The little match girl

I walked along, the cold wind numbing my body even though I wore a rather large fur coat. I shivered as the snow began to fall, the perfectly unique crystals landing on my lashes. I opened my mouth, a snowflake landed on the very tip of my tongue, melting before I could examine its symmetric beauty. 1

I smiled at the prospect of the night to come; the whole family gathered together before a roaring fire, chestnuts roasting, sipping coca from porcelain mugs (nana’s best), the pleasant crack of firecrackers pulled apart by eager young hands. Even old grandma Mildred would be there, probably wearing that old musty dress, whipped out only for special occasions. Father was even making uncle Rodger come, his reclusive habits put aside for the night. 2

A slippery patch of ice sent me tumbling out of my day dream, the cold cobbled walkway adding to my numbness. When I looked up, I noticed a huddled figure, shivering in the frigid air, sitting on the street corner, her face blue with cold. To my astonishment, she wore only a pale, washed out, tattered once-upon-a-time dress and a thin jacket, about two sizes to small. Her tiny, soot-blackened feet were curled under her small body in an attempt to warm them.3

“Matches, come buy your matches,” her small voice called out into the deepening twilight, but nobody stopped, they just hurried by, pretending not to see the poor child. Maybe they thought if they ignored her, made her blend into the background, she would just disappear.4

A little spark of light emanated from a match lit by the girl. She hunched over the light in an effort to protect it from the bitter wind. Her numb hands shook, the small flame sputtered out, the charred match slipped from her clutching grasp. She lit another, which too fizzled out, the used up match joining the other on the cold ground. 5

I approached her timidly, my hand jammed in pocket, fingering my last paltry coin. She needed it more then I, the poor soul. 6

“Can, can I buy a match?” I stuttered softly.7

She did not move, a vacant faraway look occupied her gray eyes. Her mouth moved, forming whispered words that were quickly lost in the wind. I bent down closer.8

“Grandma, grandma I’m coming.”9

She let out a sigh. Her breath blowing out her last lit match, the smoke drifting upwards, up to the starry heavens, along with her soul. 10

An unusually bright shooting star shot across the sky, sending little sparks of light into the heavens.

Author notes

Hmm, this is written from the point of view of another girl seeing the little match girl

Oh yeah, The Little Match Girl is probably (c) to Hans Christian Anderson, but idk

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 34 of 34

  • kissedbyan angel
    November 17
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    I loved this, the desciption is great and I loved all the spelling and everything. It was amazing, keep up the great work.

    -Jennifer out

    beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • the class
    October 6

    Edit | Reply
    Really good, the description is great. I love the paragraph about the night with her family; totally quaint and cosy The little match girl part was good too.


  • Chanel xxxx
    August 25

    Edit | Reply
    I like this, it's really sad though about the little girl who nobody wanted to buy anything from.
    At least the main girl has a heart and offered to buy one :-)
    Hahahaha I think you could make it longer or add a second chapter!!
    Well done and thanks for entering


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    August 15

    Edit | Reply

    Muy Bueno

    This was really well done. I quite liked this

    I only caught two things I'd like to suggest fixing:

    P2:

    Even old grandma Mildred would be there...

    Father was even making uncle Rodger come...


    For both of these sentences, I would suggest capitalizing grandma and uncle since you are saying it with a name.

    Gradma Mildred
    Uncle Rodger

    Overall, very well written and thank you so much for entering this in the contest Good luck!


  • Clary--Selene--Tayy gold member
    August 4

    Edit | Reply
    i already commented on this


  • Clary--Selene--Tayy gold member
    July 21
    Edit | Reply
    that was really cool, good job


  • andhearts. ox
    July 9
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    Loved it, though I have heard this story before..


  • Dual.Of.Fireflies
    July 5
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    Good job!


  • Marisalyn13
    July 2

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    This was an amazing story. I loved it! Good job, good luck, and thanks for entering! this was amazing!!


  • Noctella
    July 1

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    This is a really really good story. Short, simple, and very moving. But this contest only allows stories that are entered into only three other contests and who have not won any previous trophies. So I am going to have to DQ you. Good luck with the other contests though.


  • Jennywinnie
    June 17
    Edit | Reply
    Oh how aweful! p4

    This is very good! Great imagery and description!


  • MsAlee gold member
    June 17

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    Beautiful, completely beautiful. i had never thought to even write the story from an onlookers point of view.


  • hardcorelove
    May 4

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    this is such a well writen story...very good..keep up the good work


  • angellove silver member
    April 22

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    Light bulb came on, hehe

    I looked up Hans Christian Andersen for what I was teaching in one of my classes. Yes, he wrote Little Match Girl. He also wrote Emperor's New Clothes and The Nightingale.

  • biddy
    April 14

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    cool

    i could almost feel the cold snowflakes against my cheek, the language in this story is amazing, it just blew me away, you could do this for a living

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Resident Evil 4 Fan
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    I love this story! Don't ever change cuz this is a really good story! BYYYEEE!


  • powerpuffs
    April 2

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    very odd

    it has some potential, it was good! I loved the part with the shooting star, the flow was awkward, but yeah-ummmmmmmmmmm-ish!
    Thanks for entering!
    Powerpuffs(Pp)


  • Elvenfairy
    March 31

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    this is a kind of weird story. It had a lot of promiss at first, but than it just kind of died. Well, that was how it seemed to me anyways. It was going so well, than it was like, "what happened?" Oh well, anyways, good luck in teh contest


  • Hellcat Metal
    March 31

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    Wow I loved this! I have never heard of this story before so I'll have to check it out. You did a great job on writing this! Thanks for entering.

  • angellove silver member
    March 29
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    This is a simple story, and I like the bittersweet mood of it. Your description of the girl is very good. I could very well imagine what she looked like. I don't know if the little match girl is Hans Christian Andersen's creation or not. It's always good to remind us of characters in classic stories we will never forget.

    Write On!

    Beth

    beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.


  • sberendt gold member
    March 29

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    I liked the point of view that you used. It is a nice take on the children's story. Nice job!


  • stepbystep
    March 21

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    ahh, i love this! (:
    it reminds me of another story i used to read as a kid,
    thank you for bringing that back.

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