Adrien


Adrien was hungry. He sat in his dark cave wondering why everyone was so afraid of him. He had never harmed a human creature. He knew he wasn't exactly pleasant to look upon, but he tried to stay out of sight. He was waiting until it was completely dark. He had to feed, but he didn't want to scare anyone.1

Adrien couldn't understand why people considered him a monster. He fed on the same creatures they did. He hunted squirrels, rabbits, birds, deer and other small creatures. He knew the humans ate the same fare he did. He hated to have to spend most of his life hiding in his cave. He had gone hunting one evening before dark and was feeding on a small animal in the park when two humans came walking down the trail. He tried to hide, but it was too late.2

The couple had run off screaming and before he had finished feeding, a mob had come looking for him with sticks and stones and boom sticks. He had to fly off, leaving his meal behind. He hated to spend all his time in the dark cave, but now, he had started carrying his meals back with him to eat in peace. He had been so upset that he didn't hunt again for two days. Tonight, he must eat. 3

The sun was gone and the moon was rising higher in the sky. Adrian crawled out of his cave and flew to the nearest stream for a drink. In the moonlight, he could barely make out his image in the water. He was a beautiful shade of green, with long ears, three inch claws and and long spiked tail. His wings were beautiful. How could people look upon him and call him hideous. The pale skinned people, with no color, except in the cloth they insisted in wearing, with two skinny legs, and two skinny arms, no claws, no fangs and no tails were hideous to him, but he didn't hate them or decide they did not deserve to live. He could have killed them all if he wanted to, but he felt sorrow for them. They had no wings and were earthbound. 4

He had sat, hidden in the top of a tall tree and watched their feeble attempts to hunt. They had no weapons of their own and had to use some kind of boom stick to drop their prey, then they were not able to eat it. They had to use artificial claws made of steel to remove the animals skin...and they cut out and disposed of the best parts. It probably didn't even have any blood left by the time they got around to eating it. He was trying to understand them, but it was all so strange to him.5

Once, Adrien's kind had been plentiful in the land. Now, he usually had to fly for days to find another. He was feeling so lonely in his cave, that he was ready to go looking for a female of his species. He knew they needed to mate to keep their kind alive. They were slowly disappearing from the land. Tonight he would feed, then he would fly until he found a kindred soul and not feel like such an outsider in his own land.6

Adrien picked up a small deer and flew back to his cave. He was hungry and he wasted nothing, not even skin, teeth and bones. It sickened him how wasteful humans were of their precious resources. They sometimes killed prey and just left it lay to spoil. It brought tears to his eyes when he saw such senseless slaughter. He had even witnessed them killing their own kind, but it was never for food, so what was the reason for it?7

Adrien finished his meal, went to the stream to drink, and took off flying North. He would have to fly by night and find a hiding place during the day, not to be seen. He was flying over a meadow at the edge of a deep forest when he spotted a female human running and making a horrible noise. It hurt his ears. He looked down and saw she was being hunted by a large, brown furry creature. Adrien could see that this creature was well armed with long teeth and claws as long as his, and that the female was unarmed.8

Without even thinking of what he was doing, he swooped down and snatched the human just as the large bear caught up with her, and roared his anger at Adrien's interference.9

'Now I have her,' he thought, 'what do I do with her?' He flew to the nearest large tree and landed near the top. The human was asleep. Why would she fall asleep at a time like this? He wondered. He thought she would be scared. Adrien just couldn't figure out humans. He had to decide what to do with her. He couldn't leave her for the furry creature, couldn't leave her asleep at the top of the tree and couldn't risk being seen delivering her anywhere. Why hadn't he just stayed out of it. He tried to awaken the human, but she didn't wake up. He didn't want to sit in the tree and hold her all night, he needed to find a cave. He picked the human up in his clawed hands and flew off, looking for a place to spend the night. 10

Adrien spotted a small cave and landed in front of it. He crawled inside, dug himself a soft bed in the soil, and snuggled in for the night. He pulled the woman under his wing to keep her warm and dry. He had just gotten to sleep and was dreaming of a beautiful young female with a lovely long tail and huge eyes, when he awakened to the awfullest screaming he had ever experienced. He had forgotten the human was even there.11

“So, you're finally awake,” observed Adrien. 12

The human continued to scream. 13

“Please, you're hurting my ears,” insisted Adrien.14

The human started to quiet down. She looked up at the large, green, winged creature.15

“You can talk?” she whispered.16

“Of course,” he roared. “Why would you ask that?”17

“Where are we?” she asked.18

“We're in a cave, of course.”19

“But why?” she asked.20

“Where else was I supposed to be with a human. I couldn't leave you in the top of the tree. You might have fallen out.”21

