Camary Jones

The sun lit up my room. This was the time of day I dreaded most; waking up and facing reality. My mother’s radio was blaring in the room next door. I rolled around in my bed until my alarm buzzed. I walked into the bathroom and caught a glance of myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy; a sleepless night spent crying over something that occurred months ago. 1

I’d never truly gotten used to the fact that Andrew was gone. I was alone, and he wasn’t coming back. It was times like this I really wanted other friends; Andrew being my only real one. I rubbed my eyes with my hands and saw the cut’s up along my arms. A slight recall of the day Andrew died replayed in my mind. The blood, the broken glass…2

I dragged my feet to the bathroom and stared in the mirror. I hardly recognized the girl standing in front of me. I pulled my lips back over my teeth and smiled an exaggerated smile. Someone was standing behind me, a boy. His eyes were dark purple, and his pale skin was bruised. He had cuts along his face and dried blood along his bottom lip. Andrew. I gasped loudly and closed my eyes, hoping he would disappear. I opened them again, but he was still there. My right hand balled up into a fist and flew to the mirror. The glass shattered under the force I’d exerted onto it. Andrew was gone, but the image of his corpse was burned into my mind. I walked away from the glass and into the shower. It was just a hallucination. He couldn’t possibly be here, unless he has a ghost that’s haunting. But I’m not superstitious. Ghosts don’t even exist, and even if they did, I wouldn’t be haunted! I was clearly freaking out; and I needed to calm down. I turned on the hot water and felt it unknot my muscles. It was relaxing and I’d soon forgotten about the hallucination. I washed the blood from my knuckles before I got out. I put band aids on four of my fingers and brushed my teeth. I opened my closet and dug for a pair of jeans and a t-shirt; I wasn’t particularly fussy about clothes. I dressed and packed my school bag. 3

After the series of events that occurred last year, I’ve been lucky enough to get a fresh start. I didn’t finish high school in mainstream schooling; I was home schooled. I was placed under house arrest by court order. I was also underwent psychotherapy because they thought I had some mental illness. I had to plead guilty and accept my sentence, or go to a juvenile detention center for a few years. My psychiatrist came up with some bullshit theory behind why I ‘killed’ Andrew; I was mentally distressed from a missing male figure in my life. And since Andrew was the only guy I’d ever had a relationship with, his infidelity cause me to lash out at him and unintentionally ‘kill’ him. It was the biggest load of bull, but it got me out of jail, so I could be grateful. 4

Lynn was already waiting in the car with the engine running.5

“Morning mum,” I said quickly, as I put on my seatbelt. 6

“Good morning Cam.” She reversed from our driveway and began driving me to school. “Are you excited? About school, I mean?” 7

“Um, yeah, I’m looking forward to it, mostly the people,” I said. My psychiatrist suggested I go into mainstream schooling for college to get me ‘re-socialized’. My initial plan was to drop out of school and live on the dol. 8

“That’s great to hear Cam,” she said warmly. “I really hope this works out; I know you’ll love it.” I smiled awkwardly as she pulled up to the school. 9

“Well, this is it.” I picked up my bag and opened the door. “I’ll see you at four,” I said. Lynn nodded lightly and smiled.10

“I love you Cam, you know that right?” She said. I leaned in and kissed her lightly on the cheek.11

“I know. I love you too mum.” 12

I walked through the large building; hundreds of pairs of eyes were drilling into my skin. Was there something wrong with what I was wearing? Was there a stain on my shirt? Was it because I was black? No. They know what happened. It probably written all over my face! I raised a hand to my face and wiped across really hard; I rubbed my lip balm from my lips to my cheek. I decided to ignore the intrusive eyes and walk to my first class. I walked into the gym for my first class. I’ve never liked physical activity, but my fitness has been better. I walked over to a group of girls wearing what seemed to be the P.E uniform; black t-shirts and black shorts.13

“Uh, hi. Is this Ms. Dean’s P.E class?” I asked them reluctantly. They all shot me looks of disgust. Oh my god! Everyone knows about Andrew! My chest felt hollow, and it became difficult to breathe. 14

“I’m sorry, are you talking to us?” one of the girls said. Her South American accent complimented her olive skin and long flowing black hair. Shit, they know about him. It’s written all over my face. I need to get out of here. 15

“It’s fine, I uh, I just wanted to check that I was in the right…” 16

“You got a name?” another girl interrupted. This girl had the typical blonde hair blue eyes thing going on for her.17

“Camary Jones.” I answered abruptly. The olive skinned girl started giggling as soon as I said my name.18

“Camary? Like a canary bird?” she continued. All the other girls standing behind her laughed in unison, all except for the blond girl. This girl was clearly bad news, giving a whole new meaning to the word bitch.19

“I guess?” I answered. I felt uncomfortable and fidgety as stood in front of these girls. I still had my bag on my back, growing impatient from waiting for the teacher to arrive. 20

“Well Camary, I’m Samantha Davidson,” the blonde said to me. She smiled warmly as she stepped closer towards me, away from the other girls. At least someone was nice to me. I extended my hand and shook Samantha’s hand.21

“I’m Cam,” I re-introduced myself. Samantha was slightly taller than me and had the body of an athlete. She put an arm around me as a gesture of friendship.22

“Kaya, I’m going to chill with Cam today,” she said. “Friends call me Sam.” A warm smile spread across her face. Kaya, the olive skinned girl cleared her throat loudly and interrupted the introduction.23

“Uh, Sam, we were supposed to be ditching class. Are you going to come with?” She made it clear I was not invited.24

“Nah, I think I’ll skip today,” Samantha said. Kaya simply rolled her eyes and walked away. 25

Sam whispered to me, “Please excuse her, she can be a bit of a bitch.” I smiled lightly. As Kaya and her clique walked out of the gymnasium, they were highly reminiscent of the girls from Mean Girls. Highly prejudicial of me, yes, but my lack of female friends caused me to assume all female cliques behaved this way.26

Samantha lightly tugged on my arm and we started walking to the girls change rooms. 27

“Her name is Kayanne DiSantio. Her dad is an ambassador at the Brazilian high commission,” Samantha explained.28

“Ah, typical rich girl, top of the food chain, thinks she’s better than everybody kind of person?” I asked Sam. Her face broke into a smile.29

“Right and wrong. We’re in college now; no one gives a shit about any of that.” Only after ten minutes of being acquainted with Samantha Davidson, I could already tell she had a colourful vocabulary. We walked into the change rooms, now flooded with the sound of girls talking. 30

“Thought you were ditching,” Sam said. Kaya rolled her eyes and took out a small tube of foundation from her hand bag. 31

“Free country. I’m free to change my mind as I please,” she said. She and her posse were standing by the change room mirrors doing their make up. It seemed ridiculous to apply make up before class; let alone P.E. Weren’t they going to sweat it off anyway? I rolled my eyes as I walked past them, and placed my bag on bench facing the wall. I took off my t-shirt and stood in the change room in my jeans and bra. I searched through my bag until I found a black t-shirt. I slipped it on and put my other top in my bag. I changed into shorts and sneakers before finding Sam talking to Kaya and her group. Sam’s face lit up when she saw me walk over.32

“You make the P.E uniform look hot,” she commented. I looked down at what I was wearing.33

“Hot?” I asked, confused. 34

“Yeah, look at you. The guys are going to go crazy if you walk out like that.” She seemed to be serious. “I’m loosing my freaking mind here dude.” That did it for me. She had to be joking about me being hot; unless. Kaya looked me up and down and pulled a face.35

“Hmm, she looks like she’s asking for it,” Kaya said. I crossed my arms across my chest; as if protecting myself from the hurt she was about to unleash.36

“I didn’t think I looked that bad,” I mumbled under my breath. 37

“Well you do,” Kaya said abruptly. Sam started laughing.38

“Kaya, you’re a jealous, pathetic idiot who needs to grow up,” Sam said suddenly. “This isn’t high school.” Sam walked over to me and grabbed my wrist. She pulled me to the exit; away from Kaya. We walked out of the change rooms, and into the hallway. The gym was a fair way away, but we walked slowly. Sam was still holding my wrist, and her grip had softened.39

“Kaya is bad news,” she said.40

“You think?” I said softly.41

“I’m sorry, this is my fault.” I was confused, searching for why anything that’d happened was Sam’s fault.42

“How?” I finally said. Sam seemed to hesitate to answer my question.43

“It’s a long story,” Sam said.44

“I love stories.” 45

Ms. Dean had begun marking the roll; we arrived as she called out my name.46

“Camary Jones?” she said. I raised my hand in the air, but remained silent. I felt numerous pairs of eyes focused on me. Either I’ve got something on my face, or everyone knows about Andrew. I looked around and saw Kaya and her girls staring at me as well. I looked away from them and my eyes met with another pair. 47

Light green eyes stared into mine from the face of someone I didn’t recognize. He had dark brown hair and very light brown skin. He smiled out of embarrassment as I’d caught him staring. I smiled back; a way to let him know it was fine. 48

“Samantha Davidson, you missed your name on the roll. You’re here?” Ms. Dean asked. Samantha nodded as the teacher marked her present.49

“I’m going to break you off into two even teams, you’re playing soccer.”50

Fate had been on my side, as I’d found myself in a team with Samantha. Our team captain was the guy I caught staring. He walked over to me and Sam and smiled lightly. 51

“Samantha, want to introduce me to your, friend here?” his eyes were fixated on mine as he spoke. He had seemingly build arms; he had the body of an athlete. He was attractive as well. I naturally assumed someone like him would be dating someone like Kayanne; beautiful people belong together. Sam sighed loudly. 52

