My Friend Satan

Why do I love Satan? Why did he become my god? It all started in my childhood. My father was a member of the Orange Order in Belfast NI, where I grew up, a highly visible Protestant Christian society that has been behind many a riot and uprising in Norther Ireland1

Of course we were supposed to be "religious" but the God that was taught to me made no sense... otherwise why was me father so abusive to us children? He was an alcoholic, sadistic, neglectful, and always shoving his beliefs down my throat. Why was me mum a lunatic who did things like walk around the streets in her nightgown in the middle of the day and chase us around with knives one minute and then cry and say how much she loved us and couldn't live without us the next? Why were people killed every day right in front of me because of all the struggle that went on in my city? My own home more than once twas set afire, shot into, bombed, because of who me dad was. 2

It all made no sense... this so called God. I saw no love...no peace... no mercy in life at all. So religion twas something I quickly spurned and went my own way with my beliefs. I was a secret (didn't dare tell me Da) atheist until around age 14, when I was taken to my first Satanic ritual by an older guy I twas sleeping with at that time. Something felt right with this practice. I can still remember it all so vividly... the feelings that were generated in me that very first night... being told that sin is not unnatural... undesirable, and to this day I consider myself a Satanist. I began to study Anton Levey and Aleister Crowley's writings and those of many others who taught the dark arts. 3

Eventually I twas kicked out of my parents home. At that point I had my dark mates and found places to stay. I was still so young when I think back...16 or so. Staying with people of a like mind... many more experienced than myself at that point... got me even deeper of course into the whole lifestyle. When it came to religion I was into being a Satanist and when it came to relationships I was a Dom. Being a Master and being a Satanist seem to go hand in hand. For both are deviant and both are looked down upon by society ... both call for blood and torture and pain at certain times. 4

Even now as an adult I cannot help feeling that Satan is my friend. Even though I know deep down that I should be praying to a loving God, I still struggle with feelings of this God being mean to me and Satan being the loving one. 5

At any rate, my favourite dark creature, as you can see, is Satan.