She stepped out of the shower; water ran down her legs to collect in little puddles on the floor, reminding her that she needs to get a bath mat. She would have stayed in the shower longer; if possible, she would have stay in there forever. The water was always so relaxing, especially after a night like last night. But eventually, the pleas of her stomach and the continuous cramp in her right calf muscle, made her relent. So reluctantly she turned off the faucet and watched the water spin down the drain. She grabbed a towel to dry herself, tussling her hair, its new length made it fun to play with. She wrapped the towel around her, and leaned over to rub her leg. She wondered what she did last night to make it so sore. Then speaking out loud to herself, she said what she always says at moments like these. 1
“I really shouldn’t of had that last drink.” 2
In all actuality she knew she probably shouldn’t have had the last few drinks, but she wouldn’t admit it out loud. She did a quick once over in the mirror, sprayed some vitamin stuff into her hair; the woman at the counter said it would make her hair healthier and give it a “natural shine,” she knew it probably wouldn’t work, but couldn’t resist buying it, it was, after all, thirty percent off, then she made her way into the bedroom to get something to wear. After an inquiry of what was clean, she chose her low cut jeans and her favorite black Billabong tank top. 3
Now to get some food, on her way to the kitchen she stopped by the doorway to re-hang the poster that had startled her awake at 9:30 that morning. Reaching up made her aware of the tension in her shoulder blades, again making her wonder what all she had done last night... and WHAT was that smell? Following her nose, she inched her way towards the source. As she got closer, a progressive thought made its way from the back of her mind. 4
“THE CHINESE FOOD!!” 5
It must have been three or four days now, she had ordered take out from the restaurant down the street, and didn’t realize they given her the wrong thing until she had gotten home. She had ordered her favorite, chicken lo mien, and THAT was definitely NOT chicken lo mien, in fact she couldn’t really identify what it was suppose to be. But still having paid for it, and still being hungry, she picked through it, hoping the meaty pieces she ate where chicken... or maybe beef? Then she threw the rest away, telling herself she would take out the trash tomorrow. 6
Guess what she forgot. 7
She quickly removed the trash; her sense of smell was rather acute this morning, so she needed to get rid of the garbage FAST. She pondered how amusing she must look to the passerby, as she sprinted to the dumpster holding the bag as far away from her as humanly possible, stumbling on the rocks, as it was too bright for her to keep her eyes open for long. 8
When she got back into the apartment, her stomach, not so gently, reminded her of her original task. She some how thought, that the smell would have persuaded her stomach to forget about its complaints, but that wasn’t happening. Looking through her cabinets she decided on a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, it’s good for your heart she thought, then muttered “bee healthy.” She shook her head at herself and was suddenly very happy she didn’t have a roommate. She poured the cereal into a bowl, smelled the milk, “still good,” and poured it in with a circular motion until there was enough to lift all the pieces from the bottom. Grabbing a spoon, she went, sat on the couch and turned on the TV, just in time for the morning news. She loved watching the weather, in some weird way knowing the temperature seem to decide what type of day she was going to have, that and the weather man was cute. She propped her feet up on the nearby stool, slouched down on the cushion, and ate a huge spoonful of Cheerios. She was on her third bite when the faces of two men were shown on the screen behind the news woman. She put the fourth bite back in the bowl. 9
“I know those guys,” she said as she sat back up, and place the bowl on the end table. “They were at the bar last night. That one’s name is… is…Jason! He was the one that ordered me the kamikaze shot. The other one is his friend Chris; he bought me that shot with the sexual name. What was it called again? Sex on the beach? No. Alien secretion? No. Buttery Nipple?…Yeah! That was it!” 10
She picked up the remote to turn up the volume, until she could hear the news-person clearly 11
“Police found them early this morning. The coroner’s report says the cause of death was a severe beating with a hard flat object. At the moment the families have been notified, and police are on the trail of the killer. Back to you Bob.” 12
She sat stunned. “Wow, that’s so sad, they were such nice guys, I wonder who would do something like that?” Her thoughts floated back to the night at the bar. The conversations she had with Jason, playing pool with Chris. Then another memory came floating back, as sharp as the pounding on her door. 13
“OPEN UP, POLICE!”14
Author notes
May the force be with you
A contest entry
- Diversity Goes by IvoryRose.
155 points, ended July 19, 2006, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
interesting idea. i'd be interested in reading what happened the night before at the bar and how she did it. it was interesting. I liked the details.
-
That's most definately creepy. It's very well written and very intirguing. I was drawn in from the very beggining and you held me to the end. You also did a good job of startling me with the ending quickly but not too rushed. That's a skill...good write. and good luck.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
-
HAHA!!!Creepy. I love the descriptive quality of it.
-
Wow, very creepy, loved it!
-
MOM. I know know where my talent for writing comes from.
lol Anyway, this was amazing. I loved it. You HAVE to write some more. I'm sitting here chewing my fingernails trying to imagine the ending to it. ARGH! Anywho, its amazing. Love it love it love it.
Love your loyal daughter,
Michelle
-
Thank you hun for the comment. And it's not ALL true, but you do write better when you write what you know
lol
HONEY NUT CHEERIOS RULE!! Well I'll talk to ya later Sweetheart.
Love,
Grandma Cougar -
WOW...this sent chills up my spine! I was drawn in the minuate i started reading it. WOW. kinda creepy! and OMG..i LOVE HONEY NUT CHEERIOS!!! they're the best! "bee healthy" acctually i just went to the store this morning and bought some for breakfast because i was craving them! anyways thats beside the point haha! - this is a really great story! I love it!
~ you're a really good poet and story-teller - unless...this is true *WIDE EYED* although i doubt it hahahahahahahaha! LOVE U GRAMMA!
Stephani Lynn -
Thank you for your comment. This is the first story I've written so any feed back is greatly appreciated. I'm glad that you liked it and that it could make you laugh.
-
smelled the milk, “still good,”...okay that part made me crack up for awhile before I was even able to read the rest...just thought you ought to know that line was extremely funny.
This was great... I loved it esp. how it ended...thank you so much for entering and good luck!
cassie
may the force be with you!
1 - 9 of 9






