Seven Shot Symphony

One.1

I let the number roll over my mind, engulf my consciousness, whitewashing my thoughts with that simple, slender numeral. A solitary bead of sweat trickled down my arm, over my hand, and onto the frame of Two. That was its name. Technically, it was a gun. So they said. But it was more than that. It was a constant and steady companion, a trustworthy brother in the tightest of places and the hardest of circumstances. It held seven gleaming chances. Seven perfect opportunities. Cold steel and blood-stained wood. Workmanship and violent intent, all melted together into one solid and sturdy entity. I had named it 2

Two.3

They closed in around me: black fabric, molded resin composites, polymer and steel. Their faces were hidden behind mindless black lenses. They had done all they could to mask their humanity, to conceal it. No skin was bared, no voices heard. They communicated their malicious intents through hand signal and pre-formed understanding. They grasped weapons that had been churned from the hellish mouth of some infernal apparatus, devoid of life, devoid of all artistry, devoid of all but pure efficiency and pragmatism. They formed around me, triumvirate.4

Three.5

We stood there, in the falling rain, forming something of a square. They, with unleashed weapon and cold inhumanity. I, with holstered power and rain soaked skin. They faced me, lifeless as the machines they strove to replicate. I faced them, defiant as the shepherd boy before the Philistine. We quartet of rage and lifeless purpose.6

Four.7

A beat filled my ears, pulsing, throbbing. It ebbed and flowed, surged and fell, first in my chest, then my ears, then my whole body. It slammed twice.8

Five.9

The very tip of my finger caressed the backstrap, explored the checkering with the care of a lover and familiarity of a friend. I felt the moment rising, building in me, racing towards crescendo. My hand fell further still, found cold metal and comforting wood, found life and the power of death. They spoke out, voices alien and hard, commanding but devoid of the rage that might lend such orders strength. I felt Two as though it were part of me, felt its thoughts in my own head. And in that flashing, fleeting instant, I ceased to be what I was, and entered the space between where I would be.10

Six.11

Without ever devoting to it the consciousness that logic dictated it should take, Two cleared leather. Even as I moved left, it tracked right. Notch and blade eclipsed blackness. Powder burned, fire ignited, and polished death erupted outward. Three individual meteors slammed through plate and fabric, punched through space-age plastic and flesh, and found their mark. One fell. And with that cataclysmic concussion, time snapped its sluggish bonds and leapt forward with accumulated speed. My brain flinched as the world seemed to snap into mind-bending motion. Two, however, never faltered. It danced yet further right, and roared with lion’s might twice more. And the second fell, blood all but invisible on black fabric. 12

And then the hellish weapon of the third spoke its piece. It barked like a yappy dog, bucking upwards spastically as it slewed out a wave of iron. Lances of heat surrounded me. I tried to cower, tried to move, felt fear seize my legs, my mind, dragging me to a halt. And then, as if of its own accord, Two roared again. Never had a sound quite so loud tested me. My ears and mind screamed in pain as a shockwave compressed my chest and punched outwards. Twice it fired, in the space of less than a thought. It had its vengeance as copper and lead speared through the callous plastic and steel and found flesh.13

Seven.14

And silence Reigned.15

Author notes

(Contest I Want Your Gold!!!! by mackereth)


a few notes to those who might not get it: Two is a gun. something along the lines of a handmade 1911. think of something carefully crafted, rosewood scales, some nice engraving, but not too much. and it is named Two for a reason. the second horseman of the Apocalypse is its namesake. that horseman is War.

to clarify the overall scene, the narrator is one man with a holstered gun named Two. he is attacked, and attacks, three men in modern military gear, all black and sleek and plastic and such. ugly, lifeless weapons. the three enemies start to surround him, and he draws and shoots them.

i was going for a kind of old vs. new thing here. the 1911 was developed in, unsurprisingly, 1911. its in a leather holster (thus the term "clearing leather" means drawing a gun out of a leather holster), facing black, plasticky, mass produced monstrosities, like most modern military weapons. no artistry, just practicality.

the backstrap is the portion of the grip of a handgun that is pressed against the web between thumb and forefinger. on weapons designed for combat, this is often etched with crisscrossing lines called checkering, to enhance the griptitude (or whatever you want to call it).