“This is Camary,” she said quickly. “Cam, this is Aiden DiSantio. He’s Kaya’s twin brother.” A flood of relief and disappointment quickly flowed through my body. Although Aiden was not with Kayanne, he was her brother. I really hope they’re nothing alike. It must have been obvious I was nearly drooling all over Aiden; Sam nudged me lightly.53

“Cam,” he said; his eyes never leaving mine, “Nice to meet you.”54

“Like wise,” I said quietly. I managed to smile slightly; it would have been extremely embarrassing if Aiden knew I was checking him out. 55

“He’s single Cam,” Sam said. My face became hot and I shot a look at Sam. Aiden was still standing with us, not laughing at what’d happened.56

“What?” Sam said. I looked back at Aiden in embarrassment and managed to smile innocently. 57

“Sam and I are going to have to fight this one to the death, ey?” Aiden said lightly. What? To the death? Everyone knows about Andrew?!58

“Cam?” Sam said, as she nudged me. I’d been so deep into thought I had missed Aiden ask for my number. He handed me his phone and I quickly punched in my number. My face became hot as the reality of everything set in. Aiden DiSantio asked for my number. 59

“So, I’ll get you to play left wing with Sam, is that cool?” Aiden finally said. He smiled lightly and walked off. A moment too late, I nodded slightly and followed Sam to the indoor field.60

I sat down at an empty table in my physics class. I was far too early, so I was alone; I set my books out on the table and just waited. Minutes later, students flooded in and filled up all the seats. A tall girl walked into the class. She quickly scanned the room for an available seat and noticed I had no one sitting next to me. She made her way down the aisle, almost gliding up to the table I was sitting at. She had fair skin and a visible ebony black tattoo of an eye on her left wrist. She had long platinum blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. She looked like a year 12 student compared to the rest of the girls in the class. She looked me before she sat. 61

“I’m claiming the seat next to you,” she said coldly as she sat down. 62

“I’m Cam,” I said, extending a hand out to her. She ignored it and faced the front. 63

“Hmm.” She finally said, immersed in deep thought. “Cam, huh? Is that short for anything?” she asked. 64

“It’s short for Camary. I don’t know what it means or why my mother chose it. But what can you do? Nerice; that’s a nice name,” I said, smiling.65

“I know.” she said unsmiling. 66

The lesson began and ended in what seemed like an eternity, so I was glad when I heard the bell for second period ring. That was undoubtedly the longest hour of my life. Nerice was not very nice, and physics is the subject I was most likely to fail. I gathered my books and started walking out the door. I turned back and saw Nerice still seated. I could try once more to talk to her. I stopped in my tracks and looked at her. 67

“I guess I’ll see you around?” I called across the classroom. She didn’t acknowledge that I spoke to her and kept her eyes glued to the whiteboard straight ahead. I turned and walked out the door.68

My first few weeks of college had passed by quickly. Samantha and I had begun hanging out with Aiden and his friends. I was slowly becoming acquainted with Aiden, but nothing more than just friends. Gym was one of my favorite classes; my friendship with Kaya’s brother drove her insane. I don’t know why, but I could care less about her. Everyday began the same, breakfast, class, class again, lunch period, study period, class, home, sleep. The pattern had become so repetitious it felt as though I’d been doing it for years. 69

Friday afternoons were my favorite day; Aiden was in my drama class. 70

“Class, this semester we’re going to work on the ever popular; Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare,” Ms. Johnson continued. I had begun to make a habit of sitting with Aiden. 71

“So, I’m having this thing at my place,” Aiden said to me quietly as Ms. Johnson spoke. I listened as he whispered to me. As Ms. Johnson was handing out the assignment, Aiden explained the details of his party.72

“It’s on Saturday night, and you can crash a mine if you like,” he said. I smiled lightly and nodded. Aiden was inviting me to stay the night after this party. I wasn’t sure if I’d interpreted the invitation in the right way, but I was happy just being friends with him.73

“So what do you say?” Aiden said. Lynn would obviously let me go; she’s been gunning for me to make new friends. “I’ll buy your drinks.” A hard lump formed in my throat. Drinks, as in alcohol.74

“Sure, I’ll come. But my body can’t handle booze, so I’ll be alright,” I replied. 75

“Okay, cool. I’ll call you then?” Aiden asked, almost innocently.76

“Sounds good. Lynn should be up for it,” I said. 77

“And maybe we could hang out maybe?” Then it finally clicked. 78

“Sure,” I said almost reluctantly. I hadn’t been interested in guys since Andrew, and I was planning on avoiding that realm altogether. He smiled at me.79

“So, I guess you’re kinda my date to my party?” He held his hand out, mimicking a gentleman from the Elizabethan era. I nodded politely and placed my hand in his, and watched his lips slowly meet my hand. I smiled at him; Ms. Johnson the drama teacher walked to the front of the class and saw us.80

“Well, I see that some of you have already got this thing nailed,” she said. The whole class murmured under their breaths as they watched Aiden and I separate. 81

Aiden picked up a script and handed it to me. I read the title and my throat became thick. I held the script in my hands, but felt the need to put it down.82

“Cam, are you alright?” Aiden asked. My distress must have been easier to read than I had thought before. I swallowed hard, trying to erase Andrew McDonnell’s face from my mind. I shook my head vigorously, looking almost reminiscent of a dog drying itself.83

“I’m good. Let’s do this,” I said quickly. I flicked through the pages and opened up to act one scene five.84

“Do you want me to start?” Aiden offered.85

“Sure, and you’re Romeo?” I asked. Aiden broke into a quiet chuckle.86

“No, I’ve assumed the role of Juliet,” he said sarcastically. He held the white booklet to his face, and signaled to me he was about to begin.87

“Did my heart love 'til now? Forswear its sight. For I never saw true beauty 'til this night,” he began. As tacky as the scene was, it was so believable. I found myself believing Aiden wasn’t acting, but this is how he had thought of me.88

“I can’t really continue, I’m meant to be Juliet,” I corrected him. Aiden smiled deviously, as if he had intended on making that error.89

“If I profane with my unworthiest hand, this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss,” Aiden recited. He barely looked down at his script as he spoke, almost as if he’d acted as Romeo before. He reminded me of Andrew, in the way he read with such passion, belief that he wasn’t acting. He was Romeo. 90

“Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this;” I began. “For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.” He raised a hand to my face and lightly brushed my check with his thumb. He smiled widely at me, as if he was impressed with my knowledge of the lines. I’d memorized most of Juliet’s lines watching the movie with Andrew. I always found it hard to erase them from my mind.91

“Have not saint’s lips and holy palmers too?” Aiden recited, his smile slowly fading away.92

“Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer,” I said, my heart beating faster with every line recited.93

“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair,” he said. He put one arm around my waist and pulled me close to him.94

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake,” I said, breathing softly. 95

“Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take,” he leaned his face close to mine. He looked questioningly into my eyes, as if asking permission to kiss me. I slowly nodded, my eyes never leaving his. We were locked in a most passionate embrace, my body being held by his large arms. I felt so protected and I didn’t want to let go. He bent his head down and his lips softly pressed against mine. They were warm and soft; they had a sweet, unrecognizable taste. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before in my life. My knees began to feel weak again; I closed my eyes and got completely lost in the moment. Andrew’s face flashed in my mind, and my body stiffened. What the hell am I doing? I pulled away instantly and clamped a hand over my mouth. Aiden seemed confused.96

“I’m sorry, I thought you wanted to,” he began. I shook my head and dropped my hands. 97

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let you…I was just sort of lost in the moment,” I explained. He could see the regret in my eyes, and I could see the sincerity of his apology in his. “I think maybe we should do another scene?” I suggested. He nodded solemnly; he almost seemed disappointed. 98

The rest of the lesson became really awkward; he didn’t look me in the eyes once after that. We were still sitting next to each other, and I found myself staring at him once again. I was looking at his lips, remembering the kiss. It really wasn’t that bad. He’s cute, he’s a great actor, and he kissed me. Get a grip Camary. He turned to me and smiled. It was almost as is he could read my mind; feel my soul, yearning for another kiss.99

“You’re still my date to my party, right?” Aiden asked sweetly. Yes! Yes, I will be your date, and we shall converse until we both decide to stop fighting the growing attraction between us and we shall kiss once more! My imagination was getting the best of me.100

“I guess so,” I said coolly; surprised with the fact I was able to keep my hormones at bay. 101

The lunch bell sounded and we both stood from out seats. Aiden carried my books to a table and we sat down. Kayanne and her friends decided to sit with Aiden’s friends today.102

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t little tweety bird,” Kaya said. I exerted a sarcastic laughter as I acknowledged her presence. 103

“I’m surprised you managed to make a joke using that pun,” I said. Kaya seemed confused by what I’d said; Aiden was laughing quietly under his breath. Kaya shot him an evil look before taking out a notebook and pen. 104

“What’s that for?” Sam asked, chewing on an apple.105

“This party is going to be huge. We have to make the guest list exclusive; I don’t want losers at my party.” I scrunched my nose at her when she said the word losers.106

“Define losers, Kaya,” Aiden said. Kayanne nibbled on the end of her pen.107

“How do I say this nicely?” she began. “Losers, people with low social status, people who we wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with.” Kayanne seemed more and more like a bitch with every word that left her mouth.108

“What do you mean people you wouldn’t be caught dead with?” I asked, clearly annoyed with her.109

“Mainly, people with issues,” Kaya said. 110

“Issues?” Aiden asked.111

“Well, I for one wouldn’t be caught dead with someone walking around with massive cuts along her arms.” My throat became thick as I felt numerous pairs of eyes shoot to my arms. My blood began to boil under my skin and I started to feel really hot. Aiden reached held my hand in his in a reassuring gesture.112

