People have told me they loved me, some of them just said it to make me do stuff for them or tell me things I didn't want to tell them, other ones I know meant it, but only a few, but just as friends, but when you say it seems so, I don’t know, just amazing, but foreign like I’ve never heard it before. I know you don’t think that you are worth getting hit over, but you said you didn’t like that I slept with him, so I wont, its not like I wanted to in the first place, and yeah I do kind of have feelings for him, but there small, ones that have built up through years of lusting after what I knew was out of range. It’s weird how I can want something and not have it, but be able to get something better, someone better, someone like you. You said that I had it backwards that you weren’t good enough for me, but as I thought about it I came to the conclusion that if I said the opposite in here we would be going around in circles forever…but just for good measure, I still think you’re the better of us two. I try not to get angry but its hard when I can’t be with you. I’ve had people tell me that I would be a no one forever, and this whole time I thought it was true, but its hard to think I am when I’m talking to you, because you make me feel like a actual person again and not just someone people mess with when their bored, angry or sad, but unlike all those people, when your angry you don’t yell at me or threaten to hurt me. I love you, even if at times you don’t think I do, I always will, even if you walk away, or make me, though I hope you don’t, cause even though for a long time my world was shattered, you helped me fix it and through the work I built it around you and now you are my world. I don’t think there has been a day that thinking about you hasn’t occupied every second of every minute. I’m not good with words, but I’m trying my hardest because I want you to know that if you died I can’t say I would do any different, even with all my friends around, your all that matters, and though I love them, I wouldn’t be able to live with out you. In all of this, I’m still sorry for what I did and how I made you feel. I hate that it was what I did that made you come that close to death. I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive myself for making you hurt, so all in all, I’m sorry and I swear that I would rather get hit then ever hurt you again. I don’t know really how to express my feelings for you, it’s hard, I don’t really talk about this a lot, and I know you’ve noticed because you spend half your time trying to get me to tell you what’s wrong, though the truth is I wanna tell you more then anything but I cant cause I feel stupid for not being able to just take what they give me. I know this write doesn’t help much, but I tried, I just wanted you to know that you mean everything to me. Before, I hated every day I was alive and regretting not killing myself when I had the chance but now I know that even if I did have a kind of sucky day that when I sneak on the computer there’s almost always a message from you, which makes me smile cause I love talking to you and listening to what you do and laughing at how hyper you are after like 20 Mt. Dews. I’m sorry I hurt you, I really am and I hate myself for doing it, but I swear, I’ll never do it again as long as I live.1
For the record, if you tell me to walk away I will, so please don’t.2
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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hey shawny! This was gooooooood bro
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Good
I think that this is a good piece and I think you could improve it by spacing out the whole text by adding paragraphs to make it easier to read.
And you said you were not a good writer, this piece is good
And I hope my comments help
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This was a very emotional write, and you said you where bad at writing?...
One little thing though, you need to space it out more. The wall of text scares me....
Im sorry it didn't work out
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very good and well I hope that everything works out exactly as you would like it to.
Well your feelings really came out in this and always look up and realize that these things happen to all of us and we are all here for that reason, support for we all have some words of advice. This came out very well cause you had something to say and you did. We write better when were angry, sad, happy, thinking, and last but not least in love. Each emotion give us a reason to write the feelings we are going through at the time Many will read cause they either just went through it or they are going through that certain emotion. Very good read and sorry hope all works out for you.
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er i dont think they came out good enough cause he dont want me anymore. Tho i guess its good if this helps other people, so thats good about it!
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Tis great mate I hope this means things are better for you in your life these days. Love makes things so much better.
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erm i thought things were looking up but then he dumped me and now i feel shittier then I did before :/
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I loves you Shawn, even if you are a LDD, maybe its your age 65 million is a biggggg number! JK
Loves!
Christa Mae
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Aww this was very sweet!
Shaant is very-very lucky! Agreed.
I love you but in a friend way, hehe. xD
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err he wanst very lucky in the first place with me:/ he dumped me like... a month after ai wrote this.
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Oh, I'm really sorry, I feel bad now.
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its ok lol
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Aww Shawnie. Shaant ish VERY lucky.
This was great hun.
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oh haha thanks.
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awww. Shaant is lucky and you are lucky and even tho i really don't believe in luck, it's all good. u guys are ahhhmazin for each other.
kAsSiE
love you bro!
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aw even a rainbow!?!?!!? I luv u!!! thanks
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hehe!
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Shawn, this is beautiful.
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thanks :]
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...wow....i really dont know what to say here...but in the good kinda way adn not the depression filled way. You are the SINGLE most amazing person i've ever been with and tho u dont seem to think so this helped a lot. I love you shawn and have a dying lust to be with you. and no i won't walk away, i never would/could. Even if i coulf im here to stay. Thanks a million.
Love you 4ever,
Shaant -
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your welcome babe, I love you too
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Aww.
I'm sorry about all the shit, Shawnsy,
but I'm glad you found someone. <3
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so am I
Thanks.
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