As I walked down the aisle, he suddenly went rigid in his seat. He stared at me again, meeting my eyes with the strangest expression on his face. I looked away quickly, turning a delicate shade of pink. I didn't like him staring. 1
I kept my eyes firmly down as I went to sit by him, utterly bewildered by the intense stare he had given me. I didn't look up as I set my book on the table and took my seat, but I saw his posture change from the corner of my eye. He was leaning toward me, sitting on the extreme edge of his chair and averting his face like he was embarrassed. Clenched tightly between his semi-tanned fingertips, was a letter. 2
Very slowly, I reached for it. The boy seemed less than willing to give it to me, but I was in no mood for a whispered argument. I held out my hand again, closer than before. Sighing heavily, he dropped it into my strangely sweaty palm. I didn't quite understand this feeling I was getting. And why, why-o-why, was I suddenly blushing?!3
As I opened the letter, the boy cocked his head; an endless stream of curiosity brimming in his eyes. But he said nothing. Intrigued by this reaction, I began to read:4
I apologize in advance for not being able to quite pluck up the courage to speak with you in person. But if you do not feel the same, my heart could not bear the rejection. Honestly, I never saw "I love you" as a personal trend because as a boy, I just don't work like that. I mean what I say when it leaves my lips, so I am saying to you, my love, I cannot live without you. You are the air I breathe, the sun I yearn for and your beauty is more timeless than a clock on standstill. Please, will you be mine? Forever yours, Jay.5
My heart skipped a beat; I couldn't breathe. A sheer wave of hormones clouded my better judgement as I fumbled for a pen. He watched, horrified, as I scribbled eagerly on the edge of the note: Yes, Jay. Forever.6
I handed it back to him, a wild sense of frenzied adrenaline coursing through my veins. He cocked his head again as his eyes scanned briefly over my response. His mouth formed a distinct 'O' shape before he finally responded.7
"Violet, I'm so sorry. Didn't you read the name in the top corner? It was for your friend, Cindy. I was hoping you would give it to her for me." 8
A strange, eerie silence followed after that. His hazel eyes were filled with guilt and concern as the feeling of stupidity swelled within me. My shoulders sagged, my lip quivered and the ill-gotten love note stung like acid in my hand. I heard it crackle angrily beneath my fingers and Jay's poor cry of dismay as I tossed it out the window. Tears brimming over, I bolted for the door.9
I kept my eyes firmly down as I went to sit by him, utterly bewildered by the intense stare he had given me. I didn't look up as I set my book on the table and took my seat, but I saw his posture change from the corner of my eye. He was leaning toward me, sitting on the extreme edge of his chair and averting his face like he was embarrassed. Clenched tightly between his semi-tanned fingertips, was a letter. 2
Very slowly, I reached for it. The boy seemed less than willing to give it to me, but I was in no mood for a whispered argument. I held out my hand again, closer than before. Sighing heavily, he dropped it into my strangely sweaty palm. I didn't quite understand this feeling I was getting. And why, why-o-why, was I suddenly blushing?!3
As I opened the letter, the boy cocked his head; an endless stream of curiosity brimming in his eyes. But he said nothing. Intrigued by this reaction, I began to read:4
I apologize in advance for not being able to quite pluck up the courage to speak with you in person. But if you do not feel the same, my heart could not bear the rejection. Honestly, I never saw "I love you" as a personal trend because as a boy, I just don't work like that. I mean what I say when it leaves my lips, so I am saying to you, my love, I cannot live without you. You are the air I breathe, the sun I yearn for and your beauty is more timeless than a clock on standstill. Please, will you be mine? Forever yours, Jay.5
My heart skipped a beat; I couldn't breathe. A sheer wave of hormones clouded my better judgement as I fumbled for a pen. He watched, horrified, as I scribbled eagerly on the edge of the note: Yes, Jay. Forever.6
I handed it back to him, a wild sense of frenzied adrenaline coursing through my veins. He cocked his head again as his eyes scanned briefly over my response. His mouth formed a distinct 'O' shape before he finally responded.7
"Violet, I'm so sorry. Didn't you read the name in the top corner? It was for your friend, Cindy. I was hoping you would give it to her for me." 8
A strange, eerie silence followed after that. His hazel eyes were filled with guilt and concern as the feeling of stupidity swelled within me. My shoulders sagged, my lip quivered and the ill-gotten love note stung like acid in my hand. I heard it crackle angrily beneath my fingers and Jay's poor cry of dismay as I tossed it out the window. Tears brimming over, I bolted for the door.9
A contest entry
- Your Love Moments by Kyndal Laran.
100 points, ended May 10, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Give me some Love. by eelyah21.
210 points, ended May 1, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Love Makes the World Spin 'Round by VioletConcept.
325 points, ended May 17, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Wow Me! by vamplover22907.
100 points, ended May 9, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Make it Feel Real! (Points Will Go Up) by May Kingston.
375 points, ended May 30, 23 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
So what did you think? Was it emotionally impacting?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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aw...oh! Hahaha X}poor girl. did this happen to you Violet?


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Woah! Didn't see that coming. XD That must've stung big time. I can't even imagine something like that happening to me. Stupid boy... I would have been so pissed if I had been that socially mortified just because a stupid boy had not properly addressed and folded a note. I mean, if I were him, I would have folded the note up as small as I could and written the name on it in big, bold letters and passed it to her directly. I mean, seriously! Was he too chicken to even give a fricking note to her directly? I would have been furious. I know I already said that, but still! Anyway, great story. This was really realistic-- I can SO see this happening.
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Ouch! That hurt, I totally senced the main characters feelings. Even though I am not a hopeless romantic this made me feel all gushy then liquified by a blender.


beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Good story by the way..don't think anything wrong about my comment.
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At first it was a bit boring, because I thought the girl and the boy would end up liking each other, as in any other story, but poor girl...it really was so unfair to her.
At the same time, I wouldn't blatantly show that I had expected the letter was addressed to me, I would simply laugh and tease him a little, and pretend as if I had known it all along.

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Yeah quite true
No lol that's fine. I appreciate honesty. I find it refreshing. Besides you liked my other stories so no sweat.
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OH MY GOD! I did not see that coming at all! Poor Violet... or me? I love this, though it sucks for Violet. :/ It was funny... in a mean way. I didn't expect this at all! Very, very nice read.
-Vio
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Haha
Thanx so much. It is rather a twisted and unexpected ending isn't it?
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This made a good read. The ending, unexpected, but then again, proper, it suits the awkward, age... Heh. Takes me back to the good old days, when I... wait. Now that I think about it, that was 20 years ago. Ugh. Now I'm starting to feel old...


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Haha
Oh no! Not old lol. Heaven forbid!
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awwww
boys can be so stupid, lol. I thought it was awesome and flowed perfectly, the twist at the end made it a really interesting read. Although i get the feeling this happened in real life, i think you should make it into a novel or something, I like it that much.

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dude!!!!! a very neat twist to the end!!! ahh!!!! i would've ran out of the door to!!! HUMILIATION, EMOTIONAL IMPACT FOR SURE, THE ENDED ROMANCE THAT LASTED 7 MINUTES. wow, just wow.


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Thanx
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Woah...totally didn't see that coming. it was set up so perfectly then...WHAM!...where'd that come from? I love stories liek that. Good job.


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haha
You just keep on commenting lolz. I'm so glad I have a fan
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comment from judge of make it sparkle
sososo sadd! but i loved it, this is defenetly going in the finalist catagory, CONGRATS! -
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Thanyou very much;)
I appreciate you taking the time to reading it. It's so nice to get such lovely comments!
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