“No one seems to think the same as you Kaya. Get your head out of high school,” Aiden said in my defense. Kaya just shrugged, showing no remorse in what she’d said. 113

“Do what ever you want Aiden, I’m not going to stop you from dating the bird,” Kaya said. Tears burned in my sockets, screaming to escape; but I refused to let my guard down in front of Kaya. I couldn’t let her know she’d gotten the best of me. 114

“As a matter of fact Kayanne, I will. Cam and I were just leaving,” Aiden said. He stood from his seat and pulled me closer to him. “Let’s go,” he said to me. I picked up my bag and walked out of the cafeteria; all the while holding Aiden’s hand. 115

We walked until we found a picnic table underneath some shade. I sat down across from Aiden and waited for him to demand an explanation for my cuts.116

“Well?” I finally asked him, when he didn’t say anything.117

“Well what?” 118

“Aren’t you going to ask me about my cuts?” I asked impatiently. Aiden shrugged.119

“It’s none of my business,” he said, tearing the glad wrap from his sandwich. 120

“Oh. Alright,” I said, slightly disappointed. I needed to explain why I pulled away from our kiss in drama. “Because, I kind of want to tell you.” I said. Aiden swallowed his bite and listened attentively.121

“I liked this guy, Andrew. He was basically my only friend throughout high school. I never bothered being friends with girls because they’re too bitchy for my liking,” I said. Aiden nodded in agreement, still chewing on his sandwich. “Andrew and I became more than friends, and he was my boyfriend. One night, we were talking about, err, taking the next step,” I said to Aiden, hoping he understood my innuendo. He nodded in agreement. “I was the ‘other girl’ because he had a girlfriend all the while he was with me.” Aiden stiffened. I began replaying the past eight months of my life. 122

~123

The students in my outdoor education class were people I didn’t acquaint myself with. It was almost difficult to find someone to sit with; trying to talk to people because you haven’t anyone else isn’t always appreciated. I walked into class one morning and sat in the only vacant seat available. I sat between Grace Harlem and Brandon Herrick. They were both blonde; Grace’s hair flowed just past her shoulders, and Brandon’s was in a crew cut. 124

“Hi,” I said to both of them as I sat in my seat. Grace gave me a dirty look before she faced the front.125

“Hey,” Brandon said. “You’re Camary, right?” I smiled politely.126

“Friends call me Cam. You’re Brandon?” 127

“Yeah; Cam,” he said smiling softly. “So, you’re the girl in the musical right? The mad hatter?” I nodded along. Alice in Wonderland the musical disaster. 128

“You watched the show?” 129

“Yeah, I bought tickets before they were sold out. It was a really good show. You were a great hatter.” Brandon smiled at me. He was clearly flirting with me, but he was failing epically. 130

“Thanks Brandon,” I said, just as the P.E teacher, Mr. Flynn walked in. 131

“I’m going to pair you up so you can put up tents on the oval,” Mr. Flynn began. “Don’t assume your partner will be the person sitting next to you. You’re picking names out of a hat.” He called up students to pick their partners until he got to me. “Camary Jones?” I walked up to the front of the class. I warily put my hand in the hat and felt the small strips of paper. I obviously couldn’t read the names with my hands; it was all up to fate. I pulled out a little strip of paper. 132

“Andrew McDonnell?” I said, looking around the room. My eyes scanned along the back row and noticed an arm shoot up in the air. It belonged to a boy wearing a black button up shirt. Oh great. I walked over to my previous seat and gathered up my books. Brandon patted me lightly on the back.133

“Too bad, you could have had me as a partner. Less awkward ey?” he said smiling. I managed to exert a fake laugh under my breath and walked over to the vacant seat next to Andrew. He pulled the chair out for me as I lay my books down on the table. I smiled politely before I sat down.134

“Andrew? Hi,” I said. He looked up through his chestnut eyelashes, unveiling a pair of deep brown eyes.135

“That’s me. And you are Camary Jones,” he said. 136

“Yeah I am. Everyone seems to know me somehow.”137

“It’s that Alice in Wonderland Musical you did. You made quite a name for yourself,” Andrew said. 138

“I knew it was a bad idea signing up. I must have been high or something,” I joked.139

“Cam? High? No way,” he said in sarcastic disbelief. I laughed along.140

“There’s more to me that meets the eye. Anyways, I figure since you’re my partner we’re going to ace this class,” I said. His light skin was dusted with a few freckles on his cheeks.141

“With my awesome camping skills and your coordination and compass reading skills we’re going to kick everyone’s asses to England.” Andrew said, clearly being sarcastic. I noted the sarcasm because, well, I was completely uncoordinated and I’d never read a compass. He took out his exercise books and started taking notes from the white board. I decided it would be wise to do the same.142

The bell for lunch rang and students exited the class room. Andrew and I were the last to leave, so we walked to the canteen together. 143

“So I don’t see you around at lunch?” Andrew asked.144

“Yeah, I tend to be in the library a lot.”145

“Library? You’re one of the ‘nerds’?” Andrew said, making air quotes with his fingers. Me a nerd? He was one to talk. 146

“No, actually I like to read. It gets my mind out of the playground politics,” I defended.147

“Playground politics?”148

“When the girls declare world war three because someone slept with someone’s boyfriend.” I had never found the need to associate myself with any girls at school. I’d become so used to spending time alone I was almost repelled to people. Everyone knew I didn’t have friends, but no one ever bothered finding out why, and I guess Andrew was brave enough to find out.149

“Well then I guess that makes perfect sense,” Andrew said sitting down at a table in the cafeteria. I sat down across the table from him and placed my books on the empty seat next to me.150

“So what about you?” I asked.151

“What about me?” 152

“What’s your deal? Any annoying habits or flaws I should know about before we become friends?” I joked. 153

“I’d be your friend?”154

“Well yeah. I mean, you’re the first person who’s ever just approached me and started talking to me,” I said. I took out my sandwich and store the glad wrap from the bread. The bright green lettuce peeked out between the brown grainy bread. 155

“What about Brandon?” Andrew’s face was serious. He ate a forkful of couscous; the smell was intoxicating.156

“That smells really good,” I digressed. “Did your mum make that for you?”157

“No, actually I did. Do you want to try some?” I helped my self to a small forkful of the appetizing food and my senses went wild.158

“That is so good.” My speech was muffled through a mouthful of food. “You cooked this? Dear lord.” I went in for another forkful.159

“Yeah, I pretty much fend for myself at home, so I try to make food that tastes good.”160

“You, independent? No need for parents’ ey?”161

“Well I wouldn’t say that exactly. They would do things for me if they were alive,” Andrew said. I slowly swallowed the mouthful of couscous in my mouth.162

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”163

“No it’s fine! Please don’t feel sorry for me, I didn’t even know them so it doesn’t matter much.” I pushed the couscous back to him and crossed my arms. As sad as the situation was, I couldn’t get the taste of the couscous out of my head. My sandwich would have tasted like cardboard in comparison. I let it sit there, feeling like an idiot.164

“Look, Cam. Please don’t feel bad, you didn’t even know.”165

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.”166

“Empathy may work on some people, but I generally tend to keep myself from it.”167

“Then I’ll change the subject. Can I have the recipe for that couscous? I’m having pleasurable convulsions after eating that,” I said lightly. Andrew took my hand in his and smiled. 168

“Thanks.”169

We started having lunch frequently and became better acquainted. I decided I wanted to know more about Andrew; his past and future.170

“My parent’s died in a plane crash when I was five; I was staying with my grandmother at the time,” he told me. 171

“They both died together?” I asked curiously.172

“Yeah, it’s kind of weird the way it happened. My mother was a stewardess and my father was a pilot. They were away from home a lot so I practically lived with my grandmother.” We were at Everstone Park, lying on the grass under a large tree. 173

“Did they work for the same airline?” I asked, playing with a daisy chain I had made.174

“Yes they did. They weren’t meant to get booked onto the same flights, but the one time they do, lady luck gets pissed,” Andrew was fiddling with the grass in his hands. “My dad was flying the plane when it crashed, and my mother was amongst the thirty or so people that died, and that’s including my dad.175

“The passengers’ family is trying to sue the airline, but what good is that going to do since my dad’s dead? I mean he was the one flying the plane, but he wasn’t responsible for killing those people.” I listened quietly and noted the pain in Andrew’s voice. I instinctively reached for his hand and our fingers interlocked. I squeezed his hand gently to let him know it was okay.176

“And anyway,” Andrew continued, “It could have been the aircraft that screwed up while in the air. I don’t trust foreign things; those Korean aircrafts don’t always work.” I immediately pulled my hand away.177

“All foreign things?” I asked, clearly hurt.178

“Not all.” He said, lightly touching the back of my palm with his fingers. My pain disappeared as soon as he touched me. I smiled lightly at Andrew.179

“I love your skin,” he said. He was still tracing unrecognizable shapes on the back of my hand. His skin seemed quite pale in comparison to my brown skin. I coughed lightly.180

“No one’s ever said that to me,” I answered.181

“No one’s ever gotten this close to you.” Andrew smiled at me. “So, what’s your deal?” I thought for a moment before I spoke.182

“Hmm. Um, I guess I could say I moved to Australia when I was six years old with my mum,” I began.183

“Where’d you come from?” Andrew asked.184

“South Africa. My mum got a job offer here and we migrated. Best decision she ever made.” 185

