting confused.
Lolly x
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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Brilliant!
I loved this piece. I will certainly be looking out for more. I love how she has the brains and the voice but is still just not heard by alot of people.
And the guyliner? Typical teen phrase. I always use it myself when my friends steal my eyeliner.
The beginning of it is really good and it just gets you really into. When you reach around the middle part and she's saying about how the Goths are obsessed/fascinated with morbidity is funny. The end is also good because it makes you wonder - what'll happen next?
Poppy's character is really realistic and I can relate - I know about those dreaded specs. Haha.
Anyway, my overall verdict is great beginning to a story.
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I like it! I hope you continue on, it seemed to be a very interesting story, I like the character, how she is so open, and realistic about herself. Good job!
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Awesome! Love the flow...
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A very unusual writing style. Good original choice on that one.
I like your character, feels very much real and human, full of strenght and weakness at the same time.
Outstanding comparision throughout the text with a hint of humour.
I like the fact that is very emotional with a touch of jelousy and complaining yet engaging and enjoyable.
Good work. -
Haha... that's quite some blog...
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Umm.. is this gonna be a fantasy?
It's good writing but i dunno if it's gonna lead to where you want it to go. I read all that, then read the whole alternate realms and had to back up. I know you mentioned it, but it did sound a little clecheyed (is that a word?). Your character has life, but her life is a bit cliche, do you get what i mean?
Your writing style is funny, and true in so many ways. Some of the references i didn't quite get, like Chick Lit.. but i obviously haven't read Pride and Prejudice.
I actually really like the sound of where this is going, but to be honest, this section was funny, but quite boring. I just wanna start hearing about this devil dude, and infernal realms. If it's meant to be a fantasy, it doesn't seem to have a fantasy feel about it. (NOT to be cleche)It doesn't stand out or jar me, but i think that's the story, not you. It should be more revealing about her character. That's the problem about the blog style, blog's show life events and surface feelings, the reader can't hear the thoughts churning inside the characters head, though it may be written like it were thoughts. It's not really personal enough.
But i really can't wait until you get into the Devil stuff, i'll make sure i keep an eye out for it, Gud Luck.
- Melissabeginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 2, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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This ones got some sizzle. It's the best I've read on the site. Stay with it and happy trails neighbor.
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Very likeable character
A very easy read, it flowed so smoothly.
I thought you brought the character to life very well. I for one would love to read on and see what happens to her in the main narrative part of the story.
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so far, it is really good, and if there is more too it, send me the link! i want to read more. lol. i really like it. it kinda made me laugh at some parts. i love how it starts as a blog... is the whole story going to be like that, or just this one part? really look forward to reading more!
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I love it. I've never read a story in blog form. It makes it more interesting. I found no editing needed. It flowed very nicely. Grammar was flawless. Your grammar is phenomenal. It seems like this girls life sucks. Someone could relate to this. I can't wait to read more. Write more soon please. Keep working hard and some day it will pay off.
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a bit random at first admitedly but quite amusing.. i can relate to the school uniform.. we have t wear it here and if we are out of it we get uniform detention... what kind of person comes up with 'uniforn detention'!?
any ways, like to hear more.
goood job.
cheers
Hunter~
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I have to admit that at first I wasn't sure what to think. It sounded random and a bit... all over, if you know what I mean. But while I was reading forward, I kind of started liking it. It's very different from the usual stories you read these days, and it gives some amazing insight of this character. And the humor is good; not too offensive but not completely clean either.
You might want to work with it a bit; maybe shorten some pointes that repeat itself. It's a lot to read for a narrative, but definately a good one when you finish it.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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Chick lit? That made me laugh. This is such an entertaining and humorous piece. The narrator is realistic and likeable. Great write
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Good start
I think it does ramble on a bit. You might want to shorten the narrative so you don't lose the reader. I think some of it gave good insight into the character and was told with good humor.
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Although I must say the character is quite random, I rather like the humor. It has the feel of a teen novel, which I presume was your purpose.
Here are a few quotes I laughed at:
"At least it keeps the Goths quiet, that is when they’re not moping about scratching at themselves and claiming the world hates their little stripy-gloved existence."
- Quite humorous, I must say..
"I live in Cheshire for God’s sake – Cheshire!"
- I think it's the punctuation that made me laugh.. Is that weird?
"Why does it take ten pages for drippy Lizzy Bennett to climb down from a carriage and say ‘Good morning Mr Darcy’ in that simpering girly way she has?"
- First of all, I love english humor. And you're so right.. I found that funny.
"Not one of those titillating Britney Spears types either thank you very much before anyone gets any ideas,"
- Haahaha, if I didn't see that one coming...
" Too fat for anyone’s liking and nothing special in any of those erogenous zones either. I’m already saving up for the surgery." LMAO
"Or do I mean Margaret Thatcher? Don’t mention that name in this house, not if you want your mother to still feed you."
- I actually did research on that woman.. And that is funny. The only thing that sounded off in that quote is "..in THIS house, not if you want YOUR mother to still feed you". The capitalized words make it comfusing since they don't coinside. It sounds like the reader is living in the house or is a relative to the speaker. Although I knew what you meant, I would suggest some revision there too.
As for the rest, I can't wait till you get further into it It made me laugh. Or maybe that's not the hard part lol... I laugh at everything so.. anyway.
Good start, I can't wait to read more But you will probably have to message me to remind me to read it. My memory fails me every so often...
Toodles!
Ana
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