I Loved Him

I was ready. I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't know what I did wrong. Maybe I intimidated him. I don't know and I don't think I will ever know. I really did love him. I guess he didn't know that.1

I am a princess and my parents are the king and queen. I reached the age where I was supposed to be married. There had been this prince that I loved since I was little. I thought we just looked so perfect together. I told my parents this and they were happy I wanted to be with a prince and not some peasant.2

My parents sent out a search party. During this search, we found out that he died at the age of fifteen. I couldn't marry him. He was dead! My dreams were crushed. I had hoped that the whole husband search would be easier.3

I kind of stopped thinking of husbands after that had happened. I just focused on my schoolwork. My parents had hired a new tutor for me. His name was Lance. He was so awesome. I had never met such a patient and nice person before. Lance never got frustrated with me.4

I slowly fell in love with him. I always flirted with him. We laughed together. We ate together. We started to do everything together. I started feeling like he was the one for me. I really did.5

During one of our tutor sessions, something had happened. Everything had changed. It was for the better though. This is what happened.6

"Hello, Princess. How have you been?" Lance's voice was so beautiful. It caused a chill to run down my spine. "I actually am better now that you're here. I missed you." Lance suddenly had a serious face. He was thinking about something. After it looked like he made some kind of decision, he walked closer to me. My heart started beating faster and faster until he wrapped his hand around my waist.7

"I really like you," he said. "I can't resist this feeling I have for you. I don't care about this job anymore. I just care about you. You're all that matters." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He liked me as much as I liked him. I couldn't believe it. I was dying in his arms right there. All I could say was, "I like you, too." 8

I thought that was a lie. I LOVED him. Lance was the greatest thing that I had ever seen. There was nothing more perfect than him. As I thought this Lance pulled me closer to him. He looked me right in the eyes and we kissed. We kissed like we hadn't seen each other in years. It was like we had been married for years. It was just so meant to be it didn't feel like our first kiss.9

Ever since that tutor session, Lance and I had to keep our relationship a secret. If my parents found out I was seeing the tutor... I would be dead. We couldn't hold hands. We couldn't do anything that would lead to any suspicions. We pretended like we only had a professional relationship.10

We actually did a really good job. My parents never found out. They also never stopped looking for possible husbands for me. This created tension between Lance and I. I had to continually see other men. He was always becoming jealous.11

"Why can't you just tell your parents you don't want them to look for husbands for you! You don't have to mention us, but at least stop seeing these other men." I told Lance, "I can't. You know how that would make me look? I can't do that. I am supposed to have a husband and they want to choose him."12

This made Lance think. I could see it in his eyes. He then looked me in the eyes likes he looked at me the first time we kissed. "Then marry me. We could have a secret wedding. You have a dress and people who always do your hair. Just say you want to practice for when you find your husband. Then sneak away and marry me. We could then run away together and have kids without your parents there."13

This came as a shock to me. He had just proposed. I didn't know what to say. 14

"Yes! Of course. I mean I love you... so.... YES! I will marry you." Lance looked so happy. I was even happier. I was going to spend the rest of my life with the man of my dreams. My wedding day would be the best day of my life!15

We planned everything. There would be white roses and daisies everywhere. The cake would be small, but detailed. We had to go a little simple because the wedding was going to be tomorrow and we couldn't cause any suspicion.16

I got a priest to do the marriage and my hair was done and dress spotless. I was done slightly wavy with little white flowers in them. It was also partially on top of my head. A little clip holding it there. My dress was white and fluffy. It came down around my legs perfectly. Everything was perfect. Or so I thought.17

Lance was waiting in the hidden chapel of my castle. As I was on my way up the steps my parents found me. They had another possible husband for me. I really couldn't take it, but I had to. I didn't want to get my parents suspicious. My mother said, "Please, daughter, just give this one a chance. Kiss him. Just see if this is the one." 18

I was scared. I hesitated because I was about to get married and here I was being told to kiss another man. I finally kissed him and quickly stopped. I didn't want this man to get too attached. I said to my mother he wasn't the one and went on my way. I had no idea that Lance had come down the stairs to see where I was. He had seen the kiss.19

I got to the chapel and saw only the priest. "Where's my love? Lance! Lance! Where are you?" I began to cry. I had realized that he was gone forever. All because I was too ashamed to tell my parents of the love we had.20

I ran down the same stone steps I had come up to go to the chapel and no one was there. The hallways were empty. There was no sign of Lance. He was gone for good.21

I looked like a complete mess. My hair was messy. The little clip had come out. I had make-up smeared on my face from crying. The mascara I once had on made me look like a wretched beast because it covered the bottom of my eyes. My dress was all over the place from running. It was also ripped from going down the stone steps so fast. There was some make-up on it. One of my heelsI was sitting there alone on the steps, crying. Why would Lance come back anyway? I mean, I looked like a mess. I wouldn't even come back to someone who looked like this. I ruined everything.