“What, no father?”186

“My dad died before I was born. He got alcohol poisoning. He wasn’t much of a drinker, and the one night he tries his first ‘whiskey on he rocks’, he get poisoned.” I looked down at Andrew’s hands, still fiddling with the grass. 187

“It must have been hard growing up without a dad,” Andrew empathized. I lightly shook my head.188

“No, not really. I’m not close to anyone, not even my mother. But I turned out okay.” Andrew rolled over close to me, propped up from the ground on his elbows. 189

“You can be close to me,” he said. Our fingers interlocked once more and I smiled.190

“You’re a really good friend to me Andrew,” I said. Andrew sighed quietly.191

“So are you.”192

Four months passed since the second semester had started and I was taking my outdoor education practical test. If the test was a theoretical test, I would have aced it. But I had to put up a tent, and I thought I would fail miserably. Our class was on the oval and we all took turns putting up the tent. I had given up all hope; that is until Andrew stepped in.193

“Need help?” he asked, observing the pile of pegs and rope on the ground. I nodded quickly, showing my desperation. Andrew separated all the different parts of the tent and started anew. Within 5 minutes, a majestic blue tent stood up strong. I was impressed; and now I was going to ace it. Mr. Flynn came over to mark the tent.194

“Very good Camary, keep it up.” He gave me a small white sheet with an A grade written neatly in blue pen. I smiled and walked over to Andrew.195

“This is because of you,” I said, holding the grade up to his face. He lightly put his arms around my waist. 196

“What are friends for?” he said, as I put my arms around his neck. Physical contact had become a daily routine, but it was strictly friendly. Or so I thought. I wasn’t really used to it, but I became more comfortable with it.197

“Seriously, you deserve an extra long hug for that.” We hugged tightly for a while. I finally pulled away and smiled. We walked to a bench and sat down. We watched the other students in our class try to put up the tent. 198

“Would you date anyone in this class?” Andrew asked suddenly. I looked at all the boys, and none of them appealed to me.199

“Hmm, I’d have to say no,” I finally answered. Andrew laughed.200

“Not even me?” He went silent. I really should have seen this coming; what with our friendship becoming physical. He looked into my eyes; awaiting my answer. My lips involuntarily curled up at the corners.201

“Hmm, I’d have to see if you’re my type,” I said casually. 202

“Camary Jones has a type? What’s your type?” he said.203

“You’d have to find out yourself,” I teased. He put his arm around me.204

“Don’t worry about that sweetheart, I will.” I leaned into his arms and smiled up at him. 205

I was sitting in my room the same afternoon. Open books were scattered all over my bed. I was in the middle of studying for my Trig test the following week. My mobile phone buzzed.206

“Meet me at Everstone Park at 7pm tonight207

- Andrew x208

I wasted no time replying.209

“Can’t wait210

~ Cam xx211

I had no idea what was going to happen at the park, but I hoped it would be worth sneaking out. My mother wouldn’t let me out on a school night; especially during assessment period. I closed all my books and put them away. The sandals I was wearing were highly inappropriate for sneaking out; I changed into my white Chuck Taylor’s. I picked up my back pack and climbed out my bedroom window. Without looking back, I ran fast until I reached the end of my street. The bus stop was less than a hundred meters away so I slowed my pace and started walking casually. The familiar roar of the bus came sooner than I expected; I began running for the bus stop. I looked behind me to the fast approaching bus. My arms were signaling it to stop as it came to a screeching halt. The doors swung open and I climbed onto the bus. The bus driver looked at me as I tried to catch my breath.212

“Maybe you should get to the bus stop on time,” he snapped rudely. I looked at my watch. 213

“Maybe you should get to my bus stop at the right time. You’re nine minutes too early,” I said walking away. I sat down in the first seat I saw. My phone buzzed again; it was another message from Andrew.214

“Can’t make it to the park, can you meet me at the mall?215

- Andrew xx216

I breathed a sigh of relief. The mall was only 4 stops away and I would avoid walking in the blistering sun. 217

“Sure thing. C u there (:218

~ Cam xxx219

I rang the bell to signal the bus driver to stop at the mall. As I stepped off the bus, the heat hit me like a wrecking ball to my gut. I literally felt as if I walked into an oven running at 1000° Celsius. I wasted no time walking into the air conditioned shopping complex. The cool air danced on my skin; the cold sweet air filled my lungs. I looked around and found Andrew sitting at a bench next to a Krispy Kreme stall. He held a small white envelope in his hands; eyes down looking at his hands. I walked to the bench and sat down next to him. 220

“The bus driver was a complete ass hole,” I started. Andrew looked up at me.221

“Are you in a bad mood now?” he asked. 222

“I was.”223

“Before you saw me?” his eyes were filled with anticipation. 224

“Maybe,” I said playfully, nudging him lightly. “So what have you pulled me from studying for? This’d better be important,” I joked. 225

“I was hoping we could get coffee, maybe talk?” he said standing up. “Come on, I know this great place.” I stood up and walked next to him. We walked into a small café in the mall called Rendezvous. The sweet smell of coffee flew into my nose and filled my lungs. It was the most pleasurable scent imaginable. He smiled at me as he pulled out my chair. I sat down and took my back pack off.226

“This place is nice,” I said. 227

“Wait till you taste the coffee,” he said. “What did you want to drink?”228

I looked at the menu card on our table. I’d never cared for the taste of coffee, but the smell was absolutely intoxicating. 229

“I’ll just get a soy Chai latte,” I said. “I don’t drink coffee, but I love the smell.” The smell of the café reminded me of the time my grandmother bought me coffee beans.230

Andrew placed our order at the front counter and returned with a table number as he sat across from me. 231

“So, what’s this really about?” I asked. Andrew sighed. He took out the envelope I saw him holding when I got to the mall. He handed it to me.232

“Please don’t read that now. Wait till I’m not here; it’s quite embarrassing,” he said. I smiled and put the white envelope into my bag. 233

“So what test were you studying for?” 234

“Trig. I’m really pathetic at Math,” I said. Our drinks arrived at that moment. Andrew had ordered a decaffeinated mocha. The smell was infuriatingly delicious. I wanted to ask to try it, but I would just be repulsed at the taste. 235

“But I’m very glad you did,” I continued. “I needed a break and what better way to spend it than with you,“ Andrew smiled shyly.236

“If I wasn’t in your class and still asked you to hang out, would you have?”237

“Probably not. I wouldn’t even be friends with you, and you wouldn’t have asked me to hang out anyways.”238

“I guess. I would never have taken you for a book worm.” I smiled as I lowered my mug.239

“I told you, I like to be alone,” I smiled as I sipped from my mug once more.240

“It doesn’t have to be that way you know.” Andrew reached out and held my hand in his as he spoke. “You just have to wait for the right person to come along.”241

Andrew was perfect. And he wanted me. 242

“Maybe…” I squeezed his hand tighter. “Maybe he’s already here.” Andrew smiled softly.243

“You should probably get home, that trig test is pretty important.” We stood up from our seats and left the café. 244

We began the walk from the mall to the bus stop. Andrew thought it would be fun to begin a game of twenty questions.245

“What’s your favorite movie and why?” he asked.246

“That’s a hard one,” I said. “I’d have to say Atonement, because it was a sad romance film. It’s a very relatable film; I only watch movies that are plausible. Sci-fi and fantasy are totally out for me. I want be lost in something that can happen to me.” Andrew walked beside me with both hands in his pocket.247

“But the lovers die in Atonement.” Andrew said.248

“Yeah. But everyone dies eventually. What’s your favorite movie and why?”249

“Hmm, Romeo and Juliet,” he said. I couldn’t help but laugh at him.250

“That’ interesting,” I said through laughter.251

“Laugh all you want, I’m a sucker for chick flicks. And anyways, I make a way better Romeo than Leonardo DiCaprio. People don’t fall in love like that anymore,” Andrew explained.252

“But Romeo and Juliet die in the end,” I said mimicking Andrew’s previous statement. 253

“But everyone dies eventually.”254

The sun began to set; coloring the sky deep amber and purple on its descent. We were both watching the sunset as we walked; Andrew’s fingers slowly found their way to mine. Our fingers were interlocked with each other.255

“I should go now,” he said. “We’ll play later?” The bus was slowly approaching my stop. 256

“Sure, I’ll see you at school then?” I said; still holding is hand.257

“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow,” Andrew quoted. I raised a single eyebrow.258

“Isn’t that my line Mr. Montague?” I joked. Andrews’ lips unexpectedly met mine. His lips slowly parted I tasted his sweet breath on my tongue. My heart began palpitating, and I kissed him back gently. A loud horn blared dangerously close to us; it was the same bus driver that had driven my bus to the mall.259

“Am I interrupting anything?” he said. I quickly pulled my lips away from Andrew’s. He walked in the opposite direction and our hands slowly slid our hands apart as I climbed on the bus. I ignored the driver’s remark and paid my fair. He mumbled something unintelligent under his breath as he pulled out from the stop. Time for the long ride home.260

Sneaking into my room is at least five times harder than sneaking out. I had forgotten to wind the shutters up so I found myself tangled in them. After ten minutes of struggling to fit through my bedroom window, I finally squeezed through. I landed on my bed and panted loudly; regaining my breath. Footsteps approached my room and I quickly destroyed all evidence of leaving my room. I shoved my sneakers under my bed and threw my back pack into the closet. I pulled out my math text book and opened out flat on my bed. The footsteps drew closer, and I was now lying on my bed reading. The door opened slowly and I turned around.261

“Cam, dinner’s ready,” my mother said.262

“I’ll be down in a minute Mum,” I said. I closed my text book and walked to the door. My mother leaned her head into my hair.263

