Alice gazed at Bella Memorized.She threw Bella's duffel bag or sports equipment on the hard grassy baseball field Charlie had suggested they go practice in ever since the Cullen's had decided to make every thunder storm a family day.1
Alice had decided it be best to teach Bella how to play or more so pressure her into practice so that One day, if the time ever came she too would be able to enjoy the adrenaline that was baseball -vampire style.2
At first Edward had tried to dampen her plan at first. Remembering the last time that they had a family fame of baseball in the summer. The 'game' that had started everything. The 'hunt' they almost lost Bella too. It seemed so long ago now and Edward had come around-eventually. In Edwards eyes, Bella would be safe with Alice.3
Bella bent over scraping her hands along the rigid pitch.4
"Seems so long ago now," she muttered. Her memories sparking panic in her that had not been ignited since the day of the 'game.'5
Alice stood still. Her eyes unable to stop staring as the tips of Bella's breast swelled.6
Bella looked up, sniffing. She could smell a familiar scent. A scent that made her body hot and her heart beat wildly. Her eyes focused, staring out behind Alice.7
Distracted, Alice twirled around to see Edward standing behind her. So close she could feel his cold breath against her own icy skin.8
"We all have our desires Alice. I pray you know how to keep yours grounded,' he smiled crookedly. His voice polite, but waning none the less.9
Edward stepped past Alice scooping Bella into his arms and laughed teasingly. He Brushed her loose strands of hair out of her eyes, tucking them behind her ears.10
"So are you to Ready for a game of baseball?" he asked excited. 11
Alice faked a smile while inside she was cringing from Edwards display of affection. It made her stomach knot.12
"Practice yes. Play no," Bella stated. "Early days. You know I suck at this, I suck at everything," she said half-heatedly.13
Alice took a step towards Edward and Bella. Her smile did not waver. She bent down. Hiding her sadness from Edward. 14
He was so lucky to have her. So lucky to have Bella.15
"Practice makes perfect Bella. All good things take time. In the end they are worth the wait," Alice lingered.16
"Or in her case- better," Edward stated.17
Bella nodded letting her hands fall in Edwards. TheY stood silently swaying.18
"Alright Alice said cheerfully. "Batter up. Who want's to go first."19
...
Author notes
Part Two of my Fan-Fiction.
What do you think of Part 2..
shall I keep writing.
Am I catching your attention?
To Be Continued...
In a list
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Definately should continue!!! Keep it up, looking for more now. Hope there is more to this!
it's amazing so far!
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If only Alice met Bella first. I wonder if Bella is a lesbian...
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I think that part one was better... but this was interesting and inventive, too. I look forward to reading more of your stories, as always. I must say, though... you have a great way of describing things and making them seem more real than they really are. I think you and Stephenie would probably be good friends... she wouldn't like you making her characters different, but I think she would like your style. And that would be cool... she could get you signed. haha
I will continue reading more later on... but for now, I shall leave it at this and talk to you again later. I enjoyed this as I enjoy all of your other stories and hope to read more of it as soon as I sign back on later in the day. -
You have caught my attention
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Very good and aye you have my attention.
Question though, you really think Alice can hide her sadness from Edward?
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I so want more i want to know what will happer in your version.
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I want more! Alice like this is such a twist!
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Wow, I think that this was just freaking awesome! I seriously can't get guys sometimes..sigh...dang you edward!! Alice is such a sweetheart. I love the title, too...so interesting!! Well, I can't wait for the next chapter! You really have mad talent!
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Aww, i feel bad for Alice. Edward just plain gets on my nerves.
Cannot wait for the next chapter. This story is just getting better. -
You're catching my attention, I just wish this part were a little longer.
*wants more*
--Aden
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Nice character interplay
The tension between the characters is palpable, and reads really well and most convincingly ^_^ Slight word errors; on 9, you've missed the 'r' in 'warning' and have written 'waning' instead; on 1 you've written 'memorized' where I think you mean 'mesmerized'. Nice work on keeping ties to the source material, the reflection on past events in particular gives a solidity to the piece.
There's a lot that can be done with this, so I definitely think you should continue.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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