My name is Sandra and I am 15 years old. I was born in Texas where I lived for 13 years. When I was born my mother and father were still together. We moved to Louisiana shortly after I was born. I can't really remember much from when I was a little baby, but the one thing I do remember is my dad rocking me to sleep every night.1
Now when I was 4 my baby brother was born and when I was 6 my twin sisters were born. Then when I turned 9 my mother and father split up and we moved in with my mother. Even though we didn't live with my father he made sure to come see us every single day. Things didn't go all that well because my mom wanted to go out and have her boyfriends and her job wasn't paying enough to raise all 4 kids.2
So with that being the case we moved in with my father. My dad also didn't have everything we needed. So we moved back to Texas to live with my dad at our grandmas' house. About 2 years after we moved to Texas my dad was making enough money to get us a house of our own. So we moved out of my grandmas' house and into a house my dad was renting for us. Life with my dad was so much fun. I remember him picking me up from school and taking us to the park, or going to the movies, or going swimming. One thing I really remember is him coming home from work and jumping in the pool still in his work clothse and everything. Just to rock the pool for us. 3
After about 2 years we moved to an even bigger house so that I could have my own room, and so that everyone could go to the schools we wanted too. Living with my dad was the best thing ever. Now through all this my mother stayed in Louisiana, and called every now and then too see how we were. I though that she didn't really care about us cause she wasn't here with us.4
OK! This is where the real story begins I have filled you in on back round so listen up. I am now 13.5
It was Saturday February 15, 2003. I had spent the night at my cousins' house and was going to see if I could again. So I went home and asked my dad if I could spend the night again and go to church and then come home that night. Now my father was the easy going type and off course he said yes. So I went to my cousins' house that night. The next morning we went to church and then went back to her house to hang out. 6
Well that nigh my Aunt Katie took my home and my dad was lain on the couch. Now my dad was the type to also always be doing something and him lain on the couch just wasn't normal. Well my dad had Asama so my Aunt Katie asked him if he was feeling OK. He said he was a little wheeze but he would be OK that it was probably just the flue. 7
That night my dad asked me to fix supper and that just wasn't like him, so again I asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital and I would watch the kids. Again he said that he would be OK in the morning. Well that night I went to bed at 10:00pm so that I could get up in the morning at 7:00am. About 30 minutes after I went to sleep my dad came to my room and sat on the end of my bed and told me how much he loved me for about 30 minutes. This really freaked me out cause he had never done this before. When he was done he kissed my forehead and went to sleep. Little did I know the next morning would change my life forever.8
Author notes
This is a stroy so as you can see its not finished yet. I will try to add a chapter every nigh. Just be pashent and keep looking for more. Thank you for reading and please comment.
Sandra
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I think this is a fine story. It's done in a simple first person style of narration. I particularly like the fact that it isn't done in a lot of needless, wordy, description, or metaphor. It has a sweet, honest innocense to it. I look forward to reading more.
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writing about your own life is a good way to have people get to know you I think you did an excellent job writting it
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yes it is my life. All mt poems are based on truth.
Love Sandra -
Great job, is this your real life? Like is this your story? Or is it fiction, sorry if I didnt catch on. Good ending!!
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Sorry you feel this way but what I write is exactly what happened so I am not going to change it. Sorry hope you like it better as it goes on.
Sandra -
Sorry some of ya'll feel the way ya'll do about what I am writing, but it'a a true story and what I write is exactly what happened. If you just can't find it I'm sorry. But I like it and the way it's coming along. Hope you do too as it goes on if not I'm sorry.
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not bad, try not to fire so much information at us at once; put in some descriptions.
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at times it didnt really catch on. but other than that i was interested. even if it was just a realistic fiction you get the sense that it is a real person. good job.
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The prose is a little choppy and you may want to utilize the spell check. Pick diction and structure that is indicative of the moment's emotion. Other than this, great suspense and build-up!
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That was cool, but I must agree that the spell-check may be used for grammatical reference!!!
LOL, hope to see the rest soon,
Jeff. -
oh no! I hope its not going to happen, what I think is going to happen! cos that would make me cry! I liked this! I thought this was a great start to your story, Is this a true story? Cos I could feel the emotion behind it, Great job after you check all the spelling this will be even better! I invite you to read my story series "who am I?" I would like to know what you think. You dont have to but if you do make sure u read chapter 1 first lol so many ppl dont ha ha. Take care! xxx ~QueenT~ 000
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It's an interesting start, but you may want to 'spice it up' a bit. As it is, it's a bit bland. You may also want to look over it for spelling and grammar mistakes so that it's easier for the reader. However, there is potential there. Good job!
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Nice Start
Thank you for setting the stage so well in this. I agree with Broken, I am anxious to see where we go from here. Good job my friend. Talk to you soon BG. RED -
this was a good story, well a good part any way, i look forward to reading the rest soon. (you may want to hit spell check tho-just a sugestion)
-Broken
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