The world that is my life- Stevies POV

I'm sorry Jen, tyhis might not be rightly accurate to you, but this is how I was during those times with you, love you Jen! My memory is stuffed up a bit because I tend to block out emotional shit.1

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13th December 20083

Lying in bed with my bestmate, she's snoring, as usual, I'm rolling back and forth, back and forth, once I'm awake, I'm awake. 4

I kick the blanket off, I remember it being an arsehole of a day, it was hot.5

I go to the toilet then climb back into bed with Jen, just fucking great, period.6

There is a knock at Jens bedroom door, it's Tracey, Jens mum.7

"Honey, Jen are you awake?"Tracey asks.8

"Yo, come in."I say and Jen replies yes.9

Tracey walks in and I know something bad is going to happen, the look on her face, I can feel Jen is going to be hurt today.10

"What?"Jen asks, wipping the sleep from her eyes.11

"Honey, you know how Grandad is sick and in hospital?"Tracey says and Jen nods, her lip trembling.12

Tracey sits beside Jen on the bed.13

"Your dad called and said that the doctors said that grandpa wont make it much longer."Tracey says in her sympathic voice, I rest my hand on Jens shoulder.14

"How, why?"Jen asks.15

"He's not acting like poppy honey, he didn't even recondnise nanna."Tracey says and I can't say anything.16

"How long?"Jen asks.17

"They say he wont make it to Christmas."Tracey says grimly.18

"CHRISTMAS!?! BUT THATS NEXT WEEK!"Jen cries out in outrage.19

"I'm sure he'll be like you're uncle Chris, and make it for years."Tracey says and Jen tries to put on a brave smile.20

"Yeah."Jen says.21

"Are you okay honey?"Tracey asks and she nods, giving her mum a big hug.22

I remember going and having a shower, hanging with Bill wicked Juggullo music and dancing with Jen, drinking a cruiser and dancing with Jess and Jen.23

Then sitting outside and dancing to techno instead of old music, with Jen, waiting for Jens dad.24

He comes in his big car and we run over, Jo isn't here, neither is Taylor.25

He seems grim, I don't think Jen notices, but I do, I have a feeling its gonna be bad news since he was with him in hospital, Jess and Craig went to see him earlier in the day, Jess cried because her pop wasn't himself.26

I let Jen drag me into the house and out the back yard with her dad, the look on traceys face and Jess's when he talks to them screams trouble.27

I go into the lounge computer area and listen, transfer music from bills CD collection.28

Jen comes in and I can see it in her face, she's gonna balls soon.29

"Can I run away now? Can I run?"She breathes, her voice shuddering.30

I shake my head, I don't want her to ever leave me.31

"No."I say and a tear slips down her cheek and she falls to the ground.32

I run to her and hug her, asking her whats wrong.33

"He's gone, poppy is gone."She sobs and I hold her as she shrugs everyone else off.34

It had to happen the night of Jess' going away party didn't it?35

I let her go as her Dad comes in and she hugs him, crying.36

The rest of the ngith is blurred because I was asleep.37

28th December38

Jen, Sharni, Rob and Dad take me to the airport, Jen is telling me I better come back, I have to agree with her.39

Noming on a cherry ripe and drinking fanta, I scratch Jens head, waiting for the plane.40

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I get to Melbourne, home, and I notice Jamie in a wolf shirt, and an incredibly skinny mother walking towards me.42

She hugs me, shes too skinny grr.43

Crystal and Talan run up to me and I give them big hugs as I chat to everyone, I missed them.44

I give Jamie a brief hug and we go home, this is wicked to be back where I grew up again.45

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New years47

I have a cruiser, and a few wines, sitting and chatting with mum, curled up on the couch, she looks like a freaking twig, but I love her no matter how wierd she is.48

I go to sleep after midnight....49

Brrr Brr, I open my bleary eyes at one o'clock, its a call from Shorty.50

Sharni and Shorty complain about how dad hit on Shorty and crap, but I tell them to call me in the morning I'm too tired. Shorty is old enough to take care of herself.51

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Mum and Sharni chat on the phone and shit, they press charges on dad for assulting sharni, turns out he only gave her a kiss on the cheek for new years.53

Mum and Jamie try brainwashing me into staying, it does feel like home, but I can't betray dad.54

I text Jen 'You're gonna hate me'55

'Why would I hate you' She texts back.56

'I might be staying in melb, it feels like home.' I text back57

"You can do this to me' she sends with a sad face.58

I begin to cry.59

God damn it, I hate being so torn.60

MUm is trying to brainwash me against dad in her drunken form, she drinks to carm her hyperactive nerves.61

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Back in Perth, yay.63

So thats how I felt, if you hadn't noticed, that is my view, I will always be there for Jen, even if I have to find a cliff to jump off to get at you. Love you Jen.