"High school another lame day." I told by best friends as they all laugh. It was a stupid day Thursday anyway. Always teasing us because Friday would be a day away and we had to bear this day.1
"Totally Cira." Maria said to me sighing. "I hate Thursdays. They are a pain."2
I smiled at the agreement. Maria was a very cute girl, she looked childish with tanned freckles over her nose touching her checks, with milk chocolate hair, and coffee eyes. Yet she was a strong person, so was I because my friends were the same as me. Ok I know it sounds weird so I will explain. Pay attention.3
There are two species: Humans, Ahiru's. Even though Ahiru is a name of a girl, she was the first person we have record of being one of us so we call ourselves after her. Turns out we have this genetic gene that makes our hair move. By itself, and it can turn into as sharp as a knife and cut like water at a very high pressure, or as soft as a bunnies fur. Our hair can move because of our emotions or on its own if you are very powerful. I happen to be one of those very bad mind if I tell you. If I get mad or anything my hair will move on its own to get the problem out of the way. Oh I almost forgot if a Ahiru is powerful they can walk on water, fly, and create a copy of themselves with a strand of hair.4
"Hope you don't get mad today." Lucas teased me. He was a lucky one he was not that powerful. He had rusty red hair and brown eyes. Handsome like all of us, it was something that I hated.5
"Hope you don't get a power boost." I replied back in the same teasing tone. Lucas scoffed and I hugged him, he was always soft to hug. Someone was walking in the shadows and I smiled.6
"Cain." I called as he approached. Our parents, before mine died, arranged our marriage. Truth be told I was not in 'love' with him, but he was a person I really cared about so I can learn to love him.7
"Hey there Cira." He said with a smile, lucky bastard he was not that powerful. Most of the time it is girls that have more power.8
I walked over to him. No one asked me out because after high school in the 'prestigious' Westwood Academy. School for a bunch of a rich humans, but mom and dad already made arrangements so I would attend with Cain and I don't want all of their hard work to waste. I didn't like the school though, everyone made fun of me and I was a sort of outcast, well except for these two idiots and Cain.9
"Cira Aquino, please follow me." The student council president said as she walked over to us.10
"Ok." I said neutrally as I followed me she took me straight to the deans office. 'What did I do now?' When I walked in all of the windows were darkened and a small candles were next to the desk. The dean a dark and mysterious person was sitting there.11
"Cira... take a seat." He said and I immediately did, the dean always did freak me out. "Cira I have some bad news for you." He said seriously I felt my stomach drop.12
"What is it?" I asked more like demanded politely.13
"Your marriage with Cain is over. You are now engaged to the prince of Byzantirna." He said and I almost freaked.14
"What? Why?"15
"You are the strongest and the youngest Ahiru there is. The king wants to unite his son with an Ahiru woman to bring peace because you shall be representing your kind." He said and I clutched my seat until it hurt.16
It was all because I was powerful, I knew something bad would happen to be because of it. Knowing that I am the only one that is powerful and can control myself is why they picked me.17
"Come on lets get going you are going to meet the prince." The dean said and I got up. I was going to have this with dignity, so I straighten myself and walked with pride.18
"Oh joy in life." I mumbled under my breathe. This is going to suck so badly.19
I was taken to a room where a guy was sitting on the big arm chair. Black hair and hazel eyes, big whoop. Actually if they were blue it would be hot. He stood up wearing the tux thing but without the jacket part, wonder why? He stood up and was taller than me. Lucky tall person, I sighed and so did he.20
"Hello there... Cira right?" He asked as he took my hand and kissed it.21
"Yeah it is.... you are prince...?" I said because I never paid attention to the humans. Mostly because I don't give a crap about it.22
"Bob." He said naturally and I tried not to laugh. "No actually it is William." He said with a smirk I had to give it to him I believed him. Great this was going to be an interesting thing.
Author notes
Ok guys have fun.
(''')(*...*)(''') <-thats a zombie
(...)(x...x)(...) <-this is his bro.
In a list
A contest entry
- IM SO SICK OF TWILITE STORIES by Maggie Kay.
130 points, ended March 27, 31 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Trophies for the Trophy-less by May Kingston.
175 points, ended May 24, 72 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Cool and interesting
This story is so original. I've never read anything like it. The great thing about this story is that it doesn't remind me of anything else. It is totally pure.
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Cool
I like your story here. It's interesting and I like the powerful Ahiru. This is interesting so I must read more. You have a couple grammar mistakes here and there, but overall I love this idea. Totally fits my quote!!! -
You have a really interesting idea here. I decided to come check this out becuase everybody else said it was really good, and it is! The only thing is that you switch tenses, i.e. from past tense to present tense.
Can't wait to read more! -
Good
I like it a lot. Interesting idea, can't wait to continue reading it!beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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Haha this reminds me of all the hair commercials that I have ever seen. It is an interesting and unique idea. I hop you run with it, and can truly get it published. Good luck.
I enjoyed your story and I thought the idea was neat. The descriptions were good, but there were a few grammar mistakes. Run it through spell check or go back and read what you wrote out loud and that should help you to discover where they are. Keep up the good work.
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I really like this idea! It's so fresh and original; the Ahirus. I like that name as well... Good job, I'm eager to read more, and already you've presented conflicts, which grabs the readers' attention.
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There are some grammatical errors and some parts are a little awkward, but it's an interesting idea. There are some parts where the main character sounds a little too childish in the word choice and the way things are described. Maybe with a bit more practice, you can work your way up to a more mature writing style. Overall, not a bad story. Thanks for entering!
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Deadly.
Again you require help grammar wise but I love the story concept exactly the way it is. Do not touch it. I forbid you lolz. Great flow in this one too which is always great to see. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future
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Strawberry fantasy
nice! Makes me want to read more!
GOOD JOB! u might became a great fantasy novelist!
beginning: 2, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 3.
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the story is cool! the prince would be hot with blue eyes... lol umn..... SUPER WEIRD! yesterday i made the same zombie and i thought i was the only ine who knew how to make it cuz i made it up... wow.....
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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haha nice zombie and his bro.
ew i would hate to have an arranged marrige. I was quite angry when i found out she had to marry him because of her strength
it souldnt be about what u are but who you r
i enjoyed this story and keep up the good writing
thanks for entering
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