Such a fool [Short Oneshot]

1

Twirling in circles hands held out like I'm trying to fly. The sun burns my skin turning it pink with life, something I miss. I miss the sun the most, No I miss the autumn leaves that fall around catching in my chestnut brown hair my golden eyes glistening with glory. He's there oh how I miss him the most. His reassuring smile, his soft pink lips against mine. I miss his arms wrapped around me holding me close while he whispers sweet nothings into my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I miss his messy blond hair and crystal blue eyes, how they always seemed to break through all my masks. I miss his lame jokes and his silly pet peeves that made him go slight red when seen. God I miss his finger tips, how they always seemed to find the right spots sending my nerves off the edge. We used to lay down in the leaves letting them fall around us our eyes closed his arms around me my head on his chest as we'd count the clouds. Now my world was dark and instead of clouds it's stars. Instead of his warm touched and soft kisses it's My masters harsh words and fists. He owns me, I'm his he said, to do with as he pleases. I am such a fool to have fallen for that trickery. I am now bathed in darkness no more sunshine for this fool. I am cursed to forever be feared, hated and hunted. This life isn't as appealing as they spend hours trying to make you believe in books. It's a scary life of live or die, be hunted or hunt, kill or be killed. There is no way to fight the ergs that compelled you to be a monster, and that's what I am, a monster. You lose your soul, your sanity, your innocents and your humanity it just slips through your fingers like sand in an hour glass. But my glass is now never ending, eternal damnation is what I'm cursed to. I can hear him calling to me ordering my return to his hell. I do not wish to return to it, I'll never belong there no matter what. I was sun kissed once, A special girl with the power of light and love. Now I'm shadow kissed horrid and cold. I will never be forgiven for the sin I am now....a vampire.

Author notes

Just something random that popped into my head <.<

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Kattie-Korpse
    May 5
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    Alright

  • HoneyAngel
    April 3
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    This is good, could be better if you cut it up a little, reading one big long thing is quite hard and it can hurt the eyes. Other then that just a little revision, maybe read the words out loud so you can hear if something doesn't make sense.

    Thanks for entering.

    Angel


  • TommyTRASH
    April 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful tale of yearning.
    The boy sounds v. cute with his hair hehe.
    I also like your mention of Autumn.
    I love how the leaves fall...we don't really get that here.

    Great story.


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    March 30

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    This is pretty good.. but I do agree with Decadent Anomaly to separate into some paragraphs/polish it up some with spell check, etc. Great use of words and imagery here, however. Very well done and good short

  • Decadent Anomaly
    March 25

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    I absolutely love this:

    "I was sun kissed once, A special girl with the power of light and love. Now I'm shadow kissed horrid and cold."

    Very powerful. It sums up this piece nicely, tying everything together

    And this:

    "I will never be forgiven for the sin I am now....a vampire."

    Implies the vampire as the embodiment of the sin rather than merely a sinner. Bravo!!

    It needs to be seperated into several paragraphs to keep seperate her varying thoughts of him.

    Run it through a spell check and polish it just a bit. I really like what you have here. The usage of words overall is compelling. If you follow through on this you could have something amazing.

1 - 6 of 6