So many things have happened recently. And I feel a little overwhelmed. Most of them are good but there is a twist of sadness along with them.2
My Mom and Norm got married and I'm very happy about that. But Norm does just what my mom got away from Brian from. Drugs. He isn't a horrible druggie... but there isn't a such thing as a good druggie. He is an alcoholic..but he isn't a mean one. He is better than Brian in so many ways. He is really nice to me and he never yells at me. And he makes me feel that it is ok to be me. Just the way I am. And he isn't abusive to my mother.. but they do get into arguements.. which makes me sad...but I guess it is a major improvement over Brian. So thank you Lord..... YOU HAVE BLESSED ME!3
My Dad had a heart attack Saturday. The day Mom took off of work to take us kids to Hurricane Harbor for a break. It made me sad. We didn't learn about it until Sunday during church. He doesn't have a phone so he wasn't able to contact us. When we finally heard we heard it through our aunt who called our aunt who called our Mom and told us. When we went up tot he hospital he told us he felt like he had no family. Out of seven kids... he said he felt like he didn't have even one. Which is his fault and ours. He wasn't there for us growing up and now that he wants to be it is hard for us kids to accept that. Lord please help us in this situation. Jonathan is excited about him and Dad getting a relationship..but I'm afraid he's gonna get hurt. My dad is like that. And it will make me sad to see him go from so excited to so hurt. Matthew doesn't even wanna talk to him barley.. he says he wasn't there then..why is he gonna be there now? Which is understandable but I do wish that he would give dad a chance. Lucas, Michael, Kimberley, Jesse, and me have access to my dad..but we don't do it as much because we arent' that close to him. It hurts me Lord... especially when I see people around me with great dads..and then I reflect about mine and then I feel all gloomy..and really sad. Like I've been deprived of something all my life. But help me Lord to realize that you are there for me and that you are my one true FATHER.. the one who will be there for me all of my days. And has been there.4
I feel continuously guilty Lord. I don't give you as much of myself as I should.. I should give you all of me but sometimes I give you only half of me. I am sorry. Please Lord.. take all of me. Use me for your will. USE ME! I am here.. I wanna spread your word.. I wanna make my fire within me shine brightly.. I wanna glow when someone looks at me. And have them say "SHE'S GOT JESUS!
". 5You amaze me Lord. You shoke me speachless... 6
DONT' STOP!7
All my love,8
Your earthly daughter..9
~Ashley Gail Alford~ @};-10
Adding your comment:
that she wouldn't ever do that to me. But just think. All that happening to you made you the person you are today. And if that didn't happen you wouldn't have met the people that you have. 
~