“Why do you smell like coffee?” Shoot! Excuse, excuse…264

“I was, err, playing with grandma’s beans again.” That should be a good enough cover. My mother gave me a look of disbelief but she didn’t bother arguing. I walked out of my room and she closed the door behind me. 265

Sneaking out to meet Andrew had become a part of my daily routine. Lynn thought I was studying in my room, but most of the time I wouldn’t be in the house. One night, I decided to tell her I was studying at the public library overnight, but I planned on staying over at Andrew’s. 266

I was sitting cross legged on his bed studying physics and he was on the computer. 267

“So I was thinking,” Andrew stood up from the computer and lay across his bed, I looked up at him. 268

“Hmm,” I said.269

“We never finished playing twenty questions,” Andrew said. “And I would very much like to play.”270

“Okay, but you can start, I’m pathetic at this.” I said, closing my books and uncrossing my legs. I rested my head on Andrew’s chest; looking up at the ceiling. Andrew’s fingers began exploring my hair as my eyes traced around the inanimate objects in his room. 271

“How do you feel right now?” 272

“Is that your question? You can do better than that,” I joked.273

“Just answer it Cam,” Andrew replied.274

“Umm. I’m kind of neutral. Maybe a little tired,” I said. I looked at my wristwatch and it read 11:15 pm.275

“I know you can do better than that,” Andrew said. His fingers began to curl in my hair. They moved down my hairline as he stroked the back of my neck. I thought for a moment; thought of being with Andrew.276

“I feel like I can be myself when I’m around you,” I started. “Like, nothing else matters when I’m with you. You make me forget about everything else. I love how you are still my best friend even though you are my boyfriend. I can still have fun with you but still be in love with you.”277

“In love?” Andrew sat up, and I sat up facing him. This moment could make or break what we have.278

“I am, in love with you Andrew,” I confessed. I felt the adrenalin pump through my veins. I closed my eyes and tried to regain my composure. Soft lips lightly pressed against mine. I threw my arms around his neck and locked our embrace. His lips parted and our tongues danced lightly in the space between our lips. I heart rate quickened as his hands wrapped tight around my body. He exhaled as our lips parted briefly; the taste of his breath dancing lightly on my tongue. My body took over and let my hormones get the best of me; Andrew was pinned down on his bed with my body on top of his. Andrew cupped my face in his hands and pulled my yearning lips away. We both breathed with exhaustion as we looked into each others eyes.279

I lay in his arms; legs still tangled in his. My eyelids became heavy and I fell asleep in his arms. 280

The next morning Andrew walked me home. It was just past nine am and I had already received a very worried phone call from my mother, demanding I begin the long walk home from the ‘library’. Andrew had his arm around my waist as we walked; the first time he held me so close in public. 281

“Now would be a good time to continue twenty questions,” I said. 282

“Alright, I think it’s your turn to ask,” Andrew said.283

“What’s your favorite food?” I asked. It was the most random question, but I didn’t have to be romantic with him twenty four hours of the day.284

“Like you’d have to ask?”285

“Couscous?” I said.286

“You know it,” Andrew said, softly nibbling on my right earlobe as we walked. I couldn’t help giggling.287

“That’s really gross,” I said through laughter.288

“What is?” Andrew said; his words muffled through my ear.289

“What you’re doing now!” I squealed as I jumped away from him.290

“Come on baby, you love it!” he called, chasing after me. I ran down the street; my back pack hitting my lower back. Andrew was not far behind me; he was catching up fast. I felt his arms wrap around my waist tightly as he tackled me to the ground. We landed on the grass and exploded into laughter. Andrew was on top of me and lightly kissed me. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. 291

Tires screeched in the road next to us and a car door slammed. Angry footsteps became louder, thudding the ground as they approached.292

“You tell me you’re studying and I find you fornicating on public property?!” a loud female voice bellowed. Mum. Andrew immediately jumped up and helped me up. 293

“It’s not what it looks like mum,” I said, brushing the grass from my clothes. My mothers eyes stayed locked on Andrew as she spoke.294

“I don’t want any excuses. Get in the car,” she said, her eyes finally leaving Andrew’s and locked onto mine. I took one last look at Andrew as I closed the front door. He was still standing on the grass unsmiling; his half unbuttoned black shirt creased and his chestnut hair wild and untamed. 295

Lynn sped down the road as I put on my seatbelt.296

“I thought you were studying.” Her eyes were fixated on the road.297

“I was.”298

“Then what the hell where you doing with that boy?” Lynn asked. I’d never bothered introducing Lynn to Andrew, and after today, chances are I wouldn’t see him very often.299

“That boy is Andrew McDonnell, mum.” Lynn’s eyes never left the road, but the change in her expression was confusing.300

“The same Andrew you went out with the other night?” she asked, all anger suddenly disappearing.301

“Yeah,” I said reluctantly. 302

“Hmm,” Lynn said, breaking into a slight smile.303

“What’s the hmm for?” I asked, now becoming irritated. One second, she’s about to sentence me to eternal solitary confinement, then next, she’s smiling about Andrew. 304

“He’s kind of cute.” 305

“Mum,” I began.306

“No, he is. He reminds me of someone I used to know,” Lynn began.307

“I don’t want to know about one of your ex boyfriends, mum. Just leave it.”308

“Hey, one of those ex boyfriends is your dad, so maybe one day you’ll be grateful to hear about him.” 309

Lynn was always talking about her high school hook ups and relationships when a wide range of guys. My mum fell pregnant at seventeen with me, but she says she doesn’t know who my father is. And not knowing didn’t bother me. 310

“Did you sleep with him?” Lynn asked intrusively. What kind of question was that? How dare she ask me if I’ve slept with him? Not everyone has to sleep around, fall pregnant and not know the father. As I thought about this, a lump formed in my throat, and went down painfully as I swallowed.311

“No.”312

“Why do I find that hard to believe?” Time to lash out, all guilt aside. 313

“I didn’t sleep with him mum, okay? I’m not you,” I said. Lynn’s face became almost expressionless as she never looked out the windshield as she drove. 314

Andrew’s familiar knock sounded on my bedroom window. It was two a.m and I was completely unconscious. He knocked slightly louder until I woke up. I opened my bedroom window and watched him as he climbed through. He landed on my bed in a tangled heap. I sat up and edged away from him as he recovered from entry into my room. He stared at me; I was wearing a light green satin camisole and a pair of light green underwear to bed. 315

“What are you doing here?” I snapped.316

“I came to see you, what with your grounding and all,” he said; eyes still fixated on my body. 317

“Take a picture,” I joked.318

“Can I?”319

“Ah, no. Scoot over,” I said as I lay next to him. I stretched my arm around him and nuzzled my face into his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and gently caressed my neck.320

“How much trouble are you in?” he said in a quiet voice.321

“A lot,” I mumbled through sleep.322

“I’m so sorry.” I raised my head from his chest.323

“Please don’t be. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me,” I said. I leaned up to kiss him, but he looked away.324

“I don’t want you to be in any sort of trouble with your mother because of me.” I got up on my knees and looked him in the eyes.325

“Andrew, please.” The moon light colored Andrews skin pale blue in the darkness of my room. 326

“Your skin is blue in the dark,” Andrew said unexpectedly, now playing with my hair.327

“Really? Because I would have thought it would just be black,” I joked. Andrews’s chuckle only lasted half a second. 328

“That’s not cool Cam.”329

“What?” I said, sitting cross legged on my bed facing Andrew. 330

“That you make fun of your ethnicity. You’re beautiful under the moonlight.”331

“So are you,” I said, smiling. “Close your eyes.” Andrew obeyed and I leaned into his face. Our lips were nearly a millimeter apart; his scent filled my lungs. He moved closer to my lips, but I moved away to tease him. 332

“What is this? Kiss me damn it.” Andrew said.333

“Shhh.” My lips lightly touched his. The teasing had become too much for Andrew, his hands now cupping my face. His lips pressed hard against mine. Our breathing got heavy as we lay on my bed; our lips never parting. 334

“You know what my mum asked me in the car this morning?” I asked when we finally separated.335

“What?” Andrew said, as he laid his head on my pillow.336

“She asked me if I had sex with you.”337

“What did you say?”338

“I told her no, but she didn’t believe me.”339

“Why wouldn’t she believe you?” he asked. I smiled deviously as I lay on top of him.340

“Because when she was my age, she was promiscuous.”341

“Thank goodness you’re not Lynn then, ey?” Andrew said. I cut him off with a hard kiss. My senses were going wild. Andrew’s scent was a drug and I was on my high.342

My hands had a mind of their own; exploring Andrew’s body. His shirt came off and my hands appreciated the smoothness of his body. Andrew’s hands groped my waist as he kissed me hard. His hands found their way under my shirt. He touched me carefully, as if he was handling glass. His arms wrapped around my lower abdomen and he softened his kiss. I pulled away gently and we breathed heavily. Andrew’s eyes were locked on mine as he smiled. They almost burned with intensity as he held me in his arms.343

“I love you Andrew,” I said softly.344

“Me too,” Andrew said, slowly kissing my hair. 345

Two days had passed and I hadn’t heard from Andrew. At school, he was a no show, leaving me as a loner at recess and lunch. 346

One night, his absence became too much for me and I decided to take action and call him. The phone rang in my ear several times. 347

“Andrew?” I asked. Female laughter was in the background.348

“Hey Cam,” Andrew said.349

“Hey, where have you been?”350

“I, uh, went to my nan’s for a couple of days,” Andrew answered. His voice seemed uneasy; the voice of a liar. The female laughter; which sounded juvenile, became louder.351

