The Fishing Guide1
Old man Hartin coughed and hacked something into his dirty hanky, something I didn't really want to know about.2
"Shorry shunny" He wheezed. "I can't do it this week, and Bob's guidin' that party from England da gum it."3
"Oh great, this is the only time I can go, I book this week every year. Why didn't you call. What'll I do now? I've come six hundred miles." I was almost in tears. Every year I would fly up to Northern Ontario for this fishing expedition. No matter how busy things were at the agency I could always find time. It was my sanity.4
"I've been thinkin' about that boy, I can send Alyssa out to guide you. She knows darn near everting I do about this river."5
I recalled the scruffy little mutts that sometimes gathered in the door as we talked, and wondered which one was Alyssa. There seemed to be a dozen of them, most of indeterminate age and sex.6
"Alyssa, get yer scrawny butt out here." He roared.7
Well it wasn't, and it was sheathed in a beautiful satin dress that was probably new when the Titanic sank. No panty lines. Breathtaking. This could be interesting.8
"P p p pleased to meet you Alyssa."9
"Oh hi." She said in such a la-di-da tone that would think it was she who was the rich tourist and I the shack dwelling trash.10
"I told you don't flout yourself like that." barked the old man. "Git yerself dressed and ready fer a week of fishin'. Sorry Mr. Lawrence, here, have a shot of this white lightnin'. It's a new batch, through fresh tubes. I got sixty gallons in reserve if you need it fer yer bar agin."11
I always buy whatever he has, it's just a game we play.12
"Well. I might take a bit back to the city if the price is right."13
By the time we had our bargain struck Alyssa was back, dressed somewhat more appropriately in blue jeans, but still with the air of the satin about her.14
I don't really need to tell you much about the fishing trip. We went farther up than I had ever been before, and caught some nice fish. Alyssa turned out to be a completely ruthless hunter, and we always had fresh meat for the pan, as well as the fish, and the wild roots and greens she knew how to find and cook so well. It turned out she had been away at school for 4 years, which explains why I hadn't seen her as an adult before, and had a degree in natural science or something like that. Combine that with a life of living out here and you have a woman that can live comfortably anywhere, and can clean a partridge just as easily as she can open a jar of caviar.15
Of course we fell in love. She is a jungle cat, savage and silk, knowledge and naughtiness. She is everything.16
When we came off the dock hand in hand the old man was sitting in his rocking chair with that ever present twelve gauge of his by his side.17
"How was your catch?" he yelled.18
"Just great." We yelled in unison, and I swear to this day I saw Alyssa wink.19
She of course denies any such thing, says maybe she had an insect in her eye. Like I said, she was a completely ruthless hunter, and she still fits into that old dress too.20
Author notes
2
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Work? Isn't that a four letter word?
-
Awwwwww a cute little love story that was short and sweet. Not too much description though it could have used a bit more. And I liked the story line and how you added a bit of underplayed humour to it. Very nice. Keep up the good work
All The Best To You And Yours
LittleMoth -
You funny.
-
great
Ok I will give you good constructive criticism on how to make your work more marketable. Lets take the following line.
"Of course we fell in love. She is a jungle cat, savage and silk, knowledge and naughtiness. She is everything."
Ok that is way too powerful and too poetic for anything as mundane as getting someone to like your work. If I found someone who matched that description i would marry her in a heartbeat. You have just described the mythical madonnawhore of so many people's wet dreams. Of course you did so with class and clever choice of words. Too make it more marketable change the above mentioned lines to
Of course I fucked her. This virgin must have been a whore from a previous life since we fucked fucked fucked for two weeks.
I know this isn't quite marketable either but you need to reduce everything down to the lowest denominator. You need to get rid of love and increase the bodily fluids. You need to... nevermind just keep it beautifully written and impress fewer people who are impressed less easily. Thanks for writing. -
The fact that not too many people take the time to comment is balanced by the fact that most who do are educators and such.
-
That's a shame; it's a splendid story.
But I know what you mean. There are some pieces of mine that are really long and no one will put the time into getting through them - which I can understand, but is disheartening for me.
In any instance, I <3 your story, if it's any consolation.
Keep writing!
-
Thanks. I think it's on my web site somewhere, but for all the feedback I ever get from there I may as well written everything in the dust on the surface of my bath water.
-
Two thumbs up
Fabulous; I fell into this story completely and the tone of the narrator is wonderful. I loved reading this and I'm surprised more people haven't; it's truly a well-written, interesting story.
Good luck in the contest.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