“But why was I in a tree?” she asked, somewhat confused.22

“Because I didn't think you wanted to be dinner for that bear,” of course. 23

Now she was thoroughly confused. “What bear?” she demanded.24

“The one I took you away from, of course, now will you please shut up and let me get some sleep!”25

“Then, you're not going to eat me?” she asked.26

“No. now be quiet.”27

Adrien was soon snoring loudly again, and Carly, feeling somewhat safer, snuggled under the warm wing and went to sleep.28

When the sun came crawling in the front of the cave, Adrien stood and stretched his wings. “Wake up human,” he roared.29

Carly sat up, rubbing her eyes. “I need to go home.” she said.30

“You're free to go,” Adrien told her. “I need to finish my journey.”31

Carly looked out the door of the cave. “But where are we? I don't know how to get home from here."32

“Stupid, helpless human,” Adrien growled. “What do you want me to do?”33

She turned and faced him and put her hands on her hips. “I want you to take me home,” she insisted.34

“And why should I do that?” Adrien huffed.35

“Because you brought me here.”36

“If I hadn't have, the bear would have eaten you.”37

“If I walk out of this cave in the middle of the mountains, a bear will eat me. You have to take me home.”38

“If I try to take you home, your people will use their boom sticks against me, and I'm trying to take a trip.”39

“But you can't just leave me here.”40

“Of course, I can. I am not responsible for you.”41

“I said you are,” Carly yelled stomping her foot. “Take me home.”42

Adrien looked at the little human creature like she was nuts. He took one three inch claw and placed it on her nose. “Do you think I am afraid of a bug like you? If you irritate me anymore, I might just squash you like one.”43

“I've got to answer the call of nature, and I don't think you want to be around,” said Adrien, walking out of the cave.44

“Don't leave me here,” she screamed.45

Adrien flew off grumbling. “Why did I bring her here?”46

Carly walked out of the cave and looked around. She was on the side of a mountain and surrounded by deep forest. Just a few yards from the cave was a very steep drop, There was no way she could get out of here on her own.47

Carly sat down with her chin on her knees and waited for the strange creature to reappear. She was sure, that since he had saved her once, he wouldn't just leave her here to die.48

Thirty minutes later, Adrien returned and landed with three rabbits, and handed one to her. 49

“What am I supposed to do with this?” she questioned.50

“Aren't you hungry?” he asked.51

“Of course, I'm hungry, but I don't have anyway to clean this or a fire to cook it.”52

Adrien looked at her aghast, “You want to set good meat on fire?”53

“No, I want to clean and cook it.”54

“Humans are really crazy,” he said as he proceeded to eat his two rabbits, then turned to her, “Are you going to eat that?”55

“No,” she said, handing him the other rabbit. 56

“When you finish, will you at least drop me closer to the city?”57

“I can't be seen with you in the daylight. The humans will kill me. And I do not intend to wait another whole day to continue my trip. Carly sat there and started crying.58

Now Adrien was really upset. “What was this horrible noise she was making now? He couldn't stand much of that. “Okay,” he said. “Let's go. I'll get you as close as I can without being seen.”59

He picked her up in one huge hand, set her on his back and warned her to hold on tight. Then he flew back the way he had come. It was still early morning and there were few humans out. He flew within a half mile of the city, and sat her down on a small road.60

“You should be able to make it the rest of the way by yourself. I'm off to look for a good looking female with a nice tail... no offense,” and he took off.61

Carly walked slowly down the road, wondering, Did I really see what I thought I saw?62

Am I dreaming? Am I nuts? No one will believe me if I tell them, but I know it's for real. He looked like a small dragon, but how could they be here and never be seen? She worried the rest of the way back to the city, and by the time she got there, she knew she would never mention what had happened to anyone, if, indeed, it did happen at all.63

Adrien continued his journey North searching for the girl of his dreams. He was finally ready to settle down and start a family. After all, he was three-hundred and twenty-five years old, and wasn't getting any younger. He was so thankful he had been born into a civilized society, and not a member of the backward human race. He shook his head, remembering how worthless the ugly little human had been. She wasn't even capable of feeding herself, when he did the hunting for her.64

Suddenly he saw a long green tail disappearing between two trees, and thought, yeah, that's what I'm talking about, as he followed the tail deep into forest, forgetting all about the human female.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • DarkOneShadow
    October 18

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    How intriguing

    I have to say that while this was a very simple tale, it did hold a lot of validity. The only thing that I have against this was the dialogue.

    Since there really wasn't a description of what era it was placed in, the dialogue could have been more formal. A bit more description into their dress and mannerisms would have brought this more to life.

    Other than that, this was an enjoyable story.

    DarkOneShadow


  • Shadow dragon
    August 18
    Edit | Reply
    I think i am going to like Adrian, are you gonna do more stories with him in.