“But I thought you lived with your Nan?” I asked, now becoming suspicious.352

“I mean my Nan’s sister. I just call her Nan as well. Listen, Cam I’ve gotta go…” Andrews’s voice trailed off. 353

“Babe, put the phone away. I’m lonely,” The female voice said. The phone slipped from my hand and fell to the ground. My head felt hollow; I stumbled at fell onto my bed. I lay facing the ceiling. My heart was beating extremely fast, but it began to slow down. That probably isn’t what it sounded like. Andrew wasn’t unfaithful. There was no way. 354

The following day at school was okay. I met Andrew in our normal spot and we had lunch together. Although everything seemed normal, in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think that something was up.355

“So,” I said to Andrew as he walked me home. “How are your ‘Nan’?”356

Andrew looked confused and avoided eye contact with me.357

“She’s good.” 358

I studied Andrew’s face carefully, reading for the signs of infidelity. 359

“So you didn’t tell me you where leaving?” I asked. This must have seemed like the Spanish inquisition to him; what with all my drilling questions.360

“Yeah, sorry about that. Um, it was kind of a last minute thing.” Andrew was no longer confused; I almost couldn’t interpret the expression on his face. I stopped walking and looked at Andrew, he realized I’d stopped and he turned to face me.361

“Don’t you want to go home?” Andrew said. I shook my head vigorously.362

“Look, Andrew, there’s something you’re not telling me.” Of course he’s not going to tell me that he’s cheating on me with someone else; because I’m just being paranoid.363

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Andrew replied.364

“Oh, don’t you?” I replied. My tone was clearly accusatory.365

“Actually no. I don’t.” Andrew’s voice was stern as he spoke to me.366

“I heard something over the phone the night I called you. Something that was kind of disturbing.”367

“What?” Andrew said, innocently and genuinely intrigued with my assumption. 368

“Some girl was saying something like “Put the phone away, I’m lonely”, but I didn’t know how to take it. I didn’t know how to feel,” I said. Andrew was unmoving as I spoke. “Are you cheating on me Andrew?” I awaited his answer, but he just stood in front of me. He walked towards me painfully slowly and locked my shoulders in his hands.369

“Oh, I didn’t know we couldn’t see other people,” Andrew said matter-of-factedly. My chest suddenly felt hollow, almost as if it was about to cave in.370

“What?” I asked in disbelief. I thought you were my boyfriend. And I loved you, I still do.”371

“Listen, Cam. I’m flattered you love me, really, I am. And I’ve had a great time with you over the past few months. So why ruin it now?” Andrew explained, as he walked over to me. “Look. I’m just dating at the moment, but when I’m ready, I’ll be a one woman man.”372

“Who is she?” I asked, pushing aside his explanation.373

“Who?” Andrew asked innocently.374

“The other girl! Who is she?” I screamed. Adrenalin had begun to flow through my veins. 375

“Cam, just calm down,” Andrew said. He walked closer and held me in his arms. His touch almost burned me. These arms had held another; his lips had kissed some other girl. Our relationship wasn’t sacred anymore. 376

“Andrew,” I said finally calm. “Is this why you’ve never said you love me?” Countless times I’d told him I loved him, and all the while he didn’t love me back. He would merely reply with “Me too.” What kind of answer is that? If he truly loved me he’d say he did.377

“I do love you Cam, but not in the same way,” Andrew said.378

“Oh.” A million thoughts were rushing through my head. What did all this mean?379

“But I’m telling you know, if you were the only girl, do you honestly believe that I would cheat on you?” Andrew asked, as his eyes burned into mine. Well after these revelations, yeah! I think you would. Looking into Andrew’s eyes, I’d almost forgotten the girl’s voice, or that it even happened.380

“No, I don’t. I’m sorry,” I said. Andrew smiled softly as he pulled my body closer to his.381

“Let’s just forget it happened, okay?” Andrew said, as his lips slowly caressed my jaw line. 382

“Okay.” Andrew kissed me hungrily; harder than he ever had before. He pulled me tight to his body, holding me close. Naturally, I kissed him back. He pulled away quickly and stepped away from me.383

“Let’s go.” I felt as though I’d been thirsty for a while, and I’d reached an oasis that had a very limited amount of water. I wasn’t even half satisfied. Andrew walked quickly ahead of me. 384

I sat in my room with my mobile phone in my hand. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. What if he was with his other girl? What if he’d decided he doesn’t want me anymore? I felt like crying, screaming, tearing up my room. But I was so numb. My phone started vibrating in my hands and I quickly left behind my previous state of existence. 385

My phone started ringing and I picked it up. My arm flew the phone to my ear. 386

“Andrew?” I managed to cough out.387

“Yeah it’s me.” Andrew replied on the other end.388

“So, what’s up?” I asked; obviously referring to the other girl.389

“I’m a one woman man.” Within seconds, Andrew’s familiar knock sounded on my bedroom window as I hung up the phone. 390

I opened the window for him and watched him enter my room. He stood up from my bed and looked at me as I stood against my bedroom door.391

“Well?” I demanded. Andrew ran towards me and cupped my face in his hands. He breathed in heavily before pressing his hungry lips to mine. He kissed me harder than he ever had before. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck as routine. Within seconds, Andrew’s shirt met the ground. My senses went wild as they had nights ago, smelling him; touching him. The way Andrew touched me was like a thirsty man drinking from an oasis. My body was screaming for his; his touch. 392

“I’m so sorry for everything,” Andrew said.393

“Did you break up with her?” I asked. Andrew was kissing my neck hungrily.394

“Would I be here right now if I didn’t?” he continued to kiss my neck, and slowly slipping his hands under my shirt.395

“I guess…” I said, my body going into shock. My heart was going crazy, beating at a thousand beats a minute. My mind was still deep in thought. I’m still one of two girls he’s dating. I don’t want to be one of his hussies. If anything was going to happen between us, it’d have to be just between me and him, and no one else.396

“But that doesn’t answer my question.” I finally said.397

“I’ll do it today.” Andrew said casually, still maneuvering his hands under my shirt. My body went cold.398

“So you’re not a one woman man?” I whispered. Andrew sighed as his hands left my body. Although I was mad, my body missed his touch as soon as he left.399

“It’s not that big of a deal. She doesn’t mean anything to me,” Andrew said, as he took me into his arms once more. 400

“It is a big deal Andrew. I’m not just going to lose my virginity to you if I’m just another girl to you. And how do I know that you haven’t said the same thing to her?” I said. I sat up in my bed, staring at the carpet. I couldn’t look Andrew in the eyes, not after what he’d said. Andrew’s fingers lightly raised my chin, his eyes drilling into mine.401

“If you loved me, it wouldn’t matter.” He said almost threateningly. “I mean; what have you got to lose?” he said, lightly caressing my lips with his thumb. My heart started beating faster.402

“I guess…” I was interrupted by a pair of soft lips to mine. They moved rhythmically to the beat of my heart, Andrew’s fingers still caressing my neck. His lips began to move down, softly trailing to my chin; the hollow of my neck, my collar bone. He was kissing up and down my neck; fingers now fiddling with my buttons. I was completely lost in the moment, breathing heavily. My eyes were closed; my other senses were stronger. My skin was sensitive to his touch; his fingers lightly caressing my skin left a blazing trail. My temperature began to rise as Andrew laid me on my bed. At this point my shirt was already on the floor, and Andrews fingers dances across my mid section down to my waist. His fingers started unbuttoning my jeans. His hands started roaming violently; as if he had been possessed by a demon. My heart started beating faster than before, not out of pleasure, but out of fear.403

“Andrew, can you stop for a sec?” I needed to think for a moment. I needed to think about what I was doing, and who I was hurting in the process. I was about to sleep with someone’s boyfriend, and that was enough to keep my hormones at bay. Andrew seemed to ignore my plea as he ripped my jeans off and threw them to the other end of the room. I started to panic, regretting the situation I have placed myself in. 404

“Andrew. Stop.” I tried to push his shirtless body from mine, but he got back on top again. He was sucking on my neck; pinning my wrists down on my sides. I struggled to move; I lay on the bed motionless. My eyes were burning as tears filled and spilled over. I didn’t make a single sound. Andrew came up from my neck and saw my tears. His eyes were hungry; but soon overrun with remorse. He let me go at once and got off me. He stumbled to the opposite end of the room and watched me laid out across his bed. I didn’t get up at all. I tried to swallow but a painful lump had formed in my throat. Tears were streaming down my face and I sobbed soundlessly on the bed. I was still in undressed; only in my bra and underwear. Andrew took two steps back to the bed and stopped.405

“Cam.” His voice was filled with sincere regret as he stood there shirtless. He picked my clothes up from the ground and placed them on his bed; I still lay there unmoving. “Cam. I’m, I’m so sorry.” He touched my stomach lightly. My blood boiled at his touch, my stomach churned in its place. I breathed in deeply and clenched fistfuls of blanket in my hands. 406

“Don’t. Touch me,” I cried through my teeth. I breathed for a few seconds; rage building up inside me. I shot up on his bed and looked at him. I stood from the bed; my eyes still locked on his.407

“I told you to stop.” I said calmly. Andrew sat on the bed looking up at me.408

“I’m so sorry, I got…” I picked Andrew’s clothes from my floor and threw them at him.409

“I’m going to get a drink. Do you want a drink?” I digressed. I angrily wiped the salty tears from my chin and eyes as I pushed past Andrew as I walked out my bedroom door. He just stood there, wondering what was going on. 410

“Cam, what are you doing?” he called behind me. He followed me into the kitchen. I opened the pantry and saw a large clear bottle filled with an amber colored liquid. I found two glasses and filled them to the top. I offered one and to Andrew, and he accepted it, looking confused.411