Notch and blade eclipsing blackness: the sights on most handguns are made up of a notch in the back (think like a section of crenelation from a castle parapet)and a blade in the front. put the blade in the notch, put both over the target, and fire.

and that covers it for the notes. hope you enjoy!


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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • IceCrystal7
    October 17

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    This is a brilliant piece of writing! It was like watching one of those slow motion sorts of scenes in a movie, counting out by beats! I love how at the very end for number seven it was simply "And silence Reigned" Short sweet, to the point and an incredible ender to the piece! awesome job!


  • Valkyrie silver member
    October 12

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    Well done! It read like a slo-mo shootout scene from Firefly. The level of description, and the pacing, was intense, and I thoroughly enjoyed handing the rule of time over to you while I read this. It was smooth and action-packed at the same time.

    I especially liked the clever transition in the sentence where you name the gun Two and hop down a paragraph.

    Contrats on your trophies for this story.


  • The Golden Son
    October 10

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    Slo-mo sure can turn a quick little shootout into an really cool fight scene. It's confirmed, slo-mo is the solution to all lack of length... haha.


  • Ranooosha
    October 5
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    ranooosha the owner of the contest

    hi,
    great idea!!
    i never seen such a good idea like this!!
    you realy emppresed me!!
    all i can say is wow!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • KillerQueen
    September 11

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    WOW this is so intense!
    I love your writing style - it's nice, and it doesn't get boring at all!!! I would love to read more of your stuff. Please, keep writing. You have got a real talent - you're a fantastic writer!!! (:


  • twixzster
    September 11

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    Whoa my god. That was just abso-freaking-lutely fantastic. That write was on a whole different level, I mean it was just...don't have words to describe how good it was. I can't really say much more than whatever everyone else has commented. But it actually reminded me of the 'colt' from supernatural, too. And how you wrote about such a tiny space of time was perfect. Your knowledge of guns and such is really impressive too, by the way.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5.


  • EtherealButterfly
    September 10

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    oh. my. god.

    So I saw your story in the shameless box...clicked its link...read it...and was WOWED!!!!

    I was blown away by your choice of words and imagery.

    *dumbstruck* You are amazing.


  • Bells Kelly
    May 21

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    Excellent write Mac!

    i really felt part of the moment, discriptions blew my mind!
    Your brilliant (to put it simply)

    cheers
    Bec


  • Caradoc
    May 19

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    Great

    This is one very well written story. The action that takes place is in such a short span of time, but the attention to detail is amazing. You have a real talent here. I really enjoyed reading this.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.


  • onaya3
    May 16

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    Great play on contrasts...

    ...used in your imagery and descriptions to tickle the senses. I loved the lines, "Cold steel and blood-stained wood. Workmanship and violent intent, all melted together into one solid and sturdy entity. I had named it" I thought that this embodied the whole piece.

    Do you ever watch the TV series 'Supernatural'? Your descriptions reminded me of the 'colt' which was a gun used to kill demons, also an antique weapon from days of old

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


    • Ssmm silver member
      May 16
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      ironically, the 1911 design was originally patented and licensed to Samuel Colt, of firearm fame. and Two is a 1911.


  • CeliaBby
    April 11

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    I liked it a lot! Nice written. I liked that 1, 2, 3... Awesomest evur! Great job! Keep up your well discription!

    And I see no errors...>>


  • Fallen Star
    April 10
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    I LOVED this. This is truly fantastic, the flow is wonderful, your vocabulary impressive. The entire idea is very creative, I love how you focused on such minute details, and zoomed in on one part of the scene, really. The first paragraph was my favorite, the description of the gun as more than just a gun is very, very gorgeous.
    Keep it up!


  • sberendt gold member
    April 9

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    LOVED IT! The imagery was, like your piece about the warrior who defeated the horseman (the name of it eludes me), was exceptional and perfect.

    I haven't really read something written like this before, and I really did like it.

1 - 14 of 14