Salami Sandwich

Mumbling, I grabbed the pink and blue stripe phone off the cord, and began to dial the numbers (563-23850). Angrily, I began to mumble to myself as I worded what my lips were to say to this mongrel, once he answered on the other line, said hello, and waited for a response. I knew he was going to pick up because he was always home at this hour and he didn’t have caller I.D., which works out perfectly when your about to bad mouth someone for something horrible they did earlier that day, around 7 AM. 1

The pink and blue striped phone rang through my ears at least three times, before a woman’s voice answered sounding annoyed and slightly angered by the way I had called at such a random hour (10:13, it was). I thought back to that day before I said anything necessary to the conversation that was about to take place between me and this woman, whom I did not know at this particular moment. 2

What happened was; I had placed a salami sandwich in the freezer, that’s right, the freezer, that morning so that I, Katie Lynn Trees, may have a lunch to eat that day, because the day before, I had forgotten my lunch packed with snacks and goodies that my mother used to pack for me when I was a young one, and when I went to grab the paper brown bag, it was no longer in it comfortable resting place I had placed it in that morning at precisely 6:45 A.M.. I went hunting the office, searching through all the mini fridges, and once I came across Charles Lee Raff’s desk, I knew it had been him that had eaten my lunch that morning, even though I knew I could always go out and get a hamburger from the café just below our floor, which was called McDonalds, but I hated that place, I’d eaten too much of it in the last few days.3

I had stupidly, and meanly, taken the liberty to search every inch of his desk, finding nothing that looked like my sandwich, but I knew that Charles Lee Raff had taken my salami sandwich, and I wasn’t about to let it go unnoticed, so, I stood on his rolling chair and called out to the office, “Charles stole my lunch, and now, I have no money for the lunch I need to get, how do you feel about that fellow workers?”, or something along those lines. 4

I brought myself back into the pink and blue striped phone and began to ramble off what I had thought I was going to say before this woman had picked up the phone, then I realized this wasn’t Charles Lee Raff, so I asked who it was, and she replied she was his wife Sarah, I asked to speak to Charles Lee Raff and she handed the phone to him… I think. I then repeated what I had said to Charles Lee Raff’s wife, Sarah, and nothing came from the other end of the phone, then I asked if anyone was there, finally Charles Lee Raff responded with a grunt. 5

I tried to calm myself, telling myself that it was okay, and he would never do it, again, but I knew he would, because that’s what people like Charles Lee Raff do in this world, they steal other peoples lunches and then don’t admit to it, even after I had pegged him with the utter confusion that I had rambled off in a hurry to go to sleep with my long time husband, Lancers Markus Theodore Smith, then I remembered what I had called for. I asked if he was still there, and Charles Lee Raff replied with a yes. 6

I waited for what seemed like eternity, watching the newly paint red walls of my house dry, then I remember I didn’t have any socks on, so, I would have to be careful when I left not to shock anyone if I touched them, like my children of the ages of 4 and 8 and 16. I scratched my head in frustration, and then asked again if anyone was there. Charles Lee Raff replied quickly saying, “Katie, you do know it’s a Sunday, right?” so, I dropped the phone on the floor and pressed the ‘end’ button, feeling tears start run down my face as I fell asleep in my bed. 7