Waxy

Some facts about our character.1

Two months ago, her legs were broken.2

She has received no medical treatment.3

This is not accidental.4

*5

I woke from a tumult of looming dreams, and was surprised at my relative clear-headedness. Surprised, but not pleased: the pain in my legs burnt! and burnt!, a twisting worm! inside my body that scratched! and pecked! at my sanity. My first thought was to ask for more gum; but Lex had gone out. I didn’t know where.6

He’d left me on the bed, naked under the covers. I stretched my stiff arms, trying hard not to move my legs; but they twitched! and I winced. Threw the duvet off and propped myself up on my arms, crawling to the other end of the bed to the shelf set just below the ceiling – to save space, Lex and I slept on a top bunk bed, and used the space below for storage. I glanced at the clock: fifteen thirty. Fiddled with the buttons on the radio, setting it to a station that played a programme I liked in an hour or so. Then collapsed back onto the bed; waited with practised patience for my programme to start, and then – for half an hour – listened intently to it, the distraction creating something approximating peace. But I could feel, in my bladder, an urgent demand that I couldn’t ignore.7

Changed the station to mindless music, and listened as hard as I could. The pressure in my abdomen grew worse and worse. But it was so much work to stumble the few steps to the bathroom…8

Finally, I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I simply had to piss.9

Shuffled along the bed, keeping my legs nice and limp; the pain! was least intense like that. Came alongside the ladder leading downwards. Deep breath now, Lily. You can do this…10

Grasped the top of the ladder and closed my eyes. Quickly as possible I swung my legs! round and off the bed, so that I was dangling from the top of the ladder by my hands alone. I stayed there for a few seconds, panting and trying hard to focus on the music – on anything, anything but the pain. But my arms started to ache, and I knew I couldn’t hold on – knew that all I had to do was land and I’d be fine. Fine apart from the roaring! pain…11

My hands slipped off the ladder, and I fell the short distance to the laminate floor, landing! heavily on my legs, which crumpled! beneath me.12

I stayed on the floor for a few minutes, all thought obliterated! by the thudding! agony. Sobbed quietly to myself, wiping the tears onto my shoulder, and wondering when Lex would be back. If Lex were here, he would’ve carried me down and none of this would have happened…13

I needed to piss.14

Still crying a little, I pulled myself along the floor with my arms, letting my legs hang limp behind me, and into our tiny bathroom. Hauled myself up, pissed – oh blessed relief – and flushed. I’d given up on wiping; wiping meant hand-washing, and hand-washing meant standing, and that was nearly impossible. Fell! back onto the floor, contemplated returning to the bed.15

No.16

Lay there, listening as the music station played the same track at least three times, until Lex arrived.17

I was half-asleep with boredom by then, but woke when he arrived.18

“Lex…?” I called.19

“Lily, baby,” he answered, and swept through to scoop me up in his arms and kiss the top of my head; I’ve always been small, fragile, easy to handle. Even more so since my legs started burning and it was hard to get to the fridge. “Have you been here all day…?”20

“Most of,” I replied, snuggling into his chest. He was holding me by my torso, legs hanging free; barely hurt like this. “Lex, I need some gum, give me my gum…”21

“Of course,” he said, carrying me back to the main room and placing me gently on the bed. He strode out of my line of sight, and I heard the high-up cupboard in the bathroom click open. The muscles in my back unwound slightly. Soon enough, the pain would all go away…22

Lex came back with a wad of waxy green gum in his hand, which he placed in my eager mouth. I chewed happily, mashing it into a soupy plump. As the aniseed-taste slipped down my throat and into my stomach I smiled happily; soon enough it would be in my blood, and then everything would just drift away…I closed my eyes and waited for the sedative to take hold.23

I could hear Lex moving around our tiny apartment, just enough room for two paces up and two paces down. Without the space underneath the bunk bed, we wouldn’t even have the space for a fridge.24

“Lex?”25

“Lily?”26

“I haven’t been out of here for ages.”27

“I know, Lily. It’s because you’re ill.”28

“Oh…”29

I might have said more, but the gum was beginning to have an effect. My vision was becoming blurry, Lex’s voice seemed to be coming from far away; I felt very sleepy. But most importantly my leg didn’t hurt at all, not even when I twitched it…30

Lex’s face moved into my vision. He sat up above me, removing his jacket and shirt, kissing down my neck to my bare breast.31

I swam in and out of consciousness as he made love to me, hardly aware of what was going on; all I knew was that I was no longer in pain. That counted as pleasure now.32

After he fed me, cheap convenience foods, we couldn’t afford anything else, and held a glass of water so that I could drink. Then he had sex with me again, and slept on our bed, until I woke him asking for more gum; he gave me a bit extra so that I would sleep through the night.33

In the morning I woke, legs aching, needing to piss again. For a second fear thrilled through me; then I saw the gum lying beside the radio. In twenty minutes I would no longer have to feel…34

*35

There is a national manhunt being carried out on her behalf.