Unusually warm. That is what one would think on a day such as this. The seventh day in December, and it was sixty-seven degrees in Holly, Michigan. The town that always sleeps. Nothing much happened around here, and nobody knew it better than Trevor McGinnis. Most people knew Trevor as "that musician guy" who brings in average sized crowds and sells his music to average people like himself. The only thing that wasn't average was the club in which he performed in, which was abnormally small. Trevor hated people thinking of him as average. He thought he was above average, unique, special, and cursed. Trevor felt as if he were cursed to forever live in a one-bedroom apartment. Cursed to forever work in a fast food restaurant, just to put all of his money toward bills. Cursed to forever perform his perfection in the same, dumpy club week after week. He knew he was meant to go somewhere in life, but of course it wasn't his fault he wasn't there yet. Trevor blamed each and every person that didn't care about him or helping him make some money with his music. That included everyone he knew, and everyone he didn't know. The only one free of blame was himself. How could it be his fault? He was the musical genius, he was the one who someday would become a legend. Trevor was above average. But, regretfully for him, he was also above family, morals, and anyone who has ever called him a friend.2
Walking home on an unusually warm day in December, clutching his guitar to his side, Trevor couldn't help to question mother nature. Why finally make a warm day and have it rain, he thought. What a cruel joke. Trevor knew he was just angry because he had to walk in the rain, but if his job would pay him more, he could afford a car. That just made him more angry. It was his job's fault he had to walk in the rain. Finally he made it to his door. Gritting his teeth, he unlocked and walked through the door. Trevor glanced at the answering machine on the little table by the door. Zero messages, zero surprise. He set down and opened his guitar case. Though Trevor just finished a performance, he had the compulsion to play a song, one song specifically. "The Rain", not one of Trevor's favorites, but he wanted to hear it again. Trevor strummed the first chord and began to sing the lyrics that he, for some unknown reason, desperately needed to hear.3
4
5
Not knowing how to feel6
Lost yet gaining7
My mind is set, yet I forget8
Just how to turn this over9
10
Now it's raining, pouring down before me11
Everything glistening12
It seems to me, what has to be13
In my mind, just let it be14
15
I used to laugh when it rained16
But no more will it be17
Walking alone, push away18
It's raining again19
It's raining again20
21
Now it's raining, pouring down before me22
Everything glistening23
It seems to me, what has to be24
In my mind, just let it be25
26
Thinking how can this be27
It's always cold, yet it's changed28
It becomes a sign, changing the black hole29
Changing inside me if I let it go30
Feel it start to rain again31
32
33
During the middle of the last chorus, Trevor dropped his guitar and stared at his own words in disbelief. Questions raced through his head. Why does this keep happening? Why is every time becoming more specific? Why did I chose these words specifically when I first wrote this song? Trevor grabbed his telephone and dialed the number he has dialed so many times before. The person on the other end answered after the third ring with a simple "Hello?"34
"Hello? Sammy? Is that you?"35
A sigh followed by a short pause signified acknowledgment on the other end. "Yeah Trevor, it's me, what do you want?"36
"The song, my song "The Rain", it's happened again." Trevor was shaking slightly.37
"C'mon Trevor, not this again."38
"Seriously Sammy, it's more specific this time. C'mon, please hear me out. You're a christian, aren't you supposed to help others if you can?"39
"Alright, alright, I'll hear you out. But sometimes I think you're taking advantage of my faith. That's not cool Trevor, we've been friends since 5th grade, and I don't want to end our friendship, but you have to shape up. You've changed a lot since you've been out on your own. Speaking of which, you really should return your mother's calls. I still talk to her when she needs to, and you're breaking her heart by ignoring her. You didn't even tell her happy birthday, it was two days ago."40
Trevor rolled his eyes. "I know Sammy. You're my only friend, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd stay out of my family business. No offense."41
"None taken, but Trevor, c'mon. She's you're mom."42
"Alright, if I promise to call her tonight will you please hear me out on this?"43
"Yeah, I'll hear you out."44
Trevor quickly read the words to Sammy with a slightly quivering voice. Afterwards, Trevor told Sammy what was on his mind. "Sammy, all of this stuff happened today, almost every line. I can't even remember why I wrote this in the first place. I don't know what my inspiration was. I just, I just picked up a pen and wrote it."45
"As with all of your songs"46
"Yes"47
There was a pause. Sammy was obviously thinking of what was presented to him and how impossible it was. Trevor could hear Sammy take a deep breath and let it out. "Well Trevor, you do use a lot of metaphors that can be taken many different ways, as I've told you before. I really think you're just reading to much into this, you're seeing what you want to see and you're style of writing makes it very easy to do that. I'm sure if I tried I could look at your song and find a way for it to be about my day. It's all in you're head."48
