“What were you expecting?”1
“What was I expecting? I was expecting to be told I was wrong; that what I was feeling was wrong. I was expecting to be told I’d lost all reason. I was expecting to be told what I should do; what I should feel. I was expecting to be told that I was crazy. That the dichotomy I saw was false and that there was another, better way.2
“I was expecting to be told that to love didn’t necessarily mean to fall in love. That I could care without hurting and being hurt. I was expecting to learn. I was expecting some kind of wise counsel, to extricate me from this situation. I was expecting to hear that I should stay; that I should return to my senses. I was expecting you to try to persuade me to go back.3
“I was expecting to hear that I cared too much, or for the wrong things, or not enough. 4
“What was I expecting? Before I came here, I was broken. I was expecting to be fixed. Instead, I find myself more broken than ever. I wasn’t expecting to find that I could never be mended, never be whole again. I was expecting guidance, direction, answers. Instead...I wasn’t expecting you to accept my feelings.”5
“Yes. I should have told you that.”6
“It’s too late for me now. I won’t be coming back to therapy.”7
“No. Your treatment is complete.”
A contest entry
- Trophies for the Trophy-less by May Kingston.
175 points, ended May 24, 72 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Good Job
This is a nice piece, it gets across the point well. I liked it. The line about therapy wraps it up nicely too.
Well done. -
Haha, even though I already read this, I love it even the second time reading it. I love this story. Great job! Thank you for entering-- I am seriously honored.
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Very well done.
Until the penultimate line, I thought this was a couple 'at war' with each other.
A good twist to a good conversation.
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Now that is something else.. words from two that lets us see into a therapy session. Great job with this.
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XD
thats it, thats all i have to say... -
that was deep. i love it. i wasnt expecting the person to be in therapy considering the fact that the person knew what he/she was going to hear. very nice i wonder what prompted you to write this.
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Thanks
It's pretty much what I wished I'd said to someone who was "meant" to give me some useful advice. I managed about a one sentence response, in the same general style, but missed an opportunity to make my point more poetically and emphatically. If I could go back, this is how I would like to have replied. It wasn't therapy, but I just threw that in there to wrap this scene into something resembling a story.
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Very good, I wasn't expecting the person to be in therapy, I thought they were just telling their ex this or something like that
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Therapy
Is liars pretending that they care.
Horrible users who should be shot.
legal thieves.
Straight hate to all who advertise therapy.
Die scum.
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i like the way you wrote this, i know alot of people have said that but really, its good. it flows alone nicly! and the way you make the characters express there feelings!
like it!!
~Masked-face xxx -
Good Job!
Your style demonstrates the subjects frustration well. -
weird
only the very last line of your submission put the rest of the article into perspective. I didn't know what to make of it untill i read that last line. If this was intended then good job if not then perhaps you should look at it again.beginning: 2, language: 2, plot: 1, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 1.
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Hurrrayyyyy!
Bravo. I like this. And why do I like this? Because it is so true that the power to change lies nowhere but inside of each one of us. We can have the most potent people fixers possible pervade our mental perambulations per diem only to find the truth of the old adage "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." Even deity is powerless to help us until we take the first step of faith and own ourselves. We can give ourselves to no one, lest we first be listed on the title to our soul.
I thought this was great and did very much enjoy the sentiments shared. Cheers, bro.
al
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I have to say hats off to you. I really like your way of writing, your flow is verry nice, I liked the way that the narrator expressed his/her feelings. Hats off to you.
-Mimi
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I know exactly how the patient feels. I know how that is... to go to someone and ask for help, only to find that there is no help to be found. You are so messed up inside that you almost wish that you *were* crazy just so then someone would be there for you, and you would know that there was always the chance of recovery. But to be told that there is nothing wrong with you can sometimes be worse than being told you are crazy, because that means your thoughts and feelings are not as true as you thought they were. Then you realize that maybe you are just a whiny little kid looking for attention, or maybe you realize that your problems aren't as big as you thought they were. And that breaks you even more, to hear that you wasted all that emotional effort just to find that it is not as bad as you thought it was, that in comparison to so many other people, you are really just weak. And that may be one thing that *will* cause you to go over in the end... just the knowledge that there was never anything wrong when you thought there was.
Or maybe I am over-thinking it. I don't know. Anyway, I love this story, even though it is really short. You really captured the feeling of the situation, and all in such a small story... which, in this case, makes it all the better. Good job.
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this is very interresting
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This is a nice story. I really like your style. It's very unique and artistic.
My only quip is your use of quotations. I feel like they're unnecessary.
Otherwise, good job.
Cheers.
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Thanks for your comment. I didn't expect anyone to read this since I hadn't publicised it or put it into a contest or anything yet.
This is (sort of) the answer I wished I'd given to the question in the opening statement. I wasn't in therapy or anything, but I was seeking "wise counsel" - so it's interesting to think what I would have said might have been unique and artistic.
I always try to stick to strictly correct grammatical form, hence the quotation usage. If I was writing poetry I might have considered a more open approach.
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