The Accident part 2

Please note now that this part takes place during and before the first part. I know it sounds confusing now but you will see. Also, there is mild language but only one part.
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Aj's P.O.V2

I was messing with the radio and had taken my seatbelt off before then to reach Gavril’s cd case in the back seat. I was blinded by bright white high beams coming towards us. I heard Gavril slam on the breaks and screeching tires as we skidded sideways. He wasn’t fast enough; the other vehicle slammed into us, the cracking glass and crunching metal surrounded us seconds before I was thrown out the windshield. My entire body burned and stung like acid as I flew in mid air until I skidded across the highway. Darkness surrounded me, beckoning my call.3

Upon waking there were voices and machines all around. I opened my eyes to see a shadow that I assumed it was Alex sobbing behind the curtain to my right. “Alex,” I called out; sadly only to find out a tube blocked my voice. A doctor or a nurse appeared over by my side; couldn’t really tell at that point.4

“Relax, son we will take out the tube in a few,” they said in a calming voice, “ You were just in a bad accident your lucky to be alive, so don’t rush things.” Another person came up to me in a white lab coat.5

“I am going to take out the tub, you should be well enough to breathe on your own, and on the count of three I want you to cough, One….Two…Three.” I cough and the tube slides out of my mouth. “Do you know where you are?”6

“In a Hospital,” I answered.7

“Very good, are you in any pain?”8

“Not at this moment”9

“Good, during the accident you have broken your left wrist and cracked 3 of your ribs. Also, you had a shattered knee cap in your right leg.” I couldn’t even say anything to them.10

“How and where is Gavril?” I asked11

“He is stable for now; he’s in the next bed,” the doctor said before the nurse and him left.12

“Alex,” I called out. She peered around the curtain; you could tell she had been crying a lot, Her usually sea green eyes were slightly puffy and red. Although, I had no idea how long it had been since the accident; but I sure could guess looking at Alex.13

“Oh, Aj am glad your okay,” she said coming over and wrapping her arms around me. 14

“Everything will be fine; if its not you can beat me up,” I said with a smirk on my face.15

“You know I won’t be able to handle beating you up if he doesn’t come out of the coma.”16

“Sweetie, he will you know he’s a fighter just like you are.”17

“I know, it’s been three days since the accident and he’s already had three different surgeries, you had one since then.”18

“Damn that must have been one hell of an accident,” I said in somewhat joking way. Alex bursts into tears falling into my arms; “Shhh, sweetie you know that’s not what I meant.”19

“I know,” she said half sobbing. “Gavril’s left shoulder was broken because there was a metal pipe right by the guard rail that pierced him, he had surgery to help repair his 16 total broken bones in his feet and back surgery since a lower part of his back is broken,”20

“My god sweetie, that’s a lot to deal with I am guessing mom and dad aren’t back home from their trip yet.”21

“Nope, I can’t get a hold of them either,” Alex, said before bursting into tears again.22

“Sweetie, don’t cry everything will get better.”23

“I know, but it will never be the same if Gavril doesn’t make it.”24

“I know, now relax and be strong for Gavril’s sake,” I said right before a wave of pain surged through my body. Alex yelled for a nurse to come
quickly; I gripped the metal bar as the waves of pain continued. I felt a slight burning sensation between the pain, shortly after they seemed to dull down a bit. My body felt as if it had been at work after being up all nigth and working a long shift that day. Sheer exhaustion rushed through me as I felt my heart begin to race. I could hear alarms going off, Alex repeating over and over again for help as the nurses and doctors rushed over. I hear the abyss calling my name once again, I tried to fight it, but there is nothing I could do to stop it.25


Author notes

I know a lot of you wanted to read the second part so here it is finally. Let me know what you think and if I should make another part to it.

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Bethany
    April 7
    Edit | Reply
    I am confused about a few things, one, was this the same one that woke up in part 1, and 2, what are the relations between the charaters?
    At first I thought Alex was his girlfriend because he kept calling her honey, but then he mentioned something about mom and dad.
    It was a good read tho =]


    • GrimDeath
      April 7
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment!
      Gavril woke up in the first part; Alex is his twin sister.
      Aj is the one who woke up in part 2. Gavril and Aj are best friends so Alex is like a sister to him. They are close enough friends that Aj calls Gavril and Alex's parents mom and dad.
      Does that help a little bit


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    April 1

    Edit | Reply
    p3:
    He wasn’t fast enough the other vehicle slammed into us, the cracking glass and crunching metal surrounded us seconds before I was thrown out the windshield.

    I would suggest a semi colon between 'enough' and 'the'.

    p3:
    My entire body burned and stung like acid as I flew in mid air till I skidded across the highway.

    try using 'until' instead of 'till'

    p12:
    “He is stable for not; he’s in the next bed” the doctor said before the nurse and him left.

    now instead of not. comma after bed.

    p16-17:
    “You know I won’t be able to handle beating you up if he doesn’t come out of the coma”

    “Sweetie, he will you know he’s a fighter just like you are”

    you need punctuation at the end of the quotations. I suggest a period after coma and a period after are.



    p25:
    I felt a slight burning sensation between the pain, shortly after they seemed to dull down a bit, My body felt as if it had been at work after being up all nigh and working a long shift that day. Sheer exhaustion rushed through me as I felt my heart begin to racing.


    instead of the comma after 'bit', replace it with a period.
    nigh= night
    racing= race


    That was all I found Hope that helped I did enjoy this!

  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    April 1
    Edit | Reply
    makes for an interesting story and I like the different points of views. There were some typos (missing letters/incomplete words) that I would suggest going back through and fixing. I also would suggest separating some areas by double spacing between paragraphs, just so it doesn't come off as one giant paragraph (makes it easier for the reader)

    overall, I thought this was good and interesting.

    • GrimDeath
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      thank you for the comment. I fixed the paragraph spacing; I swear it wasn't like that when I posted it. Silly thing... I tried to find the typos but since I can't spell I can't find them.

1 - 7 of 7