“You know what they say, Andrew,” I began, holding the glass and bottle full of whiskey in my hand. “Whiskey, makes the pain go away.” I raised the glass to my lips. I sculled the liquid and felt it burn my throat. The pain was excruciating; my throat felt like it was about to bleed. I sucked the cup dry and smacked my lips. All the while, Andrew was standing in the kitchen, holding his glass of whiskey.412

“Cam, what’s this about?” he asked me. He put the glass down on the counter and stepped towards me. I stepped back away from him, still holding the bottle. I ignored him as I unscrewed the lid from the bottle. I drank the liquid, as if I’d been thirsty for days, mistaking the whiskey for a tall glass of ice water. 413

“You know what really annoys me about you Andrew?” I said. I could tell my voice was louder than necessary, but at this point, I didn’t care. Andrew was now completely dressed. 414

“Cam, please,” Andrew said, trying to calm me down. I walked closer to him. I slid my hands under his shirt, feeling his body.415

“You act like, I’m the only girl in your life,” I said, now removing his shirt. “You act like; I’m the love of your life. But all the while, you’ve got a little hussy waiting for you at home.” My hands moved to his lower abdomen. I unbuckled his belt and started to pull down his pants.416

“Cam, you need to stop for a bit,” Andrew said, pushing me away. He buckled up his pants as I stood watching. I laughed loudly as I watched him.417

“But Andrew, honey. What’ve you got to lose?” I walked over once again and kissed him hard. I forced my tongue into his mouth, battering his. Although I’d never kissed him so hard, I couldn’t feel anything. My mouth, my taste buds, everything was numb. So I tried harder; and tasted something sickeningly salty and almost metallic. 418

“Cam, you bit me!” Andrew yelped, as he pulled away. “You seriously need to stop. I’m bleeding.” I smiled as I saw Andrew squirm in pain. The blood on his top lip dripped down onto his shirt. I picked up the bottle of whiskey and took one last skull. When it was empty, I threw it at Andrew’s head. He quickly moved his head and watched the glass bottle shatter to a million pieces on the wall behind him.419

“What the fuck Cam!” he screamed. “I’m out of here,” Andrew quickly walked into the lounge room, and walked over to the glass. I found a large piece. I held it carelessly in my hand. The glass cut into my skin like a razor blade to butter. I was numb, and couldn’t feel anything. I walked over to the lounge, where I found Andrew standing at the front door. He saw the trail of blood behind me and walked over to me.420

“You’re bleeding Camary,” he said, as he realized I was holding the glass.421

“How dare you come in here while you still have a girlfriend?!” I’d lost all civility, not caring if the neighbors could here me. “I ought to kill you for that shit!” Andrew stood up and headed for the door. I was not far behind him as he ran for his life. He tripped over the door mat and hit his head on the coffee table. He became unconscious, and unmoving. I raised my bleeding arm into the air and watched it race towards Andrew’s neck. What the hell was I doing? As much as I hated the prick, I couldn’t kill him. That’s just crazy. I dropped the red piece of glass and looked at my hands, completely covered in my own blood. I ignored the pain. I knelt down at Andrew’s head and raised it slowly. I cradled him in my arms, as if he were a child. I stroked his hair, and felt a warm sticky liquid at the back of his head. There was a large red stain on the carpet where he’d fallen.422

“Shit!” I screamed. I slapped Andrew a few times to wake him up. The harder I slapped, the more hope I’d lost. I’d killed him. I was the reason this guy was dead. I started shaking him, violently, hoping he would wake back up.423

“Wake up Andrew, wake up!” I pressed my index and middle finger to his neck and searched for a pulse. I really hoped there would be a slight thud under his skin. I really hoped he was alive. Nothing. 424

“Fuck.” I stood up and let Andrew’s head drop to the floor. I looked around the room, broken glass, blood, whiskey. I had two options. I could call an ambulance, but the police would get involved, and I’d get into so much trouble for this. Or, I could dump the body, clean up this mess and forget it ever happened. The second option looked pretty appealing. 425

I ran to the kitchen and found a large black garbage bag. I tried to drag the body into it, but it was too big. Maybe, it would fit if there was a larger bag. Or smaller sections. I went back into the kitchen and found my mother’s butcher’s knife. 426

~427

Aiden sat facing me with his mouth hanging. He was clearly lost for words, and not in a good way. I swallowed hard and angrily wiped hot tears from my eyes as I waited for him to get up and leave. I waited for him to leave me alone, to get up and run around to the whole school and tell them I was a murderer. He finally got up and walked away. He left and didn’t look back. 428

Two days passed and Aiden didn’t come to school. I knew I shouldn’t have told him about Andrew. But he needed to know. If anything was going to happen, which it was, he needed to know. My emotionally baggage couldn’t stop me from being one hundred percent with this guy. I regretted telling Aiden, but part of me felt relieved. I expected his absence was, but it still hurt like hell.429

I was looking into my locker for my physics textbook and failed. I slammed it shut and Aiden was standing next to me. My heart jumped at this surprising appearance.430

“Aiden,” I said softly. He had both hands in his pockets as she shrugged.431

“I don’t care what you did.” He tried to smile. His hands left his pockets and he reached an arm out to my chin. He lightly caressed it with his thumb as he stepped closer to me. My heart started beating really fast with ever breath I drew in.432

“The prick tried to rape you.” Aiden said. He wrapped his arms around me as he spoke. I looked up at him; his face was full of concern and disgust. 433

“But I killed him.” 434

“Cam, you didn’t. And it might take some time for you to come to terms with it, but I’ll be here for you.” Where did you come from? Who sent you? I felt so incredibly lucky to have Aiden standing by my side. I gently wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled my body closer.435

“Thank you for understanding,” I whispered. His hands stroked my hair gently. We unlocked our embrace and faced each other. A minute passed as nothing was said or done. We simply looked at each other, smiling.436

“At least now I know why you started going crazy in drama over the kiss,” Aiden said, finally breaking the silence.437

“Déjà vu,” I replied simply. 438

“I promise not to do that again,” Aiden said. 439

“Darn it,” I said sarcastically. “I was really looking forward to another one of your kisses.” Aiden smiled deviously.440

“Well then in that case…” his lips crushed down on mine. He pulled me closer to him again, and held me there. This kiss was sweeter than our first. It was better than our first. 441

“Camary, I’ll never treat you the was Andrew did. I will never hurt you the way he did, and I’ll certainly never lie to you. About anything.” Aiden mentioning the lie reminded me of several months ago when I was in hospital. I tried to make sense of the man who had been speaking with the doctor about Andrew’s body. Mr. McDonnell had clearly said “He’s no family of mine”, yet the doctor had said the documentation clearly stated he was Andrew’s father. The undeniable resemblance didn’t play well in Mr. McDonnell’s defense. Besides Emma and a family, what else had Andrew lied about?442

“Cam?” Aiden finally said.443

“Hmm?” I replied awkwardly; pulled out of my deep thought. 444

“I said I’d like to take you out on Saturday,” Aiden said. “That is, if you’re still up for being my date?”445

“Call me,” I scanned his face for a reaction, but all I saw were the same kind eyes he’s given me when I spoke with him.446

I got home at four that afternoon. I dragged my bag to my bedroom and left it at the door. I slumped on my bed and closed my eyes for a quick power nap. 447

I woke up and the time read nine forty five. Some powernap. I woke up and walked to my closet. I rummaged through the un-ironed articles of clothing; throwing them on my bed. At the back of my closet, my old back pack was stuffed into a barge plastic bag. I took it out and decided to open it, hoping to find some money. I unzipped every compartment and felt the inside. Nothing.448

The back compartment had something in it; I reached my hand in and felt around. I pulled out a long rectangular piece of paper. It was a letter addressed to me. My heart started beating faster, as I realized this letter was the one Andrew gave me when we first began dating. I held the letter in my hand, unopened, prepared to rip it open and read it. But I hesitated for a moment, fearing I wouldn’t like what I read. My courage won my conscious battle as my finger tore the envelope open. 449

Cam,450

There’s some stuff you need to know about me, but I can’t really tell you 451

until you’ve read this letter.452

My name is Andrew McDonnell, as you already know. I live with my 453

grandparents in Everstone. My father was a cocaine addict, and when he 454

was high, he would beat my mother and I,455

and one night when I was thirteen, I decided to fight back. My mother was 456

too weak to fight back, so I stood up against my dad. He beat me and I 457

decided to run away from home. I regret leaving my mother behind, and I 458

don’t know what happened to her. But I was young and scared. 459

I went to live with my grandparents and I’ve been better off. 460

For you, reading this must have you thinking, “Gee, this kid’s pretty 461

messed up”, and I used to feel the same way about myself. The day I met 462

you, my life started turning around instantly. I tried to deny the thought of 463

being involved with you, but every time I think I’ve erased you, I find I’m464

still thinking about you. But I’m afraid I can never be any more than your 465

friend, because I’ve got a girlfriend. I should do the right thing and leave 466

her, but I’m afraid to leaver her for you, and you decide you do not feel the 467

same way. 468

That is why I’ve written this letter. To let you know without telling you. If 469

you want something to happen between us, it’s up to you.470

I love you471

Andrew 472

The small blue letters on the page became illegible. My eyes stung worse than they ever had.473

“No,” I said quietly. I was alone in my room as I cried. I sat down on my bed; still looking at the letter. Had I read it the day Andrew had given it to me, he’d still be alive. My carelessness led someone I loved to be pushing up daisies. This stupid piece of paper was the reason I had messed up. 474