"You always say that. These songs are getting more specific. I walked home in the rain, alone as always. 'Walking alone again, push away, it's raining again.'"49
"What about the 'push away' part, what does that mean?"50
"Sammy, I don't know. I don't know what any of this means. I'm very confused right now."51
"Well Trevor, I think subconsciously you're using these lines to prove something that you yourself aren't aware of yet. Something I've told you many times before. You push people away from you. I'm the only one that has stuck by you, though you push me away as well."52
"How do I push you away? You don't know what you're talking about."53
"You never answer my calls and you only call me when you have a problem. And Trevor, don't forget. I'm a child psychologist, and right now you're acting like a child because you're not listening to me. I do know what I'm talking about. I'm sure if you really examine you're song, you'll find more evidence of what I'm saying. You want to change, you just have to accept it."54
It was evident Trevor was growing angry. Taking harder and deeper breaths, Trevor quickly ended the conversation. "Sammy, I'm not a child and I don't appreciate you calling me that. And I don't buy into your little theory of me wanting to change. I don't need to change, I live for myself. If somebody doesn't like it, then too bad. I believe something bigger is happening here. I can feel there's something more to this. I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow or something, and yes, I'll call my mom tonight and wish her a happy birthday." Before Sammy had a chance to reply, Trevor hung up the phone. Trevor knew he wouldn't call his mom, and he knew he wasn't going to call Sammy the next day. Trevor also knew he didn't care.55
56
57
* * *58
59
60
Deep dark eyes. Long, shimmering black hair. Six feet, two inch build. Perfectly squared shoulders and jaw. This was what Trevor McGinnis saw every morning while getting ready for a new day. Trevor loved to look at himself in the mirror. It wasn't self indulgence, it was merely admiring beauty. He couldn't help the way he was made.61
Trevor had the day off from work. Entering the living room, he admired the small plaque on the slightly faded wall. It was only the size of a half sheet of notebook paper, but it was one of his most prized possession. Besides, of course, the framed poem that the plaque was acknowledging. "Lost in Wishful Thinking", Trevor's favorite creation. It started out as only a poem. After two and a half years, Trevor wrote music for it. The trouble was finding a chord progression to fit with the word arrangement. 62
Suddenly, Trevor's mind went dark. Everything seemed to go dark, though nothing changed at all. He felt dizzy, as if an extremely silent explosion hit him full force. He gained composure, then read the lines over again. Something was here, in the lines. There was a message he never saw before, and only stole a glimpse of it now. What was it? Trevor had it for a second, but then it was gone. He only felt extreme fear and another emotion he couldn't explain. He read the lines again, hoping to retrieve what was now lost. Line through line, verse through verse. After the third time reading it through, Trevor thought he may have figured it out. The chance of him being right sent shivers through his body and turned his blood to ice. Once more, just to be sure, Trevor read the poem.63
64
65
Lost in Wishful Thinking66
67
These are the sounds that drown my heart68
My only solace is in these sounds69
This noise you hear from yesteryear70
The notes you played for me by ear71
Now no one sings but me72
73
Remembrance welcomes in my pain74
Holding you close forces me in further75
These words you hear from yesteryear76
All I know I've learned by ear77
And held on through a tragic ending78
79
Come in and see this place80
I'm so glad you're back again81
Can't help but to feel replaced82
I just can't seem to comprehend83
84
Where do we go from here85
Knowing what we know86
With these desolate apparitions87
Knowing what we know88
And holding on through a tragic ending89
90
91
92
93
Trevor felt the pit of his stomach drop, he knew exactly what the poem meant. Whoever, or whatever used him to send this message made it very clear. Trevor was going to die. This thing, be it a spirit, demon, angel, or something else was telling Trevor something. Trevor McGinnis would soon be no more, and the thing knew it for a long time now. Trevor didn't know why the thing chose this time, but this solitary poem told more about his death and the hereafter than he cared to know. Trevor knew his music somehow attracted this being, but since Trevor's death would end the sounds that gives this thing solace and comfort, the entity was trying to warn him. Trevor held on to the chance that he might be able to prevent this, but he didn't know for sure. He knew that the thing didn't want the music to end. But the entity also wanted Trevor's death to happen, to meet Trevor and show him a new place. Possibly a place he knew before his birth, or in his dreams. "I'm so glad you're back again". The being was confused by what it wanted. Music or death, that's where it came down to. But what would be the lesser of two evils? Trevor had to side with music. Of course he didn't want to die, but he knew if he did he would be well taken care of. Though the facts after his possible death were evident, Trevor knew he would rather live and spread his music. But was it even up to him? He knew this being could not prevent or cause Trevor's death. Trevor had to do that by himself. But there was one line in the poem he didn't understand. "With these desolate apparitions". But it was only one line, Trevor figured. Maybe it's only a fluke, a mistake. If people could make mistakes, could beings on the other side make them as well? 94