    • Tricia3 gold member
      August 18
      Edit | Reply

      I never know

      Maybe one of these days. I just have too many things going right now.


  • Violette silver member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    Needs a little tweaking but the story has promise. I would indeed like to see more of Adrian he is a strong, realistic character, despite what he is. You handled his thoughts very well.

  • Marta gold member
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    I like Adrien. Good story. It needs work but,I would like to see more of him. I like your humor. remember,I don't edit other people's work and would not presume to tell you how to write.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Myryca
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    I quite like Adrien's perspective on humans. I thought that was well done.

    Something I noticed: you say at the start "He knew he wasn't exactly pleasant to look upon" but then later you basically describe him as being beautiful. That's a bit inconsistent.

    However, to me this story was a bit random. I didn't feel there was much of a plot. Rather, I felt like things were just happening, that they didn't have any real purpose or that they didn't really further benefit/develop the story. If you don't mind me saying, the style sort of put me in mind of a children's story but from the content I can tell that's not what it's supposed to be. Just my personal opinion though.

    Thanks for entering!


  • Morning Trish, you have a comical adult fantasy in the making .

    Don't stop now. The humor is rich and a bit off color; you had be giggling .

    I certainly would like to see you develop this tale. The plot is good, the character of the dinosaur is well drawn. And I would love to meet his girlfriend 'to be' that should be some encounter .

    A few things to look at:

    The couple had run off screaming and before he had finished feeding, a mob had come looking for him with sticks and stones and weapons. (the sticks and stones are weapons so you need to designate what other weapons—sticks and stones and manmade weapons or very sharp weapons)

    You switched time sequences. (He had gone hunting one evening before dark and was feeding on a small animal in the park when two humans came walking down the trail. He to hide, but it was too late.) this happened in the past.

    This is now. (He hated to spend all his time in the dark cave, but now, he had started carrying his meals back with him to eat in peace. He had been so upset that he didn't hunt again for two days. Tonight, he must eat. 4)

    (He had been so upset that he didn't hunt again for two days.) Belongs with the idea in paragraph 3)
    He was a beautiful shade of green, with long ears, three inch claws and and (doubled word) long spiked tail.

    (His wings were beautiful.) ? sounds a bit pompous doesn’t he tongue )

    He could have killed them all if he wanted to, but he felt sorrow (sorry) for them.

    They had to use artificial claws made of steel to remove the animals (‘s) skin...

    He was feeling so lonely in his cave, that he was ready to go looking for a female of his species. (remove comma)

    Without even thinking of what he was doing, he swooped down and snatched the human just as the large bear caught up with her, and he (remove he)roared his anger at Adrien's interference.10

    He didn't want to sit in the tree and hold her all night, ( he needed to find a cave.

    “So, you're finally awake.(,)” observed Adrien. 13


    “Because I didn't think you wanted to be dinner for that bear,” (remove quotation marks) of course. (“24

    “No. (N)now be quiet.”28

    . “Wake up human.(,)” he roared.30

    “I need to go home.(,)” she said.31

    Just a few yards from the cave was a very steep drop,(.) There was no way she could get out of here on her own.48

    Adrien looked at her aghast,(.) “You want to set good meat on fire?”54

    Now Adrien was really upset. “( remove) What was this horrible noise she was making now? He couldn't stand much of that.

    Geri

    • Tricia3 gold member
      April 21
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Geri

      I'm glad you enjoyed my little tale and thanks for pointing out the errors. I didn't proofread too well, did I?
      I'll get them changed.


  • Oddems.
    April 18

    Edit | Reply
    I do like Adrien, he has the perfect attitude, I think, of humans - what feeble creatures we are! I would, he's a great character. The story was well written and I loved the last paragraph. The only thing I noticed was that you switched the human girl's name between Carly and Carla. Great story!

    LL

    • Tricia3 gold member
      April 18
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks for the comment

      I'm glad you like Adrien. I may write more about him later.
      I changed that Carla, Carly thing once. I must have missed one. I think I have it now.
      Thanks
      Trish

  • Kismet Krazy silver member
    April 7
    Edit | Reply
    haha I like how that ended. And i do really like Adrien. He seems like a nice dragon that just wants to understand and just wants to be loved. This story was very well written. It would be nice to read how it ends, hopefully with him and lovely dragon lady. Great Job and keep it up!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


    • Tricia3 gold member
      April 7
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      I'm glad you liked it and I may write more about Adrien.

  • graybeard
    April 6

    Edit | Reply

    Pretty good

    Only saw one small boo boo. You first introduced the girl as Carla and then changed to Carly. No biggie, but messes with the continuity of the story. Good write though.

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