But this stupid piece of paper was the reason I met Aiden; the best thing to happen to me since, well Andrew. I fiercely wiped away my tears and stood up. I ripped the letter into small squares and left the pieces scattered on my bedroom floor. I picked up my phone and punched in Aiden’s number.475

“Hello?” the voice said.476

“Aiden, it’s Cam.” 477

“Cam, hey. What’s up?” He asked.478

“I’m going to cash in my rain check now thanks,” I said. My eyes sorted through my clothes for what I could wear.479

“Great! I’ll pick you up tomorrow night at eight then.” 480

“See you then,” I said. I pressed the end button and held the phone to my heart. This was the first time in months I’d felt this exuberant.481

I sat in the lounge anxiously awaiting his arrival. I stood up and went to the bathroom; I had to check that I looked good before I left. I wore a random green dress I found in my mum’s closet. My mother and I shared clothes for a very long time, and it just so happened she had the perfect dress for tonight. The wall clock read 8:15; Aiden was late. If only he hurry up and get here before my mum got home. She would definitely turn this into a big deal; taking photos and such. The unfamiliar roar of what I guessed to be Aiden’s car approached my drive way. The engine was still running when he started knocking at my door. 482

“I’m coming,” I called. I checked my teeth before leaving the bathroom and I opened the front door. 483

Aiden was wearing a dark blue shirt and acid wash jeans. He flashed his trademark smile as he looked me up and down. 484

“You look great,” he said. I closed the door behind me and walked into his arms. He lightly kissed me on the cheek. “Shall we?” he said as he escorted me to his car.485

Aiden planned on a movie and dinner. It’s quite cliché, but sweet none the less. We walked into the cinema; our fingers tangled together. We found seats close to the back closest to speakers. 486

”What are we watching?” I asked Aiden. He smiled at me.487

“It’s a surprise,” he said. “You look good in the dark.” 488

“What are you saying?” I accused, jokingly of course. He explained with a kiss and the movie started. 489

The Bean Movie was quite possibly the worst movie I’d ever seen, but I guess it didn’t matter because I was to busy with Aiden.490

Later onwards Aiden took me to the city for dinner. We ate and conversed for nearly two hours until I decided I’d had enough.491

“I’m thinking,” I began, and Aiden and I walked back to his car. “We should swing by this little shindig you’re having.” Aiden’s expression turned to surprised but also pleased.492

“Are you sure Cam?” 493

“Definitely.”494

“Let’s do it then,” he said, as he opened the front passenger seat door for me.495

We pulled up to the large grey bricked house. The front yard was luscious and a deep shade of green under the moonlight. It was well past midnight, but I didn’t care. Aiden escorted me into the house; filled with drunken teenagers and loud music. Aiden held my hand as he led me to the bar. This was just ridiculous, who the hell has a bar in their house?496

“Can I get you a drink?”497

“Is it possible to just a get a coke?” I said. Aiden’s eyes widened as he remembered I couldn’t drink. 498

“The closest thing to coke is Woodstock, maybe just juice or something?” His voice was muffled by the sound of the loud music. I nodded fiercely, eager to get out of the house and to somewhere quiet. He passed me a tall thin glass filled with orange juice. I downed it pretty fast, not realizing how thirsty I was. I heard Aiden laugh quietly under his breath.499

“I’ll get you another?”500

“Please,” I said, pushing away the empty glass. Within seconds, Aiden handed me another drink. This one was in a martini glass, with a slice of lime on the egde.501

“What’s this?” I asked. My voice was overpowered by the music, so I had to yell.502

“A mock tail,” Aiden said. He was sipping on a drink in a brown bottle. Beer; quite obviously.503

“A mock tail?” I asked questioningly.504

“It’s a non-alcoholic cocktail. Just drink it and enjoy yourself,” Aiden said. I raised the glass cautiously to my lips. I took a small sip of the red drink; the sweetness was unexpected but nice. What am I worrying about? 505

“Well, well. Look who decided to make a cameo appearance at my party,” a voice said. I turned around and saw Kaya standing in front of me. She was wearing long, black, skin tight leather pants and a red low cut top. Her face was caked in foundation; she’d really gone all out for tonight. I opened my mouth to make a comeback about her attire, but I decided against it. Aiden didn’t though.506

“Kaya, what the hell are you wearing? You look like a hooker,” he said. Hmm, he took the words right out of my mouth.507

“You shouldn’t be caring about how I dress. What I want to know is why you brought this downy in here for,” Kaya began.508

“Cam is my date tonight, and we thought we’d swing by my party and check it out,” Aiden said in my defense. 509

“Well, Cam,” Kaya said to me. “Is this your scene?” I smiled deviously for a moment.510

“No, not really.” Kaya smiled in satisfaction. But I was quick to wipe the smirk from her face. I grabbed Aiden’s hand, “I’d much rather some time alone with your brother,” I whispered in her ear, as Aiden and I walked past her. Of course I had no idea where I was going, but my instincts lead me to a small room with a large Futon. I sat down and Aiden sat beside me.511

“That was pretty courageous,” he said.512

“What? Me standing up for myself?” I asked slyly.513

“You know she’s going to slaughter your reputation.”514

“Do I care?” I said. Aiden’s lips met mine briefly, and pulled away almost instantly.515

“I’m sorr…” I cut off Aiden’s sentence with a kiss. My fingers were tangled in his hair, his arms locked around my waist. This kiss was almost familiar, almost like Andrew’s. Andrew’s face appeared in my head, but I quickly erased it. Aiden managed to lift me unto his lap, with his arms softly caressing my arms. I opened my eyes for a peek. My jaw snapped shut unexpectedly, and a sickeningly salty, metallic taste filled my mouth.516

“Ah! Cam, you bit me,” Aiden said, as he touched his bottom lip gingerly as blood smeared on his bottom lip.517

“Oh god, I’m so sorry,” I said, as I pulled a Kleenex from my pocket. I dabbed lightly at his lip. He was so eerily reminiscent of Andrew after I bit him. 518

“I am a freak,” I mumbled under my breath, as I wiped up the last of blood.519

“You are not a freak,” Aiden said. He pinned my arms down at their sides. “You are awesome. I am having a good time with you.”520

“But I bit you,” I said.521

“That’s probably because I wasn’t kissing you hard enough.” We continued were we’d left off; before I split his lip open. 522

The next Monday back at school was good. Gossip spread like a rash at this school; people spotted Aiden and I at his party and claimed we were an item. Although this was not official, neither of us denied it, or confirmed it. Lunchtimes and free periods were spent conversing and studying. He’d held me with physics, and I’d help him with his English.523

“So why are you so good at physics?” I asked him one afternoon.524

“Because my dad is Newton,” Aiden answered cheekily. I raised a single eyebrow, completely aware that he was being sarcastic.525

“But your dad as an ambassador at the Brazilian high commission.”526

“My dad’s a lot of things.” Aiden’s face gained complete seriousness as he said this.527

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked. Although I might have been prying, I wanted to know everything about Aiden. I couldn’t risk falling in love with someone I knew nothing about.528

“My father, gets into the wrong kind of business. Let’s leave it at that,” Aiden answered. Frustration began to consume me.529

“But I want to know. I need to know,” I said. Aiden looked up at me from his English homework.530

“What you need, is to do your homework,” he said. He stood from his chair and walked over to me, “Or maybe a break. Let’s get coffee.” I smiled gingerly as I stood from my seat.531

We walked into the mall, hand in hand. This was strange; that I’d jumped into a relationship so fast. Well, it had been nine months since Andrew’s death. I couldn’t live in constant guilt for the rest of my life. I was young, and needed to see what was out there. 532

“Cam?” Aiden said. I’d been so absorbed in my thoughts I’d blocked out outside sounds.533

“Sorry, what?”534

“I said, I want to take you to this little place called Rendezvous Café. They make the best macchiato,” Aiden said. My throat became thick, as usual, whenever something reminded me of Andrew. My expression must have been more obvious than I’d imagined.535

“Cam, are you alright?” Aiden looped his arm through mine and around my waist. I simply smiled and nodded, but he could see something was wrong. “You don’t like this place?”536

“No, it’s cool. It’s just that,” I began. He nodded empathetically.537

“Andrew.” 538

“Bingo.”539

“Is there anywhere I can take you that doesn’t remind you of him? I don’t want to cause you anymore pain,” Aiden said softly.540

“Aiden, no matter what you do, as sweet as it is, and as much as I appreciate it, everything reminds me of Andrew.” He nodded in understanding.541

“Even the way I kiss you?” 542

“It was a reflex thing you know, when I bit you.”543

“Ouch, can’t imagine what he must have done to make you bite him,” Aiden said sarcastically.544

“Well, ‘tis the way it is.”545

“What if I,” Aiden locked me in his arms; hanging loosely at my waist, “kissed you like this?” His lips began dancing on my collarbone, moving slowly up to the tip of my chin. He began softly nibbling on my neck, and his lips brushed against my jaw line.546

“I like where this is going Aiden, but this probably isn’t the best place to do it.” He must’ve completely forgotten we were in the mall. Senior citizens walked past us, wearing faces of disgust.547

“I’ve never seen such behavior in public in all my years,” one woman said. My face became hot, but Aiden kissed my cheek lightly. I forgot about the distractions as he held me.548

“Should we just go chill at my place then?” Aiden asked me. I nodded subconsciously. If I’d been in my rational state of mind, I would have said no. The last time I ‘chilled’ with a guy, I very nearly lost my ‘innocence’. As this thought crossed my mind, I almost regretted agreeing to this. But as Aiden was on the highway, less that ten minutes away from his home, my worries disappeared like road underneath the tires. 549