The iridescent wings of the butterfly beat in a distinct, rhythmic pattern, like a constant drumbeat soaring through the air. She was innocent: free of the turmoil and struggles of life, yet unknowing of the wonders that lay undiscovered. Time continued to pass her by without a pause. She never took a moment to reflect on where she had been or where she was headed, but instead flapped blithely onward, a small purple speck in the cloudless sky.1
A tiny nine-year-old hand reached out, and in one swift movement, plucked the butterfly from the only life she ever knew.2
"Nathan," pleaded a small, unsteady voice belonging to a girl of about five years. "Please don't."3
The boy smiled mischievously in response.4
"N-Nathan..." There was a moment of complete and utter silence. Tension flooded the moist July air. The only sounds were of the girl's long white dress rustling in the breeze and the quiet, distant singing of the birds. Two pairs of eyes – one anxious, one amused – were trained on the struggling insect.5
A tiny, yet unmistakable ripping sound emanated from the butterfly's left wing.6
"Just...just...STOP!" shrieked the girl. A sudden gust of wind blew, making the nearby swings sway crazily. Tiny tendrils of auburn hair escaped from their satin ribbons and snaked down her back. She rushed forward to do something–anything–to help the defenseless creature trapped in between her brother's thumb and index finger.7
And he did stop. Everything stopped. Time slowed to a walk, until it was no longer walking; it was crawling; then stopped altogether. It was as if life had taken a brief respite from itself. The birds stopped in mid-song. The leaves stopped in mid-rustle. Nathan stopped in mid-blink.8
The girl blinked, bewildered and amazed at the same time. She pivoted slowly on one foot, gaping as she took in her surroundings. The meadow stood as still as a painting, beautifully realistic yet eerily still and silent. She cautiously bent down to brush her hand against a sparrow about to take flight.9
The magic broke just as quickly as it started. The world came to life again. The sparrow took off in a flash of brown feathers. Birds chirped. Leaves rustled. A boy blinked. 10
The drum stopped beating permanently. Time passed on.
Author notes
Thank you SO much for taking the time to read this!
I'd love some feedback or a comment. This is the prologue of what I hope to be a short novel. I'm a little busy right now; not sure when I'll get a chance to write the rest.
Does this seem like a good start? Any spelling/grammar errors?
Comments
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You have such vividness in your description here. Such an awesome story.. Is it just a begining? Or are you leaving us hanging?


beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I really like it...
I think that this is a great start and I really appreciate you commenting my story.