The darkness in Trevor's mind faded as his perception slowly went back to normal. He had so many questions, but no one to ask. Trevor sat down on his couch and stared at the poem. Trevor couldn't understand what had happened to him. How did this information flood through his mind the way it did? Why did it feel so right, this information? Even if Trevor couldn't understand it, he knew it had to be true. He wanted to live, he just couldn't figure out how to prevent his death. He didn't know how he was supposed to die. Trevor suddenly felt a slight ripple of anger course through his body. The ripple turned to a tidal wave and Trevor let it out. "How can I prevent it if I don't know!" Suddenly the phone rang. Trevor jumped and quickly answered the phone. His heart was nearly beating out of his chest, but he was able to muster out the simple "Hello?" he's heard from Sammy so many times. 95
"Hey Trevor, it's Rick, you want a gig tonight?"96
Trevor paused for a second. He couldn't believe he thought his question would be answered with a phone call. Or, he thought, maybe it was. "Definitely". Trevor replied to the elderly club owner. "What time?"97
"As soon as you can get here, the band that was supposed to play the two-thirty set never showed up. We're in intermission now, but the crowd's starting to thin out. When can you get here?"98
"Give me ten minutes, Rick. I'll be there, you have my word."99
"You're the man Trevor, you really saved me."100
"No problem, I'll see you in a few." Trevor put his guitar in it's case and headed out the door. He figured he might find some answers if he performed the song that created the questions in the first place. As he left, he made sure to watch every step very carefully. He knew he had a chance, as long as he remembered to be as careful as possible with everything he did. 101
102
103
* * * 104
105
106
107
Entering the club, Trevor made his way backstage. There he met with Rick, pupils dilated from whatever drugs he was taking at the time. Rick, at fifty-two years of age, was by far the oldest druggie Trevor knew. "Thanks again Trevor, I owe you big. I only need a ten to fifteen minute set covered. I figure two songs should cover it."108
"Sounds good Rick, I'm gonna open with 'Lost in Wishful Thinking'. Then I'll probably just let the crowd decide the second song. That is if anyone knows my songs enough to request one."109
"'Lost in Wishful Thinking', it's beautiful song Trevor, a great opener." Rick walked off to talk to the guy operating the curtain. "Whenever you're ready Trevor, it's all you."110
"Thanks Rick." Trevor quickly warmed up by running through a few vocal scales and making sure his guitar was in tune. "Alright, you can open the curtain now."111
"Okay." The stagehand quickly opened the curtain and Trevor walked onto the stage. He sat on the stool in the middle of the stage and adjusted the guitar and vocal microphones. "How are you folks doing tonight?" Trevor gazed at the crowd of about thirty as a few people murmured things he couldn't here. "Okay, I'm going to open with a song I call 'Lost in Wishful Thinking.'" A few people clapped as he began to play. Trevor put more feeling into the song than he ever had before. He could see the amazement on a few of the faces in the crowd. As Trevor sang the line "With these desolate apparitions", he noticed something strange. In the middle of the crowd he saw a gray mass start to form. It became more solid, like a three dimensional shadow. The shadow had no real form, it moved in and out of itself. This thing Trevor was seeing was impossible to explain. He began to feel dizzy and his mind became dark again, but he played on. Trevor could feel the excitement stirring in the shadow, like a million rays of energy penetrating his every pore. Unexplainable. Beautiful. Frightening. Curious. Peaceful. Trevor felt every emotion in one great burst of energy. He was almost in tears, but still he played on. No one in the crowd saw the shadow, it was meant only for Trevor. When the song was over Trevor had tears streaming down his face. He noticed the shadow was fading so he quickly composed himself and looked through the crowd. "Well, I don't know how many of you know me or my songs, but if anyone has any requests, speak up now." Someone in the crowd shouted "Locked Away!" Then someone else followed suit, followed by a small crowd in the left side of the crowd. Before he knew it, everyone was chanting. "Locked Away! Locked Away! Locked Away!" Trevor was amazed. He knew for a fact that there was no way all of these people knew that song. It was only performed it once, and that was over a year ago. "Well, I don't understand it, but I'll run with it. 'Locked Away' it is." Everyone cheered. Still in total amazement, Trevor backed away from the microphone a little bit and situated himself. He then motioned for the crowd to quiet down, and he began the chord progression that opened the song. Trevor noticed the shadow was becoming more solid and vibrant. It seemed to get stronger through the song, so he began to sing. 112
113
114
Forced to make a choice, life or death115
Everyone thinks that they're the best116
Meet once more with the shadow man117
There's room for growth, reach for his hand118
119
You know you're wrong but try to do right120
You look around, no end in sight121
Trying to run but can't get far122
You come to terms with what you are123
124
125
126
Trevor had to stop. His voice gave out and his fingers fumbled down the strings. Trevor understood. He had to become a better person. He had to make better life choices. Trevor finally knew. He had to come to terms with the kind of person he was and change his actions. He didn't know exactly how, but he knew the choices he was making now would ultimately lead to his death. Trevor looked up to the shadow. The shadow slowly faded, then completely disappeared. Trevor couldn't contain himself, he burst into tears, right there on stage with everyone watching. He slowly stood up and made his way backstage. The crowd began to shout obscenities at him as he left, so he turned around and slowly raised his middle finger for everyone to see. That's when the throwing of cans, food, and other various things began. Trevor ran backstage and told the stagehand to shut the curtain. He then sat on the ground, hugging his guitar and sobbing uncontrollably. He felt a hand on his shoulder. Trevor looked up to see Rick standing there. "What happened out there man, are you alright?" Trevor didn't know what to say, so he stood up, put his guitar in it's case, and made his way to the side exit. "I was only trying to help man, there's no need to be like that. I don't want you playing here anymore if you're gonna be like that." Trevor sighed and shut the door behind him as he started on his way home. 127
About halfway to his apartment complex, Trevor was stopped by two rough looking men. "What do you want guys, I've had a very long day and I just want to go to sleep."128
"Hey music man, or should I say cryin' man. What was that all about? Your show was terrible." The shorter man on the left gave Trevor the most evil scowl he'd ever seen as he spoke. "I said you're show was terrible, what are you gonna do about it?"129
"Look guys, I'm not looking for trouble. I don't know what happened, I just broke down. Just let me be on my way." Trevor took a couple steps toward the men to leave. Trevor was then shoved onto the ground by the man standing to the right. His orange hat nearly fell off as he lost his balance from his own force. These two men were blatantly drunk.130
"Get up" The man on the left bent down a little to face Trevor. "Hit me."131
The darkness flowed through Trevor's mind again as he felt the familiar dizziness. "Forced to make a choice, life or death. Everyone thinks that they're the best." Trevor saw the shadow again, about ten feet behind the two men, hovering about five feet off the ground. Trevor felt as if the shadow was pleading with him to stay down and not to speak, but Trevor couldn't do that. He felt the anger boil inside his heart, his blood replaced with rage. Trevor was never one to back down from a fight. Meet once more with the shadow man. There's room for growth, reach for his hand. Trevor put his hands on the sides of his head and screamed. "Get out of my head! I can handle this! I'm a grown man!" Trevor removed his hands and stared menacingly at the man bent down in front of him. Trevor stood up slowly, and the man matched his movement. 132
"You want me to hit you? You sure about that?"133
"Oh I'm sure, take your best shot punk. I'm better than you, everyone is better than you."134
Trevor couldn't stand people who start fights for no reason. He felt it was time to teach these two a lesson. Trevor brought back his fist, and the shadow suddenly appeared in front of the man. "Get away from me!" Trevor yelled as he swung, punched right through the shadow, and shattered the man's nose. The shadow disappeared. Can't help but to feel replaced. I just can't seem to comprehend. The fear set into Trevor again. He overlooked those two lines before, he didn't know why. Probably because they didn't mean anything to him until this very moment. Trevor had replaced his one chance of life with his anger. The shadow was gone. It was confused, so it left. Trevor already knew what was coming next, so he ran. Trying to run but can't get far. You come to terms with what you are. The man standing next to the one kneeling down with a broken nose pulled something out of his coat. Trevor looked behind him as he ran, right before he heard the loud explosion. Pain. Blood. Regret. Trevor fell to the ground as the hole in his back began to bleed. He heard the two men becoming uneasy. "We gotta get out of here. Get up Gus! We gotta go before anyone sees us!" The man known as Gus stood up, and they both ran back toward the club. 135
Trevor could do nothing but lay there. His mind was becoming dark again, then the dizziness set in. So this is what it feels like to die, Trevor thought. The darkness in his mind spread to his eyes as everything became darker than normal. He could feel the darkness running down his body. Trevor thought about all that had happened. He could have prevented this, he was lucky enough to be given a warning, but he threw it away. Ridiculous. The shadow appeared right in front of Trevor's face. Holding on through a tragic ending. Trevor finally realized what kind of person he was. He was not a genius, he was not beautiful, he was not anything to be worshiped or adored. He was average. This was Trevor's last thought. He gazed at the shadow until everything went black. Trevor McGinnis died an average death that night. An average death, in an average town, filled with average people just like him.136
137
Adding your comment: